I have a friend who I've know since elementary school who moved to a different state over a decade ago but we still speak on a regular basis. As I've gotten older I've noticed he only talks about himself. He will randomly text me about something he's accomplished like how much he's getting on his tax return/how much money he just spent on shoes/a new girl he just fucked, etc. I actually care about him so I'm genuinely interested whenever he talks about his life.
The problem is whenever I speak about myself he straight up ghosts me. We can be having an hour long conversation on the phone and as soon as I say something about my personal life he has to go or doesn't text back. Then the next time he hits me up he will start talking about himself again as if nothing happened.
I make substantially more money than him and have my own place while he still lives at home with his mom so I'm not sure if it's just insecurity. I never brag or talk down to him so I don't think that's it. He's told me in the past that girls he's dated have broken up with him because they say he always brags about himself so I know i'm not the only one who's noticed this.
I'm trying to decide if it's worth it continuing my friendship with him. I recently moved across the country so he's really the only person I speak to. I've tried bringing this up with him and he usually just laughs it off or pretends to be interested in talking about anything other than himself for like five minutes before reverting back to bragging. I feel like the only reason I still talk to him is because I haven't made any other friends as of late. How do I know when it's time to end a friendship ?
carnold03 about a week ago
Your friendship with this guy ended over a decade ago. You're both adults who don't spend any face time with each other, so he's functionally declined to a longtime acquaintance which frankly shouldn't warrant such concern. Frankly, it reads like the actual problem is that you only have one person you consider a friend. Make yourself available to make new acquaintances. Stop expecting more from this guy than he's willing to offer.
The next time you two talk about women, consider suggesting that he invest in a reliable ready reference he can pick up and study to better prepare himself for engaging the opposite sex. I'd suggest that he get himself a copy of Doc Love's "The System: The Dating Dictionary". The guy writes a weekly advice column that's mirrored on several sites and runs a podcast. While his media is a bit pricey, it's well worth the investment, but I would also suggest you review his advice column to decide if his view on dating and relationships is aligned with what you aspire for yourself and think your friend should be aiming for. If you've already found you'd like to suggest he read his book, but find money might be an issue for him, he should be able to find copies through torrent sites, but I won't say where anyone should start on that endeavor.
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