I'm 34 and largely successful - I have a solid career, own my own house, stay fit and have hobbies for personal development. Naturally, friends and family see this and the women among them, always the women, will say "it's time...get married and have kids". I've noticed that men are agreeable and support marriage only if they're in the presence of their significant other (for obvious reasons) but if they're alone, say we're having a guys night out, the truth comes out - "don't do it bro" - and they're always envious of my living situation and how I have free reign over my property and can spend my time working on my goals without any interference.
Over and over again - "get married, have kids". I understand from a woman's perspective, marriage is an advantage and something they can exploit over the long term but I see no benefit, as a successful man (not only financially but one that has mastered his domain and is confident in his abilities), to wed anyone.
"Get married, have kids." - I don't even have a wife and I'm being incessantly nagged.
I've noticed a few of society's (or is it just women) takes on why a man can't, shouldn't and must not remain a bachelor:
- A man cannot be, under any circumstance, a true success without a wife
- He's alone, he must be sad
- He's alone, there must be something wrong with him
- This lone wolf is a threat to the muzzle I worked so hard to put on my boyfriend/husband
The girlfriends and wives seem to look down on me while the men admire my independence. I wouldn't be surprised if overtime, as my friends get into long-term relationships, move in together and/or get married, distance themselves from me - I see it coming and it's fine but I'll always be there for them if they need me.
So, what's an appropriate response to the pressures of marriage when you know very well it isn't for you?
[deleted] 2y ago
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deeplydisturbed 2y ago
People close to me have ocassionally commented on, or questioned me about marriage. I say the same thing every time. Different versions of one or more of the following:
"I respect women too much to try to own one like that"
or
"If the women in my life have taught me anything it is that marriage is like slavery for women. Why would I do such a thing to someone I love?"
or
"Do you not like our relationship? Why would you want to make such a drastic change?"
or
" I love my woman too much to ruin her life like that"
You get the idea. Use their own rhetoric against them and they have no defense. It works 100% of the time.
[deleted] 2y ago
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deeplydisturbed 2y ago
Well, FINE. So your response is more clever and pithier.
But mine has more words. So HA!
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