Hey guys coming from reddit,
As title says - I haven't succeeded to transcend myself since I got into self improvement at 16, at 19 discovered TheRedPill. I'm 26 now with only one girlfriend and therefore one sexual partner. One of the main goals - getting an experience of missed youth, many missed chances of having a life I was supposed to have at young age that I have missed due to being a pussy, nothing else! I know what I HAVE TO DO, then I don't. You could call it big ego, stubbornness, fear, being a bitch, it doesn't matter. What matters is how I'm living the same shitty life for over 10 years now not being able to push through and become a man, stopping the cycle that took off that much that I got lost in it. I got lost in perpetuated 'trying' to do something - you could call it approaching chicks(having a sex life, abundant. I have no social circle that I would like to, having couple of friends and that's it, for now my only option is to cold approach and get my chances). The thing is, I have trying to do cold approaches for years and never being able to succeed in it! Had couple of approaches but majority of them were in the group.
To cut things short - I know what I'm supposed to do, what I have to do and I bail and bail. Went so deep in my own shit not seeing light. Solution - DO IT, do whatever you have, whatever it takes, but I don't. What is horrible is that I(same as you) have this one life and I have missed a decade of being a bitch, never pushing through, never making it out, and I'm stuck. Either cold approach, pushing my comfort zone, never giving up, staying in uncomfortable situations. I don't know what I'm doing even. Really really deep into my own shit that I have been taking for many years

SteinitzX 4y ago
I'm assuming that you're asking how to approach the issue of knowing what to do but not being able to bring yourself to do it. If this isn't what you're asking, then feel free to reply so, and I'll go from there.
Generally speaking, this happens because the first step [toward whatever you know that you should do] is too big for your nervous system to allow you to take. You can solve that with a structured version of self-administered exposure therapy that teaches your nervous system to stop doing that.
There's a great handout on the topic from the University of Michigan here: https://medicine.umich.edu/sites/default/files/content/downloads/Exposure-and-Desensitization.pdf
For example, suppose you're having trouble bringing yourself to approach. Write down a list of a few things that are "in the direction of" approaching, and score them from 1 to 10 (with 10 as the highest level of anxiety) in terms of how anxiety-inducing they are. Maybe this is what you come up with for the sake of the example:
You take the things you came up with, and you order them based on how much anxiety they give you:
That list becomes your training program. Now you have a new thing to do (imagining approaching a girl) that you feel more confident with that you feel better about doing because your nervous system isn't freaking the fuck out when you think about doing it. So you practice that thing a few times a day for a few days until you get bored with it, which means your anxiety for that task has fallen to a trivial level. Then you move on to the next one.
So in this example, you start approaching old men to ask what time it is. You keep practicing doing that a few times a day each time until you get bored with that one too. Then it's on to the next one, and you repeat.
Overall, you make a list like this for each thing that you're trying to do that you can't bring yourself to do. You start at the first step for each thing, practice it until you get bored and just repeat the process on down the line. This systematically trains your nervous system to stop making you freeze up when you go to do the things you want to do.
Have at it.
[deleted] 4y ago
[--removed--]
kingofthecastle 4y ago
Look your 26, at least your realize this now instead of when your 36.
When it comes to taking risks it all comes down to the end goal. Do you want an abundance of women? Cold approach and practice your game. Do you want to be successful? Build a business based on your purpose. Do you want a bigger social circle? Go out and meet people (especially at functions).
Also this all comes down to mentality, you beat yourself up because of the past while you could've prepared yourself for the future. You didn't approach that girl you liked? Approach next time. You wanted to express your opinion on something but withheld it out of fear of judgement? Speak up next time. Learn not be afraid of the result, just embrace it and move on.