Hey guys. Nice to meet many of you. I'm new to the group. I'm not much for lengthy introductions so excuse me. I am going to just get to the point as quickly as possible.

For the last two years my life has been in complete disarray. I believe right now I am doing the best I can but I believe " the best you can" doesn't necessarily mean its the right thing.

In short I am a loser.

I live with my aunt and I am in my 30's

I have spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what online business I should start and what is my purpose here on this planet. What is the highest value that I can give? What is the thing I can specialize in?

I looked at Joe Rogan, David Goggins and so many others. Like them or hate them, for better or worse they seem to be men who have found their calling and are answering to it.

I have never been lazy. I worked my ass off but, in my opinion, to build what someone else had and not anything significant of my own.

This pandemic was a gift and a curse in the sense of it has answered the age old question I have asked myself for a while:

What would I do if I had money, resources and time to start a business?

I got laid off from my security guard job and then shortly after I got sick with, through seeing multiple doctors, has resulted in a diagnoses of acid reflux and GERD.

I experienced shortness of breath and have had to go completely vegan.

I have a whole bunch of gym equipment where I live and I have experience pain trying to lift or do a pull-up. Chest pains that is.

I don't know what caused it. Whether it was stress and anxiety or the fasting regimen that I was on to try and boost my immune system once the lock-downs occurred. Or maybe it was also the stress of being laid off. It could all the factors I mentioned above combined together for all I know.

I decided to put those weekly unemployment checks to good use.

I have been working for 4 months to build this recruiting business with the help of these two mentors I met online who haven't charged me a lot of money for it and have been pretty helpful.

It hasn't been easy to say the least. I have gotten mainly rejections from people I try and pitch my offer to whether a cold call or via text.

I spend most of my days now researching CEO's, HR directors looking up companies as well as there nearby competitors and reaching out to them. I probably send out 600 emails a week and do about 100 cold-calls a week.

I have gotten some recent leads and people who are interested in working with me. One guy wanted to work with me but then he saw something in my contract he was uncomfortable with so he ghosted me. This week I am trying to go after new prospects.

I have dreamed about starting a successful business online ever since i was 19. I have been reassured that if I apply the right strategies, work hard and stay consistent then I will see success.

My identity is tied to it and, if successful, I see it as my way out of this shitty neighborhood and household.

I did pick-up artistry and got laid a couple of times from it. My lack of getting my act together and my failure to start my successful phone repair business that I was starting at the time got in the way of me wanting to pursue women further.

I was working at the time and trying to run my business after hours when I got home from work. I would go out on the weekends and practice game with some buddies at the time. My self esteem since then has been crushed ever since the failing of my last business dealing and I haven't pursued friendship, women or any type of fun ever since this has happened.

After I failed at my phone business I then went to go work retail and was mean to a lot of the women there that were attracted to me at work. I have probably gone 2 years without sex.

Long story less long...

If you read this far. Thank you. I appreciate you.

In the future when I change, I'll have a different opinion about myself, but as it stands now I have no reproductive value. I am not really worth much to myself and those around me. It is a miracle i'm not homeless. This is not me trying to put myself down. I'm just telling it how it is.

I feel like nothing unless I generate income and move into my own house and start the business I want to start. I have thought of starting a podcast nut I don't know what I would talk about or make YouTube content about. I have been looking to areas graphic art design, video editing, motion graphics and writing as areas of interest.

The recruiting business is not my ideal passion but its what I can do right now and if I am successful I can use it to build the peace of mind I want to build and finance the projects I really want to get into.

I picked up a pencil a couple weeks ago and started drawing but put it down because of my financial worries. My lack of starting a successful fun business that can gain some traction has put a damper on my desire to be artistic.

I got desperate and considered prostitutes at on point but I didn't want to get in trouble and end up broke. So now since I can't lift, have Acid Reflux/GERD, and am spending the money I would be spending on protein and carbs for lifting into email campaigns and lead generation, I decided to pursue meditation and yoga as well as writing in a journal entry about questions I have about my life.

Meditation helps up until a point. If you're broke it and suffering because of it you have to fix the problem at the source.

This problem has always been the boogeyman in the closet that I could never get rid of.

I have tried fasting for 40 days in 2017. I have tried ayahuasca, It didn't help. I thought it would be my moment of awakening but it wasn't.


If you went through what I am going through and came out the other end of it all the better what helped you endure through the hard times in moments when you didn't think you would make it out?

How did you handle when you thought of giving up a business you were trying to start and things were going slow?

Some people have told me I should still try and game even though I am a loser now if I am working towards something. I just can't find the strength to do it. I can't take action to do game if my money and my mental head-space isn't right. Should I just ignore everything else and tunnel vision on my endgame?

If you did go through the same thing I wen through how did you deal with the loneliness and occasional longing for companionship?

How did you find the thing you most enjoyed doing and how did you mange to turn it into a business? What path can suggest to men who are going through the same thing to searching within themselves and finding their calling?