TLDR in bold
29 yo dude, live next to 21 yo girl for the past few months. Long time family friend, we saw each other a lot and hung out a bit, but I was (temporarily) smart enough not to push anything given how close our families are. Eventually slipped and once the cat was out of the bag we had a FWB situation for a month or so.
She’d joke about “we ‘ll probably end up getting married” and similar things - kidding but enough to get my gears turning about how this wasn’t a great idea. I started getting more distant, shorter with my answers, less available, etc. Our chemistry tanked and when I did try to initiate I’d get a convenient excuse. I got a “u up” one night and turned that down because I wanted to have some level of self respect.
I knew it was dumb to keep the games going, but I did like her and it was fun until we got weird with each other. When I told her how I felt she said she was acting distant as well, but didn’t like how I made her feel, our age gap, and our family situation. I got a predictable lets be friends.
We didn’t talk outside of a hello or head nod after this until like 2 weeks ago. At first it was a relevant text - but now I’m getting texts almost daily about random things - she’s going out of her way to make conversation. I've not been responding thus far.
My mistakes were engaging to begin with (lack of abundance) when I knew it was a messy situation, putting too much thought in what she was saying, and thinking I could sit down and talk it out (losing frame). I’m partially venting, and partially looking for input on how to move forward (yes I’ve banged other girls sense, no I don’t have total abundance)
I’m trying to think of a final outcome and work backwards but nothing is ideal:
- Something serious: She went AWALT in the downtime, we both hooked up w/ mutual contacts , not realistic.
- Plate: lost my frame last time, not sure this is realistic..
- Friend: Genuinely like the girl but I don’t believe this is a thing.
- Nothing: The obvious answer, but difficult given we see each other daily. In a way actively ignoring her or downplaying the convo keeps her stuck in my mind and writing shit like this….