Hello all. I'm talking to a girl and I've already pedestalized her pretty much in my mind. It's not like she's the one but I keep constantly thinking about her, getting sad when I don't get reply etc. Because I have so much free time, I just fill it with her.
My college term ended a week ago and I'm in hometown. Can't pull because I'm staying with my family. All I do in the day is lift, eat, work on programming and occasionally meet with friends which leaves me so much free time. And in that free time, you know what I think about.
I'm in deep scarcity right now. I know the problem but can't find a way out. I've been thinking of cutting her out but I would love to be friends with her as there's great chemistry. Also I'll probably suffer like a month which I want to avoid. Any ways for me to get her out of my mind (besides talking to other girls which gives me no benefits right now)?
Anonytrp 2y ago
Go get numbers of other girls
BabyUareSoSexy 2y ago
I have exactly the same issue. Summer vacation, all my friends started dating, got stuck with too much free time and caught oneitis. The only thing that worked for me is cold approaching other girls. I was catching oneitis and went on a few dates and pretty much forgot about her.
gyunbie 2y ago
I mean I would love to approach girls but it feels like waste of time and money if I can't bring her home at some point. I'll give it a shot though, thanks a lot.
BabyUareSoSexy 2y ago
Just go on with your day and if you happen to bump into a cute girl, get her number and set something up.
Yruhere88 2y ago
Get a part time job to fill in the time and make some money.
gyunbie 2y ago
I tried finding a part time job but many places are in lockdown.
Hanscheezburger 2y ago
You don't have great chemistry with her, if you did, she would have replied. it's just your mind on oneitis thinking you do.
there's a reason why everybody says to move on to other girls. because it really helps. you haven't even tried from the way you talk about it. but trust me, getting to know a new person and having a good time with them will greatly boost your confidence and wellbeing.
last time I got oneitis really badly was a few years ago before I knew about the pill. To get over it, I went to this girl's facebook and found an extremely unattractive picture of her a few years back. Saved it and whenever I find myself thinking about this girl, I open the picture and thought "damn, why am I losing so much energy on THIS?"
gyunbie 2y ago
That's the problem. She is replying, we talk a lot. It's just me not wanting to drag down.
It's true I didn't try. I explained in another reply, it just feels like a waste of time and money if I can't bring her home, which I can't because I'm in my hometown. Still I'll try it and also the tip you gave too, thanks.
kingofthecastle 2y ago
Find your purpose, the reason you have so much free time is that you haven't set any goals to focus on for the time being. Take some time away from her to figure out what you (short or long term) goals you want to set for yourself and focus on them.
Also, cut her off if you need to but don't become friends because if you already caught feelings for her, your going to feel jealous if she's with another guy.
gyunbie 2y ago
I do try to work on fullstack development but I'm not a hardworker so it just takes a couple hours away from me. I want to try a lot of things (hobby wise) but thanks to my country and economy, only in my dreams for now.
Also I agree with your last sentence.