Alright so I think it's pretty damn well-established that guys in LTRs are getting less sex with whatever girl they happen with in that LTR than they were getting with that same girl in the beginning of the relationship. To a certain extent, this is normal and even desirable. Most guys don't want to be in that fucking two to three times a day just discovering each other phase forever or, maybe more realistically, know it's not plausible. However, the number of guys who feel the sex has declined too much in their LTRs is very high. It's not merely frequency but the type of sex, her enthusiasm, and so on.
Before discovering RP, I was one of those guys. My now ex was down with doing it about twice a week but I think in terms of her genuinely wanting it because she was actually genuinely horny... well once a week or less would have been fine. She also rarely did sexy stuff, gave oral, etc. Anyway one day we were out shopping and I ran into my ex. I don't know if my ex wanted to show herself off but she kept telling me how good I looked, hugged me extra long, and kind of hate stared at my gf. That night gf (who often turned down sex during work week because 'I'm tired' and so on) basically jumped on me, gave oral, and was like herself at the beginning but more dirty lol. Things quickly went back to the same old pattern and then one fucking day, my ex happened to like an article I posted and she's all 'Oh so she thinks your interpretation of the article is so 'perceptive' Can she be any more obvious.' That night... yup.
Whatever we soon broke up for a bunch of pragmatic reasons but it made me think that, even in LTRS, male sexual desire remains high while female desire tends to decline unless it is manipulated or sparked by something external (sounds bad but i think it is true). So what are some ways you act and operate, even if 'manipulatively', to keep her interested...
sicrm 4y ago
if she’s not doing everything she can to keep you, she’s looking to replace you.
KaleidoscopeOk9746 4y ago
I don't think so. Keep in mind we were living together, she was angling for that ring. I ended it because I was moving away for a new job and didn't want to do long distance and also felt we were too different. You might say if she was really angling why didn't she do more and quite frankly i think she figured that being a 6 who put out at least as much as her friends did and wasn't batshit crazy was enough. Which, for many guys, it is.
edjohn88 4y ago
It's a simplification but it holds.. just because you are calling the shots doesn't mean she's all yours. If a girl's gets a hint that you know you're significantly better than her she is angling for fallback options or at least planning for it. RP can make us feel invincible like no girl will choose to let go but they have serious damage control instincts and nobody likes to know they are the one being rejected or let go of.
T00kTheRedPill 4y ago
When she’s asks for your commitment, before saying yes, you need to lay out your expectations, one of which is “When I want sex from you, you never give any push back or bullshit excuses.” That’s how I dealt with it. Now, if she’s truly sick that’s completely understandable.
In over 2.5 years I’ve never had any push back from my LTR. She’s still enthusiastic about it and does whatever I tell her to do. She’s still dripping wet every time. She loves my leadership and pleasing me.
Granted, it takes more than just this, but my point is you have to make your expectations known and understood by her before you give her any commitment.
P.S. Don’t ever cohabitate, marry or impregnate them. Once you do you’ll lose all leverage.
TheRedPillRipper 4y ago
Nope. If you have a solid Exit Strategy; you’ll never lose ALL leverage. For example when my first marriage ended; I worked my ass off to gain, maintain then ultimately share 50-50 custody of my eldest. Exactly the same with my current. We have a toddler and are expecting. I still maintain the same exit strategy. When this relationship ends I have limited exposure. Plan well and you’ll never relinquish all leverage.
DIRECTLY. An instrumental facet to a LTR is good communication. Laying expectations around sex, and ensuring your partner shares similar expectations; is crucial.
For example after our child was born, sex dried up. We had a direct conversation. A year went and whilst the sex improved; I still wasn’t satisfied. We had another conversation. Sex improved dramatically. Even now whilst pregnant we’re still having good sex.
Solid vetting will help mitigate risk. A solid exit strategy will help maintain some leverage.
Godspeed and good luck!
DS_1900 4y ago
In this example I think your continued leadership is doing more for your sex life than any up front agreement (with a woman no less) will ever do.
edjohn88 4y ago
I agree fully. It goes back to don't explicate, demonstrate. There have been many times I thought I was winning with logic and "laying down my ground rules" or whatever, but the instant she felt unappreciated or simply had the mensies in overdrive, the mere fact that I had laid out expectations was a weapon she would bring up and throw back at me. It was all about "male ego" etc. whereas where I had been more subtle and established the expectations by my behaviour she took them to heart with less chance of BS arising.
T00kTheRedPill 4y ago
I absolutely agree, the leadership plays a big part, among other things.
I’d have to say the most influential factor is that I‘ve continued to immerse myself in RP material on a daily basis for the last 5+ years. There’s no way in hell I’m going back to BP ways.
CoyoteMiyamoto 4y ago
This. That's the key.
Reasonable_2025 4y ago
Thank you. I’m there now. But I’m learning my lesson. It’s one of the dumbest things a man can do, especially an RP man.
mairomaster 4y ago
Yeah bro. The problem is you are treating it like a lawyer. Even if she agrees to that and sticks to her promise, that wouldn't make the sex amazing, you know? If the girl is really not feeling it, even if she agrees to fuck under your pressure, it will be like fucking a prostitute, or even a sex doll. You might be alright with such sex but I'm personally not - would rather wank one for free if my girl is not in the mood to have proper sex.
Sure, maybe it worked for you because your girl's libido is relatively high all the time and you get her horny easily, but not all girls are like that. What I'm saying is your suggestion wouldn't work in many cases.
T00kTheRedPill 4y ago
“ Yeah bro. The problem is you are treating it like a lawyer. Even if she agrees to that and sticks to her promise, that wouldn't make the sex amazing, you know? If the girl is really not feeling it, even if she agrees to fuck under your pressure, it will be like fucking a prostitute, or even a sex doll. You might be alright with such sex but I'm personally not - would rather wank one for free if my girl is not in the mood to have proper sex.”
​
You must’ve missed the part where I said “She’s still dripping wet every time.” If a woman is fucking under pressure or duress, that’s not going to happen. She’ll be dry as a bone.
“ Sure, maybe it worked for you because your girl's libido is relatively high all the time and you get her horny easily…”
It takes more than “this one thing” to make “my” girl horny and to keep her that way. Stick around long enough and you’ll figure that out.
”… but not all girls are like that. What I'm saying is your suggestion wouldn't work in many cases.”
That’s some female, absolutist type of crap there. I’ve never, in this comment or any comment said “all,” (and if I did, it was in a contextual manner to make a point). Of course my suggestion wouldn’t work in many, or all cases. That would be like me assuming that because some men are simps or love to suck cock that you do as well because you’re a man. That would be wrong because I know that there are always exceptions;however, I know the exception does not make the rule.
Get out of the basement and get into the sidebar kid.
mairomaster 4y ago
I don't really get what would you finish your otherwise well written comment with some insecure dumb shit like this? You know nothing about me and just make some empty assumptions? Did you get offended or what? Get some frame bruh.
I was fortunate enough to be red pilled by default due to my upbringing and the culture I grew up in. That helped me to achieve a lot in my life in all aspects. So thank you for the suggestion, but I don't live in a basement and I don't need to read all the shit in the sidebar (I'm already familiar with a good part of it).
T00kTheRedPill 4y ago
The tenor of your response completely solidified my thesis of your character.
KaleidoscopeOk9746 4y ago
So you're saying in your view maintaining her sexual desire while living together is basically no chance...
T00kTheRedPill 4y ago
I’m not saying that. I’m saying that when you live together it’s a hell of a lot more difficult to walk away completely when needed.
KaleidoscopeOk9746 4y ago
That's true. LTRs involve a shit ton of tricky trade-offs.
T00kTheRedPill 4y ago
There are no trade offs in my LTR. I don’t compromise, because in a compromise, someone loses and I’m not going to be that someone. She can either be on my program, or she can go find a chump she can run all over.
KaleidoscopeOk9746 4y ago
Is she fine with you fucking other chicks... cause i'd consider that a big one. If so, congrats.
i-am-the-prize 4y ago
"Alright so I think it's pretty damn well-established that guys in LTRs are getting less sex with whatever girl they happen with in that LTR than they were getting with that same girl in the beginning of the relationship"
nope. 2-3x a week during courtship. 4-8x a week now, 20+ yrs later.
how? get ripped, practice dread, have abundance, do NOT use sex for validation, game your LTR, give her the gift of missing you by doing other things without her, and don't actually scoreboard (I stopped actually counting 1.5 yrs ago, but she brought up the average recently, as her poon has been sore)
every day before I leave for work my LTR asks me: "anything I can do to help you today?" / "anything you want me to do for you today?" does yours? Why? because when she knows your will righteously leave, she will righteously stay - Patrice O'Neal.
quad-scientist 4y ago
Women inherently aren't interested in sex with men as much as men are with women.
This is a genetic thing. Thus there's a supply and demand difference.
How do you increase demand? Well you lower the price. Except sex is free... so you make the price negative. Thus this leads to the primary transaction that sex becomes for women. Prostitution.
Specifically this is generally realized in the form of women exchanging sex for privilege. This behavior is so ingrained in society women even prostitute themselves like this when they want more sex than men just from it being a learned behavior. You'll have women who love sex and then demand special treatment from it even when it's them demanding it.
Women want to have sex as much as men when the man is much more valuable than them, or it facilitates some benefit such as being treated like a princess, getting into a relationship, getting married, or just straight up gold digging.
In the middle ages church doctrine made it so that women were allowed power in society if they could justify it by it enabling them to have sex with their husbands. Over this time period women had a reputation for being the more lustful gender by far. There are multiple historic sources on this.
The reason women are less interested in sex than men is as I mentioned it being a genetic thing. Specifically women on average are overwhelmingly programmed to see a man equal to them as lesser and marginalize them. Specifically, women see men as being 2.49x less valuable than an equal woman. This is one of the most extreme sociological biases that exists and has been confirmed by multiple studies from varied disciplines and methodologies over decades.
In dating this presents itself in an interesting way because women know presenting true female nature is a losing strategy as it puts off men. So instead their strategy is to use bait to get what they want and pretend to treat men equally. There's almost always an undertone of their true nature though if you look hard enough.
This can be useful as you experienced because another woman using bait on you will be interpreted much more rationally than how her mind regularly does it.
Simply put to avoid oppression as a man you have to either use other women baiting you, engineer sex as a means to acquire privilege as in the historical example, or have her be using you to either accomplish some goal or be straight up fleecing you.
You can also sort of get around this by finding or promoting her addiction to sex, or by explaining the problem to her and mutually working through it with psychological techniques. This is pretty hit or miss though and inconsistent. You also run into a few genetic deviants where you won't have a problem, but the genes which cause this expression tend to also come with behavioral problems.
All this is simply basic economics based on findings of some of the most well established science that exists. The only weird part is the misdirection applied on top of reality women do.
Personally I just show women the science behind it and use psychological techniques to correct it. Most women won't go for this though, especially the less intelligent ones.
hatefulreason 4y ago
can you expand this into a post ?
this aswell, though i'm pretty sure uncle vaz has something about this
MattyAnon Admin 4y ago
Competition is a wonderful thing.
Never forget this. Compare how she is with a loyal loving boyfriend for years.... vs you getting attention from another woman for a couple of minutes.
This is how she is wired. Run your relationship accordingly.
Yep.
Monogamy is a passion killer, and more for women than for men. Women need competition and jealousy for feel attraction.
Commitment kills attraction. Learn this and learn it well.
Nothing manipulative in the least.... I see other women and they knows it.
Occasionally other women show me a lot of interest, and that's a lot of fun too.
And I will simply not tolerate lack of interest. If she's not passionately interested in me, it will be longer until we see each other again. This has one of two results: either she's more interested because we see each other less often, and I've time for other girls. Or it gets so long that we drift apart. Works for me either way.
The problem, OP, is that you tolerated low interest and low sexuality from your GF. You tolerated it, and so it came to pass.
KaleidoscopeOk9746 4y ago
I mean one time we had a fight about it and she's all 'We do it a lot more than all my friends and i like it, it feels good but you want to do it way more than i want to.' And i think she was probably right. Her interest and sexuality was, relatively speaking, high. Maybe 80th percentile even. But not enough for me. But she's judging it by the people in other percentiles below her.
MattyAnon Admin 4y ago
Female desire decreases in LTRs
Men tend to have higher sexual interest than women.
Conclusion: have multiple FWB.
The major challenge with this is that being in a FWB is very arousing for the woman, and you have to have at least 2. So instead of one bored LTR to keep satisfied you have 2+ horny aroused girls to keep happy. This can get too much for most men.
tetrachromancy 4y ago
Congratulations you’ve discovered something that is noted on the red pill side bar.
It’s called pre-selection
DerekMorganBAU 4y ago
Never experienced this issue because I made my LTRs addicted to orgasms. No I don't mean "cumming" I mean body convulsing eyes rolling back orgasms.
You have to give it to them every time and that addiction will keep growing. That's what truly causes pair bonding.
skint_back 4y ago
Preach, Jesus.
When she’s quivering and can’t muster a word for 30 minutes after sex every single time, she literally becomes your slave.
mairomaster 4y ago
Yeah, if only every girl could get to such orgasms.
MagnumHippo 4y ago
I think AMS said it the best.
Even in a relationship you need to “date” your LTR.
That means keeping her roller coaster going, not stagnating. You don’t set demands but you keep her attracted to you by gaming her even from the comfort of commitment/LTR
Reasonable_2025 4y ago
Currently in a LTR and since my RP awakening, I’ve been thinking that it’s one of the dumbest thing a man can do. You can’t help but to lose some, if not all, of your frame. Her desire plummets meanwhile seeing her all the time makes you wanna tap that. Now I myself can have sex any time. That’s already been established between me and her.
However, other areas are wack. It just doesn’t feel right for me as the man. It’s like most things just died when we moved in together. Everything is my fault now. She’s become nonchalant.
I mean LTR & living in with a woman is a dumb idea for a man.
KaleidoscopeOk9746 4y ago
I feel you on the second paragraph. Do you have some examples... in my case it's just hard to describe but it's a general sense of not being appreciated enough.
scoopzthepoopz 4y ago
You really can't they take you for granted basically no matter what. Women have naturally lower T and lower sex drives than men, they are naturally more conservative when it comes to sex. I think they're gonna hit "satisfied" a lot earlier than you all things being equal. I don't know I really can only speculate.
KaleidoscopeOk9746 4y ago
From what I can tell, it seems that only about 20 percent of single women (not in a relationship, no friends with benefits or one nighters) masturbate more than once a week. A lot of them seem to only masturbate a couple times a month. Compare this to the average guy who is not fucking anyone. So yeah I do think that's a big natural barrier to overcome.
scoopzthepoopz 4y ago
Well that puts in perspective when my old fwb told me she masturbated via text a few months back. I took it as a green light, but that was met with resistance. It would make sense that to her that was like a form of significant "foreplay", hinting at where things might go possibly weeks in the future, whereas for me it's uhhh Tuesday.
extraterrestial 4y ago
Ive never in my life had a gf that turned down sex even once. Been in several LTRs for a total of 15 years.
My guess is that I really learn how to please them, I can make them cum with my fingers, tongue and dick. And I always keep it interesting, locations, toys and fantasies.
I'm very intuitive, they never need to tell me what they like, I always sense it, can be anything from spanking, choking, or being treated like a little girl.
I'm average in size so nothing special there.
gcaa99 4y ago
Could you develop the location part?
extraterrestial 4y ago
I mean not always the bed. Places like couch, kitchen, in the woods, at the cinema, backseat of car and so on.
gcaa99 4y ago
I've fucked my main fwb everywhere I could, including all the places you mentioned. Starting to run out of ideas lol Thanks for the answer, just looking for some inspiration
makeadolfgreatagain 4y ago
It boils down to one thing - women want a man who is wanted by other women. That is how you keep her interested. Patrice O Neal said it best in this video.
​
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KzCfIYArmQ
i-am-the-prize 4y ago
I've shown my 3 sons this video so many times. we effing love it.
"because if i lose my ability to catch fish.. you not gonna find me sexy no more... so you gotta smell fish on me, so that you know i can catch fish, so you can ACT RIGHT."
PimpinLikeIceberg 4y ago
Glad you understood it this way.
Yes, you need to stay attractive for other girls to keep your girl attracted. Style, physique, game...you already know.
I do even better : I talk to girls when she's with me. Just like random stuff giving compliments or whatever. And since she's beside me (preselection) the reactions are good and she thinks in her little mind : "oh my man is so hot. Look how these bitches want him" Boom ;)
Keep your style tight too. I peacock a lot when out with my girl and bitches check me out. My girl notices and tells me playfully ;)
Move smart buddy !
TheSunshineMan 4y ago
Does she ever complain about you giving all this attention to other women?
edjohn88 4y ago
She should.. it's called shit tests 101. Welcome it and learn to grin and let them glide past you.
PimpinLikeIceberg 4y ago
She never does cause when we met I cold approached her in the subway Lmao She knows i'm a very social person. And...She knows she can't tell me what to do. I do whataver the fuck I want. I built the LTR on that !
mrfatcat123 4y ago
How do you like to peacock?
PimpinLikeIceberg 4y ago
I live in Paris so style is in the DNA here. Basically you can wear whatever the fuck you want.
I'm into streetwear and flashy items !
mabden 4y ago
>unless it is manipulated or sparked by something external
Kitty Kats Kompete when dread is applied.
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Efficient_Film_149 4y ago
The best way to keep a bitch right is to treat her like a bitch
KaleidoscopeOk9746 4y ago
This works fine with dating app girls who are kind of looking for a jerk (and as we know here those types of girls exist). It's harder when you actually love and respect a girl. This is why LTRs are frigging tricky.
edjohn88 4y ago
Listen to Patrice and take what you will from him, but maintaining that 10% disgust for your own girl is the only way to keep her off the pedestal in your perception. We are men.. we have no problem developing googly eyes for a girl. It's her flaws that we have to remind ourselves of to keep a balanced mindset.
mwcmu452 4y ago
This reminds of a Russell Brand story where he developed an obsession with some Hollywood woman, can’t remember who she is. The guy has probably fucked thousands of women and still developed “onietis” for this chick. He went to a therapist to help cure his unhealthy obsession or Oneitis as we call it here. The therapist suggested he attached a picture of a fat woman’s body to his Oneitis’s face, lol.
bajafishtaco 4y ago
you gotta work at it.... both of you need to keep active and keep stress down. My last ltr had a stressful job and so do i. The sex went to like once to twice a week and i was okay with that because my libido was shot from stress (she actually initiated a bit more than i did). Case and point self care is important for both of you and if you dont prioritize it will mess with your sex life especially as you get older.