TLDR in bold
29 yo dude, live next to 21 yo girl for the past few months. Long time family friend, we saw each other a lot and hung out a bit, but I was (temporarily) smart enough not to push anything given how close our families are. Eventually slipped and once the cat was out of the bag we had a FWB situation for a month or so.
She’d joke about “we ‘ll probably end up getting married” and similar things - kidding but enough to get my gears turning about how this wasn’t a great idea. I started getting more distant, shorter with my answers, less available, etc. Our chemistry tanked and when I did try to initiate I’d get a convenient excuse. I got a “u up” one night and turned that down because I wanted to have some level of self respect.
I knew it was dumb to keep the games going, but I did like her and it was fun until we got weird with each other. When I told her how I felt she said she was acting distant as well, but didn’t like how I made her feel, our age gap, and our family situation. I got a predictable lets be friends.
We didn’t talk outside of a hello or head nod after this until like 2 weeks ago. At first it was a relevant text - but now I’m getting texts almost daily about random things - she’s going out of her way to make conversation. I've not been responding thus far.
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My mistakes were engaging to begin with (lack of abundance) when I knew it was a messy situation, putting too much thought in what she was saying, and thinking I could sit down and talk it out (losing frame). I’m partially venting, and partially looking for input on how to move forward (yes I’ve banged other girls sense, no I don’t have total abundance)
I’m trying to think of a final outcome and work backwards but nothing is ideal:
- Something serious: She went AWALT in the downtime, we both hooked up w/ mutual contacts , not realistic.
- Plate: lost my frame last time, not sure this is realistic..
- Friend: Genuinely like the girl but I don’t believe this is a thing.
- Nothing: The obvious answer, but difficult given we see each other daily. In a way actively ignoring her or downplaying the convo keeps her stuck in my mind and writing shit like this….
[deleted] 3y ago
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Typo-MAGAshiv 1 3y ago
The fact that you wrote so much about her shows that either a) you have one-itis or worse yet, b) you're in LoOoOoVe.
Your title/subject/whatever it's called here says "can't logistically next". That's garbage. You can next! a woman no matter what, barring being married to her.
It might be difficult to avoid her, but you can certainly next! her right the fuck away, and I'd advise that you do so.
If she sees you with a new woman, pre-selection will likely kick in and she'll find herself wanting you again. I'd advise against allowing her back in. She's already showed she can't be counted on.