So, I have the same questions. I am a 28 year old loser.
I grew up without a dad. I lack any good strong figures in my family or friends. I have had depression since I was 13. I’ve been dealing with emptiness my whole life, I feel lonely, and it makes me unproductive. I was a manipulative child/ boy.
I don't like hanging out with people, playing video games or watching movies. I never liked these hobbies or activities.
I lack the confidence and motivation to make me successful. I can do things like clean my room and hit the gym six times a week, but career wise I can't make progress. I can't decide what I want to do with my life or what book I want to read.
I always try to imitate other people's personality or movie/ tv show characters personality. I think this is because I am not sure of the kind of personality I want. Why am I so easily influenced by others? I get the senses of fashion, mindset etc from others and I value them more than mine. I don’t think I have a personality. My personality it’s based on others personality.
Pre-University, I worked in a technical and operational role at a funeral home.
I am very curious, analytical and I also have great communication skills and interpersonal skills and I think I am capable of outlining and presenting complex issues in a simple manner. I work best under pressure and on a deadline basis. I am talkative, high energy and I tend to prefer a high pressure, competitive, environment. I prefer short-term, strategic thinking, and I enjoy qualitative stuff like writing and talking. My main strengths are that I have good people skills (networking / communicating), and I'm generally good at learning things and problem-solving. I love research. Honestly, if I find a topic that I like, there is no stopping me from finding out everything I can about it. When problems or errors come along I am working on them until it is solved. I am a fixer, not an artist
What should I do? How do I improve my life? What's wrong with me? How to deal with the chronic feeling of emptiness?
CoyoteMiyamoto 5y ago
I remember this post from last week. I urge you to find a therapist. Your problems don't start with game and having a mission. You need to address deeper issues first. I think once you're feeling better things will fall into place.
I mean you're saying you feel empty and that you're unproductive, and then a couple of paragraphs later you say you're preferring high pressure and competitive environments and that you have great interpersonal skills. How does that work? This whole post contradicts itself.
Andorli 5y ago
Dude has BPD, and has various schemas that are good at various things. Its a hell to live with this for a man.
papunigga031 5y ago
I’ve been seeing you call out bullshit in these posts and you’re spot on. Just wanted to give kudos
CoyoteMiyamoto 5y ago
Appreciated brother. I don't want to make it look dramatic but, as you've mentioned, I've noticed some dudes who keep posting the same stuff over and over. If a brother needs help, we're here. There's no need to be ashamed of it.
319Skew 5y ago
Ditto
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papunigga031 5y ago
Depressed/empty is not a normal standard of living for men. There’s something behind this state. You need to listen to your gut.
What exactly about your current life fulfills you? You said you feel empty, that means something has to change.
That said, your problems are your problems and there isn’t enough info here on what the cause is. Do some introspection and find that out for yourself.
papunigga031 5y ago
You said “I feel lonely” but then two sentences later said “I don’t like hanging out with people.”
Which is it?
Seems like you’re overthinking shit, and you’re overthinking is keeping you in the same place. You can’t lift your way out of loneliness.
If you’re lonely go out and hang out with people. They aren’t that bad.
bachbozo 5y ago
5g’s of mushrooms on an empty stomach in nature
Buteyko Breathing Method
Relinquishing desire for your true intentions
A good road trip
Rendering meaning through selflessness
Tai Chi
Bach’s Cello Suites
Semen Retention
Paleo/Carnivore
ctaymane 5y ago
Genuinely curious about the suggestion for listening to Bach’s cello suites?
bachbozo 5y ago
Bach is the Master.
His genius harmonies navigating melody and chaos have yet to be consistently replicated in 300 years. He is closest thing to a sonic portal with the universe’s singularity from my and many other’s perspective; there is no avoiding the truth when Bach has pierced your soul.
The cello produces the closest frequency to the human voice and resonates deeper than any instrument IMO. The Cello Suites are 38 spiritually perplexing and awe inspiring movements that could very well be the most dynamic collection of work ever assembled. From the fury of D Minor Courante to heartbreak of D Major Sarabande; it inspires like no other.
Here is a happy tune for a beautiful Summer evening: https://youtu.be/ZM9_Xfi8Jjo
SoloSilk 5y ago
Are you the same person who posted a few years ago about tripping on lsd and discovering Bach near a tree? For some reason reading this paragraph caused this completely random memory to surface
RedLifts 5y ago
This guy is going to need to make some changes before having 5g of shrooms
bachbozo 5y ago
Let him endure and internalize the flaws of his perception
He will suffer, but the ends justify the means
RedLifts 5y ago
The ends absolutely justify the means, however it’s a dangerous game that could end in disaster if the suffering throughout the trip is unbearable. I’m an advocate for psychedelics, especially mushrooms, however in his case would recommend at least an experienced trip sitter.
bachbozo 5y ago
Fair enough. I’m just a ruthless fucker when it comes to psychedelics - suffering is beneficial in my eyes.
I’d even go as far to say 14g completely alone is what it takes for men like me to see “God”- all or nothing
RedLifts 5y ago
Haha thats admirable but I don’t see how it would benefit him right now. I plan on doing 5gs once I have my own space, max I’ve done is 4g with a friend
Unbannable_1721 5y ago
Two words: Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
It will change your fucking life and turn you into an alpha. Go find a gym and go to class.
intelligentlemanager 5y ago
From your bottom paragraph I conclude that you should consider becoming an IT consultant. Like business analyst, it architect or project manager. I think you could thrive in that environment - lots of communication and deep analysis
Yasfs 5y ago
Read the Holy Quran
Andorli 5y ago
You either have bpd, cptsd or something along those lines. The quiet variety.
scf7446 5y ago
Lower your standards and get yourself out of a victim mentality.
What is the point of calling yourself a loser, other than to make yourself feel worse? It's hard to respect someone who doesn't respect themselves, so your life is guaranteed not to change with this negative attitude.
You survived so far at 28, have a paying job, and have a standard of intelligence, enough to be reflective and analytical about yourself. You're also obviously high in openness as well, and that whole 'can't figure out what you want to do' is a gift, not a curse. Most people never even question what they should be doing in life, they simply follow the crowd or stumble into opportunity. You need to see that this trait that you view as a weakness, can actually be a great skill set. To drive the point home, you at the very least acknowledge the imperfections in your life and your strengths, I think once you remove the judgment out of your analysis, you can look at your flaws objectively and move forward.
Sorry to hear that you grew up without a dad, but I want to counter that with a question. Do you think most men in life live with a strong role model? Is that what you see when you look around at the people around you? Personally I'd like to argue that finding a strong mentor is the exception, not the norm.
You can either think about your failures and what could have been, or you can accept your present situation in a neutral light, without any egotism or negativity and live your life in the present, building up to something that you find worthwhile.
You are doing well in life, read on the internet and look at how the rest of the world lives. Feel some gratitude in your life, then aim towards a higher goal that is meaningful to you.