I am writing a book on inner game and I am struggling with how to define "alpha male." This is what I have now and I was wondering what y'all thought:
You have probably heard a million times that women are attracted to the “alpha male.” But who is this “alpha male?” And what do you need to do to become one? The “alpha male” has become one of the most abused and misunderstood concepts in modern society, with almost every meathead bro having a different definition of what an alpha male is, which is why most people roll their eyes the moment they hear the term. To many, the term “alpha male” evokes an image of a loud, obnoxious, try-hard douchebag full of steroids and Budweiser starting fights with random guys. But that is not what the alpha male is.
The “alpha male” is not a real person. No living, breathing human has ever been the perfect alpha male for a short time, much less for an extended period of instead. Instead, the alpha male is an idealized archetype. The archetypal alpha male is all powerful, he can do anything he wants, he owns all the resources of the tribe, he can defeat any challenge, everybody loves and fears him, everybody obeys him, and he never feels fear or anxiety. Our subconscious mind evolved to recognize this archetype and classify real people as “alpha males” only to the degree they resemble this archetype. But as you can imagine, all real men, including the most powerful kings, dictators, athletes, and celebrities fall far short of this ideal. The closest thing to the archetypal alpha male is God, which is why it has become such a powerful and popular idea, whether or not he actually exists.
This means, unfortunately, that women are never truly satisfied. Women don’t want just a man who is “strong,” they want a man who is infinitely strong. They do not want a man with some resources, they want a man with all the resources. They do not want a pretty important guy, they want the most important guy in the world. At the same time, women need to be accepted by the alpha male, so they “settle” for the closest thing to an alpha male they can get. I am not trying to say that all women are disloyal and will jump to the next best thing the moment they can get it - human psychology is complicated and there are many other emotions that motivate women to be attracted to and stay with a man. That said, the desire for the archetypal alpha exists in the human psyche and is extremely powerful. And oftentimes when you don’t understand what is going on in your relationship, you can figure it out by going back to these fundamental emotions.
Women have different preferences when it comes to men, so some women may place more or less weight on looks, others may place more or less weight on money, and yet others may place more or less weight on intelligence. Other women may overlay additional desires and preferences onto their basic wiring, so a particular woman might want a man who shares her interests, is of the same ethnic/racial group as her, has a certain career/financial situation, or dresses/looks a certain way. But no matter what the woman’s idiosyncracies are, all women are wired with a basic attraction to the archetypal alpha. No woman WANTS a poor, short, ugly guy and if everything were equal, she will almost always choose the guy closer to the archetypal alpha.
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cesiw 3y ago
You can incorporate this concept on your book. That's why I write this.
It is unfortunate that Mystery went famous, due to being in contact with the powerful US TV media, because after Mystery, everybody tough that he represented all of PUA.
He was just one branch of PUA, from one city. PUA was made of groups of people from all around the world, and most groups were cancelled away from Internet, so a lot of stuff is lost and forgotten, except things like Mystery stuff.
The concept of alpha male is one of the things where Mystery was weak, and even the Reddit RP has totally wrong.
For that reason, this is important:
Alpha male is the label put by PUAs over the men that women are attracted to. What defines alpha are the results that he gets: sex, and genuine desire from women.
That's terribly important: results. The experimental reality.
What is true is only what works. You can have a lot of theory, and tricks, and methods, but you cannot take any of that as "the truth", unless it passes the ultimate test: getting results. Actual sex.
That concept is important, because a lot of PUAs got enamored with beliefs, "methods", trickery, and a lot of stuff which they tried again and again, and even when all that stuff failed to deliver results, they got trapped on the religion of believing it, regardless of the results.
There was a time where AMOGing other guys was all the rage, and PUAs developed a lot of techniques to AMOG other dudes. Most of it produced nothing, or ended on fights, being detained by the police, making enemies for no reason, or getting a thug fame, but no sex. Meanwhile one PUA was AMOGing the other dudes, another PUA was actually picking the girls, and getting all the action. He was the one doing the right thing.
The point of this, is that it is necessary to have an open mind, so you can adapt, learn, and perfect yourself. You have to look at what actually works.
-A huge problem with defining "alpha" by traits, like TRP reddit does, it that first, it is wrong. For every alpha trait you can list, you can find an alpha male with the opposite trait, that gets sex 24/7.
-Another problem is that by defining what is an alpha, you turn blind to learning. You cease to evolve, and to discover what is actually alpha. You believe that you know the final answer, and you close yourself to the truth. Alpha are the results.
-Also there is the issue with all the people that attempts to distort, and discredit RP, by counter arguing "what is alpha". Feminists, want to tell to you what is alpha "so you learn". The blue pill argues that alpha "is a biological term from wolves that you do not understand", so they mud the argument to the blue pill favor.
-It is pointless to argue what is alpha, if alphas exist, or what "should" be alpha. Any definition that is not based on results, has that problem: it can be argued about and distorted.
There is only one solution for it: Does that concept of alpha works? Does it actually result in sex? If it does, that's the right concept of alpha. No sex, then is wrong.
The concept of alpha has a purpose: to label the men from which the PUA has to learn.
Does alpha males exist? Of course. Why? By definition. Some men are sexually more successful than other men. BY DEFINITION, they are the alphas.
How do you identify an alpha? By his RESULTS. Does he gets sex consistently? Can you actually verify that he gets the sex? You cannot claim that Trump is an alpha, unless you can check that he gets sex consistently. If you cannot verify that, you cannot claim that he's an alpha. It is pointless to argue, if you cannot verify.
We only care about who's alpha, to LEARN from him. To get results. If we cannot learn from him, his alpha status is IRRELEVANT.
Do XXX trait is alpha? NO. The trait is not "alpha", results are. Let's take a trait like "leadership". Is a leader an alpha? NO. Plenty of leaders are betas. Bill Gates is a leader, is one of the richest men in the world, but he's totally cucked by Melinda Gates. A lot of alphas also are leaders, but that's a correlated trait. Correlated means that you can say on a lose way, that alphas tend to be leaders, but being a leader does not guarantees to be an alpha.
You can spend a decade of your life trying to be a leader, and achieve it, but then you still get no sex, because, you didn't learnt to deal with women.
That's a common trap created by the RP definition of alpha by the list of "alpha traits". It "tries to define" what is alpha, instead of using the PUA concept: an alpha is defined by results. Alpha is a man you can learn from. WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS ALPHA. We learn from alphas. That's why we created the concept of alpha.
That does not means that you cannot make a list of correlated traits, because you need to know what you can imitate from an alpha. What you can copy. What to think about. What to try. What to subject to experimentation.
But you have to always be conscious that you are learning. You do not have the final answer.
You have to be aware that correlation is not causation.
Women knows it at an unconscious level. A woman cannot know magically if you “are alpha”, so women act by instinct. The female instinct is prepared to test for your alphaness, but her instinct also knows that correlation is not causation, and that’s why she tests your alpha status continuously.
Because the list of traits are just correlated, you have to always question, what the deeper meaning of alpha traits is. What causes a man to naturally hold alpha traits. That’s what you have to pursue: the deeper causes, not the traits.
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