Girl I'm seeing called and asked if I wanted to hang out on XX day. I said I can't as I had plans, but could meet her once I got done which would be at about 9pm.
She replied that she's not going to be my booty call, to which I replied that's her problem. She promptly said bye and hung up.
I wasn't trying to be a dick but probably didn't deliver well over the phone. One the one hand I feel bad, on the other I don't see what the problem with meeting up late at night.
Not heard from her since. Not sure what I should do next.
mattyanon Admin 5y ago
You were harsh, but not ridiculously so. This girl is trying to push from sex and towards beta provisioning: ie spending time with her as a precondition of sex.
Get more options.
Newguywhatdo 5y ago
That's what I thought. Is it worth reaching out as I was a bit harsh, or just leave it to her to get in touch?
mattyanon Admin 5y ago
The problem is that you were a bit harsh, but she wasn't exactly being pleasant, happy to see you, accommodating, etc. She didn't leap at the chance for a booty call.
Things are shifting towards prioritising her and not you. She is not being considerate, helpful, nice.
This means the relationship is slipping, attraction is slipping.
Hence my point: GET MORE OPTIONS.
Treat this one as a soft next: ignore for 3 days, then carry on as normal. Don't apologise for being harsh. If she brings it up, ask why she didn't jump at the chance for a booty call with you. Her answer will tell you much.
Newguywhatdo 5y ago
Got it, thanks. She recently gave me the exclusive talk so think I've given the wrong impression which is on me.
In person she's fine, all over me and always initiating, takes me places and cooks etc. I can't complain at all there. But I guess in her head she's trying to find stability and lock things down. I can feel she's trying to move things forward too quickly. It's frustrating because I like her but this shit just drives me away.
LaskerV 5y ago
Yeah, that was a pretty retarded response. Fogging would have been fine here:
"I can see why you feel that way. We can meet at 9pm if you want to meet on XX day, or we can meet on YY day instead."
This shows her that you're acknowledging what she said, but you avoid agreeing with it or arguing against it. It's basically like, yep you said that, but also back to reality here do you want to meet or not, etc.
Newguywhatdo 5y ago
Yeah probably would have been a better response.