So I have an fwb who I haven't seen in a while due to vacation and she is on a wedding abroad atm. She used to pay for vacations, cook and was overall fun, although I caught her chatting with other guys.
Anyways, when she's gone, I used to ask her for keys so I can use her apartment to chill (good location, nice bath) and occasionally hook up with other girls, since it was conveniant.
Now I asked her for the keys 3-4 hours before she's gone and the apartment is all cleaned up, some of my stuff neatly arranged, all kinds of bathing salts with towels ready etc. So I get all soft and start emotionally investing more and basically not even caring about other plates and potential hookups. She should be back in a few days and I don't want to text more because I hate emotional investing into a girl I'm not fucking atm and she could be fucking someone else. Makes me feel like a cuck. And if I don't text at all now after already texting, she will see it as butthurt (I just know it). Is this apartment thing manipulation from her part and what would you do? I'm working towards another fwb and I kinda want to keep this one around on good terms, but I get possessive/jelaous when she is not around. I don't have ltr plans with her, but I want her to give her best.
RonSwansonsPyramidofGreatness 5y ago
didnt read your post, but the answer is "yes"
BusterVadge 5y ago
You see your FWB as more than a FWB. I'd start there.
BungeeJ 5y ago
I see her more than a plate. I would like an oltr open on my side.
Doubleaxe90 5y ago
"kinda want to keep this one around on good terms, but I get possessive/jelaous when she is not around. I don't have ltr plans with her, but I want her to give her best."
Seems like oneitis + rationalization.
Maybe it is manipulation maybe not, in any case you should not care.
BungeeJ 5y ago
It's combined with life circumstances, a week ago I didn't care. I don't think about a girl I'm just fucking, but somehow I can't not be possessive towards a girl I'm texting to and giving more than sexual attention. I know it's a problem, but I'd just like to get to the core of it.
Doubleaxe90 5y ago
"She is not yours, it's just your turn" and abundance mentality, internalize.You are possessive because you think you can't attract better women at a drop of a hat and jealous because you fear loosing her, oneitis in action. Don't invest more and focus on other women.
mattyanon Admin 5y ago
I think her plans have shifted slightly, and/or she's just tidying up before going away for a bit.
Having access to her apartment to fuck other girls in: this is madness. You're risking a lot by overlapping like this. But I can see that it would be fun.
Yeah, this is because you don't have enough other options.
Let women be free....... but make sure you are free too
MoreAlfa 5y ago
I don't think you know what "friends with benefits" mean.
So, you have oneitis and need to actually read the sidebar on the main sub.
Sword7 5y ago
Jeez man, this is the kind of post that makes me think 'red pill' has gone to far in what guys think you need to do to be 'alpha'. You are using this girls apartment to fuck OTHER girls? How do you not think this is going to end in disaster?
Plus you worrying about texting, being a 'cuck' etc, you got some serious internal work to do. She isnt the problem (well she probably IS a problem) you are.
Musicgoon425 5y ago
Congratulations you have oneitis and a shitty frame. You sound weak and needy. I suggest not staying at this girls place and getting your own autonomy. You sir, are a mess.