I have a friend who consistently eats off my plate. I have no problems with it since he's the lil homie. I'm 26 and he's a young guy. Just turned 20. When we go out, he waits for me to go up to a group of girls to initiate conversation. I will be the center of attention, choosing one girl out of the pile and game her. He'll annoyingly follow me around all night and stand next to me while I talk to a girl until I make him leave. He'll wait around for the entire night until he's ready to go up to a girl that he's been peeping, and ask for her Snapchat. Even if he said nothing to her for the entire night. Typical beta male activity.
On Saturday, he did that exact thing and managed to do that exact same thing, but this time he was successful. While I was making out with a girl I met that same night, he would come up to me telling me that her friend was hot. He wasn't lying. I said "just go ask for her number or something". And he waited around until the end of the night and finally did. She gave it to him. He texted her immediately when we separated from them. They talked back and forth until she went to sleep.
The next day he was telling me how he likes her a lot and can't stop thinking about her. I met up with him and he showed me the long conversations that they had been having over text. Every single day afterwards he would tell me how he was going to make her his wife and they were going to live happily ever after in their Idahome. He would even double text me to talk about her when I left her on seen. On Monday he showed up to her job unannounced but he told me she didn't see him so he just got his coffee and bounced. I was cringing on the inside but he needed to learn on his own. He went to her job again today and the same thing happened. He then told me that he just wanted to make her happy. Then out of the blue I get this text
Him: "Hey bro I think she's mad at me. So I accidentally sent her a photo of herself in that bikini and she asked me why I had it. I told her my phone has been acting up lately and I'll get it fixed and now she won't answer me. I told her I truly am sorry don't be mad at me and she won't believe me and I really like her. I'm kinda scared. Can you tell Jess to talk to her for me?"
I literally laughed out loud when I saw this message. At this moment is when I started to get virgin vibes even though he's been stating the opposite. The conversation continued...
Me: How long ago was that?
Him: 5 minutes ago and she still hasn't opened my message
Me: What EXACTLY did she say?
Him: All she said was "Why do you have that ?"
Me: With the laughing emoji?
Him: With the laughing emoji.
At this point I don't know what advice to give him. I told him to not say anything to her and just to chill. He said that he's playing music now so he can relax because he really likes her. Getting very creepy vibes here. What should I tell him?
I've tried to tell him many times that he needs to have goals and a life. He's in college but I told him as a man, college itself will not satisfy you yet. I've tried many of times to get him on the money chasing bandwagon and the gainz train with my other peers. He doesn't listen. Gaining love from a woman is his primary goal. What do? He's looking to me for advice as his big homie. Blowing up my phone. Not sure what else to say to this man.
TheRedPike 2y ago
Entry level response: https://www.trp.red/p/mattyanon/260
But yeah, creepy indeed.
redhawkes 2 2y ago
This is why scarcity aka neediness is creepy. He thinks he can inspire affection with giving attention for free. Overinvestment/desperation is the most repulsive thing to a woman and for a reason.
The best advice you can give him is "delete her number and forget about her". He's on his own from that point. You don't want betas around you, especially when you go out. They'll pull you down you down with them. He doesn't have the basic social skills, let alone to pass shit tests.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
HE WILL NOT LISTEN.
He's an awful wingman, so find better. Don't go out with him if he's dragging your night down.
That's for you. For him:
Try and work out a message that will help him forward on his journey. What can you say that he'll actually listen to? My guess is "not much", he needs his heart broken a few times before he'll accept any other reality.
i-am-the-prize 2y ago
"he needs his heart broken a few times before he'll accept any other reality."
this. OP just be there for him when he crashes, he may be ready to listen then.
for now, try some leading questions: "do you think women like 'the chase' part of courtship? me too, so why deprive her of that? give her the gift of missing your attention every now and then..."