I was in an LDR (I know) with this girl who was my "real" ltr for 3-4 years before the pandemic happened. We had a great relationship back then and although I had oneitis for her, I was semi TRP aware (but still not quite red pill) and made the LTR work well.
After a year of LDR, things got boring and so she ended it. All this is fine, I can see where I fucked up and I'm trying to move on. But the thing is, she left me to get into a new LDR. And she hasn't even met the guy in real life! She also told me to not contact her anymore as the new guy doesn't like her talking to me. I can't get over this fact and it seemingly flies in the face of TRP principles. What happened here? How was he able to grow her attraction so much from a distance? He should've been friendzoned!
If it helps, we live in a very conservative society and she has a very strict dad so she can't meet guys irl. Maybe that played a role. I'd really like some explanations and how this fits into the TRP worldview.
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
Grass is greener
It's surprisingly easy.
yes
RedCalad 4y ago
Is it easy, really? Everywhere on TRP it's said that it is impossible to do without meeting face to face, kino, etc.
How can you build high attraction online without all that?
Baron-von-Batman 4y ago
Status and pre-selection are two big ones.
Take for example a guy who either has social media or just sends her pictures. In these he flaunts his wealth with expensive cars, houses, vacations and is jetsetting around the world with attractive females. All he has to do is build up the fantasy in the girls head that he wants to include her in this lifestyle. What do you think the chances are she says no?
But even that isn't required all the time. One of my co-workers met her current fiancé while he was still in prison and they got together before they ever met, it's a dumpster fire as you might imagine but it can be easy given you tick the correct boxes for her.
Advice given on TRP is generally given with the average guy in mind. There are always exceptions but the majority of the time it applies.
123lakers321 4y ago
How exactly is it easy to build attraction from distance? Just curious here, but I feel like at least 50-60% of attraction is body language eyes etc.
But I've also heard similar stories of guys domming girls online unbeknownst to their husbands, and making girls obsessed with them online sometimes without even showing them how they look like to the point where said girl isn't interested in even meeting guys in real life. I've known a guy like this, and he wouldn't even call girls just message them and get these results.
Personally I don't see the point but it's interesting non the less, how can you build such insane attraction through text messages? Hoping someone with personal experiance could elaborate.
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
@RedCalad @123lakers321
Girls will by into the dream of you, even without the reality. Sometimes faster and easier.
Yep.
Very hard to do on text only, but if you've got the option to do voice, video, sending pics, etc. then it's certainly possible.
Look at it this way.
Girl your texting with.... talks about her cheerleader tryouts.... gives you a quick sob story about the challenges of being a top flight cheerleader.... sends you pics of her adventures and cheerleading skills. Talks about her life. Sends you sexy pics. Is interested in YOUR life. Hints at a happy and sex-fueled future together. Says she can't wait to meet you. Tells you about how other guys don't measure up anymore and she's really into you. A few messages like this and you'd probably be "yeah, whatever". A few weeks of it and most guys would be hooked on the fantasy. Why invest in the risks and difficulties of real life when your unicorn is out there.
RedCalad 4y ago
Thank you for your detailed response. My question now is, does it last? Will the dream of the new guy fade away after she's talked to him for a while and will she realize that she's being stupid? How long can it last?
mattyanon Admin 4y ago
Who knows.
You want her back, but really you should be finding another girl and not doing a LDR again.
BPasFuck 4y ago
They live in these girls' imaginations.
Basically the woman builds a fantasy that has only the faintest of reality's reflections in it.
She gets plenty of stimulation, without having to make a real effort of getting dressed, makeup, exercising, etc.
She allows herself to become a loser chick, basically, and wastes her time with this online personality that isn't real. That's what happens. She's taken herself out of the dating pool.
As far as you are concerned, this is a liberation for you. You are now free to go forth and find a woman that is ready for real shit, instead of fantasyland make-believe.
RedCalad 4y ago
Does that mean that it'll come crashing down soon after she talks to the guy more, gets to know him and the mystery is over? Because that'll make me very fucking satisfied.
BPasFuck 4y ago
if she's lucky? yes. And she'll snap back to reality.
If not, she'll stay in fantasyland and really piss away her life.
MrSmiley8585 4y ago
I had successfully built up atttaction with a girl back in my blue pilled days. It's harder but it can be done, and obviously I don't recommend doing so now.
RedCalad 4y ago
Interesting. How did you do it? And why won't you recommend it now?
MrSmiley8585 4y ago
She lived 2 hours away. We talked via phone for about a couple months before meeting up and moved in together after 6 months. Relationship lasted 2 years. Turned out she was bat shit crazy, and had mental health issues. Nearly ruined my life and is the reason I found TRP.
I don't recommend LDRs because no way in hell am I waiting that long for pussy. You also risk getting friendzoned and becoming pen pals (beta orbiter).
RedCalad 4y ago
Ah ok. How did you build her interest though?
MrSmiley8585 4y ago
For the 6 months before moving in together, we would chat every day, either text and/or FaceTime. Like I said, I was blue pilled af at the time and don't recommend this.
We had a lot in common, and got along great initially. She probably saw me as beta bux because she didn't have a job and was living with her dad. Whereas I had a good job and the financial means to provide. So combine that with my looks, good body, etc. she was able to have high interest in me.
MigosXdd 4y ago
Dude, it looks like you are stalking her. She’s your exLDR. How do you know all this about her? You want the TRP explanation without applying the TRP’s rule no.1 after break up – no contact. Do yourself a favor and never contact her/look up her profile again. She lives rent free in your head, whilst you are most probably nonexistent to her. Start with this and your mind will find rest after a while. Been there, done that.
Also, GFTOW.
RedCalad 4y ago
No, I'm not stalking her. I know all this because she told me when we broke up and I went no-contact right after. Now, do you have any idea about what I asked?
Musicgoon425 4y ago
So your non existent girlfriend left you for another non existent boyfriend?