TDLR: engaged, love my wife, she is great, but I want more sexually, she does not satisfy me, although she tries hard. I don’t know if it’s her or if I’m just never satisfied. What are you thoughts ?
Let’s start with the part you will hate the most: I am engaged.
TRP improved many things in my life and helped me get better. It got me to a point I started to fuck 4/5 women in couple of month vs 1 every couple years. But I’m not extremely motivated by picking up, I often felt like I had better things to do than chasing pussy like the rest of them.
I’ve always been divided between two visions:
1) extremely solitary with no traditional relation to women, just plates, good times, lot of different women, basically fucking models and never settling
2) traditional couple approach of building a marriage far better than my parent’s. Finding a good wife, and living the quiet life of the good old working marriage like we get pictured sometimes with the military guy and his household.
A few girls after starting picking up more proactively I met a loving girl that I love and is very good wife material. I am very confident that I can build a strong family with her. She checks many of the green flags. So I settled with her. And then proposed to her. I don’t do LTR, if I allocate a lot of time for her, it is to build something. To me it’s marriage or just sex.
We are very happy. She does a lot for me. I love her. Everything is great.
Obviously there is a but. Quite simple: I crave other women. I want to fuck an ex because her pussy seems so much better in my memory. I want to fuck all my less attractive previous dates. I want to seduce new woman. And I want to always keep climbing to better and better pussy.
I’ve always been extremely ambitious sexually. And yet, very inspired by the principles of marriage and becoming a real good dad to great children.
My future wife does anything I ask to please me. She makes a lot of effort to please me. She got into BDSM for me (that’s me trying to find satisfaction in our relationship). But I don’t know why, something has always been lacking in sex.
We talked about it. She is sad but proposed a break for me to go fuck around and come back when I’m ready etc. I don’t want to leave her.
I completely stopped porn, tried to remove temptations removing Instagram, I don’t have any social media. And still, I meet girls in life and I want to dive in and seduce them.
I’m very confused and I don’t know what to do. Is something wrong with me that I should fix ? Should I work with her to have her accept « polygamy » on my side ?
There is no scenario where I leave her to fulfill purely sexual desire.
I almost fucked an ex which pussy I loved just to check if that would satisfy me better but my principles and honesty held strong at last.
My life is perfect at the moment. I’m fighter pilot in training, got a loving wife, my dream Ducati. And fuck, I crave some dumb ass.
Is it society trying to corrupt principles with constant sexual stimulation images to get me to beta pussy chasing or biology fighting ideology ?
Thanks ! Excuse my French !