Was having a rough day last week and leaned on my FWB (of a few months) for some emotional support, yes - moron. After having sex with her, I doubled down on my retardedness and said while I didn't want a relationship with her, I did feel weird about being propositioned by other girls and roughly implied I'd probably be swatting away those propositions and that it'd be nice if our relationship progressed further eventually. She did not reciprocate lol, said that she's not ready for a relationship because she got out of an LTR in Feb, but mentioned that we had amazing chemistry/sex blah blah. I stayed the night, we cuddled in the morning (we're naturally quite intimate) and I bounced. Aside from a few memes shared (she started it), it's basically been radio silence ever since.
My reptilian beta brain wants to reach out to clear the air and say I'm fine with our current dynamic (I genuinely am), but am I right in thinking this is a bad fucking idea and I should just stay the course and shut the fuck up/withdraw? The issue is that she is the less busy one so I am usually the one to set stuff up, I am worried by withdrawing completely she'll just think I'm disinterested in continuing the way we are.
Help brahs, and let this be a reminder to control your fucking childish emotions.
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MigosXdd 2y ago
Yeah, you fucked up by giving her the talk. If it were up to me, I’d not contact her for a day or two and then text her “Going into town to do x, feel free to join me.”
Also, seems like you have one-itis. Fuck some chicks, sidebar says it works (GFTOW).
Needless to say, listen to her actions, not her words. She cuddled with you the morning after, right? Were she indeed surprised and disinterested by the talk, she wouldn’t have voluntarily cuddled with you (or that’s my take).
Godspeed
resesrrs 2y ago
Case of oneitis for sure bro
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
That's a good response from her. You should learn it ;)
Shutting up would be good right now.
You need to SHOW her that you're on the right page. Less attention / more functional ["only text for meetups"] / be sexy flirty / don't respond too much or too quick / be distant.
Carry on as normal, as you did before. That seemed to be working.
Your emotional outburst has turned her off, so you need to get back to how things were before. Perhaps mention some masculine things in passing... "hang out Saturday after the gym, if you ask nicely I won't shower" or "after a long day telling other people what to do, I'd like to have a long night telling you what to do". Whatever works for you.
resesrrs 2y ago
thanks man good advice!
i-am-the-prize 2y ago
It's not a dealbreaker, yet. But you caught yourself, which is good. Now resist the urge to 'fix'. There is nothing to fix, other than your behavior, moving forward, which is in YOUR hands and does not involve her.
note the last part, your behavior doesn't involve her
Plus, you've shown you're human. Even plates want a 'tender defender' at times, a strong man who is sweet with them. (note providing comfort != showing your neediness and weaknesses and insecurities). The kiss of death is if she thinks you're sweet with everyone (b/c that means you're soft). So revert to your strength of action and move forward.
resesrrs 2y ago
good shit man. That last paragraph makes me feel better, but If I'm given the opportunity I'll rein it in.