I've had a few instances in the past few months with potential plates which seems to be a pattern of me not escalating right/getting the wrong "read" on the situation. I know 2 for sure (maybe 3) broke because I didn't "strike while the iron was hot". During the same time, I laid pipe with 2 or 3 other new prospects, so it wasn't that my game was off. It comes down to timing and vibe + me not being able to read and act on signals - this is more of a question on what I missed:
Girl #1 (27, Pakistani HB8): second date, during lockdown, very restricted where we could go and what we could do. Had coffee date, hang out, kino, she was qualifying to me a lot, but we haven't gotten physical. While dropping her home, early I might add, since we have a dicey covid situation and I didnt want to be out after 10pm. In the car, she steers conversation towards laying in bed with someone and the feeling of someone next to you. I kept it non chalant, didn't actually have logistics to create an opportunity for sexy times. Eventually the conversation peters down, I was hoping for an invite to her place but, by then, her ASD had kicked in. Now that think about it, I should've leaned over for a kiss and makeout session. (facepalm) - she kinda drifted away after that night.
Girl #2 (27, Japanese HB9): first date, second meet. we go to my brothers bachelor pad which was empty, after a coffee date. she is completely in my frame, enjoying the views and the moment (giggly with excitement). heavy kino leads to making out. she seems shy, demure, I pull back a bit. no ASD, she's really pulling in... logistics get fucked again, bro had to come back home early. I didn't act needy or desperate but I also didn't go in "for the kill" (had I wanted, I could've arranged alternate logistics, but didn't feel I had to... thinking "another day, another escalation"). Next day, she ghosts and is gone forever.
In both instances, looking back, I should've sealed the deal and my "read" was off. Thinking they're both asians and a bit more conservative, and the logistical issues, didn't feel it would be "right" to escalate to sex too quick and that the follow up opportunity would present itself sooner rather than later. In both cases, I was dead wrong and missed out on quality plates.
What am I missing here? I did seal the deal with 4 other girls in the same time frame, aged between 21-24. Maybe too much player vibe (works with younger chicks with low ASD)?
Tl;Dr: missed opportunities with 2 high quality potential plates - got to the point where sexual tension was sky high, didn't close the deal, they disappeared / immediately lost interest. Logistics and my lack of escalation got in the way.
[deleted]
badbadman 3y ago
IT's all a matter of practice. Happens to the best of us. The best answer is to look at what you did and try it out next time. Think of it like game footage and you're an athlete here ya dropped the ball, thats all.
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 3y ago
You already know where you went wrong. You said it yourself: lack of escalation.
You learned something almost all of us learn the hard way: it's better to try and get rejected, than to allow the opportunity to pass untried and wonder what might have been.
I'd advise you to learn from this, but don't dwell on it too much.