You've made a mess by being in love with a girl you're crushing over. You've put all your hopes, dreams, happiness and wishes into this one chick, and you wonder why she's flaking on you? It's because you're putting all of that pressure onto her. She's young and pretty and wants to have fun. She would totally be willing to have fun, but you've put her on a pedestal. You expect things from her, and she's not liking the way you cling. She can have meaningless hookups with hot guys who won't pressure her into dating, and she was willing to extend the same opportunity to you, but you blew it.

You got oneitis. You made the woman your mission and your goal, instead of letting her be the fun opportunity that she could have been. You got too heavy on her and she bolted. You know that song from the 80s that makes you want to stab your ears - "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"? Well, that song holds true to the modern hot chick - they just want to have fun and keep things lite and casual. When they want to settle down, they will throw hints out to you - if you've worked on yourself and you have enough to offer them and keep them interested.

So here you are, sad, alone and wondering how you can patch things up with this perfect unicorn that has stolen your heart. Man up, dude. You let yourself get stupid over a girl and this is the price. We guys fall in love a lot easier than they do, so you have to keep your guard up and not give out more than you receive - or this happens. Do you like the way this feels? Do you want to feel like this over and over again? If you don't wise up and learn to play the game, this will be your fate. You're the prize. There are millions of pretty, fun girls out there who will give you a shot, but you can't blow it and go full tactical love nuke on them, or you will lose them too. Good luck. Pick yourself up, collect your nuts from her purse and move on.

Your mistakes:

• You were texting way too much. There is a reason why you have a mouth.

• You told her your feelings first

• You didn't kiss her (just a minor mistake, if she likes you she'll tolerate it)

• You apologized for a joke

• Oneitis

My advice for the meetup: Don't come across as you were sorry for something. You shouldn't be. And stop thinking that much about her. Get some hobbies.

Every time I read shit like this I'm just so glad I'm not in college anymore, because I was this tool in college.

Don't be a tool bro. 1) Your first girl you ever asked out? theres a 100% chance she is not great for you long term 2) Follow the escalation ladder. You can find it on here. Referring to random shit as KINO and then not actually following the ladder properly will always fuck you up. 3) Whats done is done man. If you can't get a second date, don't fret it. Stop texting so much inbetween dates. TEXTING IS JUST FOR LOGISTICS and to SECURE the first date. You already had that.

Dude, no offense but there is like a 70% chance she's going to rip your heart out because she is just not that into you now.

After she does that you need to pick up the pieces and come back here.

People are attracted to independent and confident people, not needy and self-consious people.

So the only way I could see you getting another date from her is to back off for a while.

Edit: a good example is trying to pet a stray cat. You be in the area, have something appealing for it, and you have a chance that the cat will come to you. Chasing the cat around like a mad man never works. So back off a bit lennie.

A lot of the answers here are along the same lines and I understand it is not the answer you want to hear, but it is the answer you need to hear.

Ok, you grew a pair, which was good, then you threw all that "nut up or shut up" away.

DON'T TELL WOMEN YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH THEM. IT ONLY LEADS TO BAD THINGS. WOMEN ARE SADISTIC. WOMEN ARE EVIL. IF YOU LAY YOUR HEART IN FRONT OF ONE, SHE WILL STOMP IT FLAT. /rant

Ok. Study for your fucking exams. Those are going to be more valuable to you in the long run than some chick. As others have said, go read the sidebar on /r/TheRedPill. You're making a lot of mistakes that are answered right there in the text. Also, ignore said chick. Don't text, don't call, don't fantasize about. You should fantasize about 50 lb dumbells, bench press, squats, deadlifts, etc.

i could easily tell this girl really did have a thing for me by the way she texted

No you can't. Girls use texting for validation and you have no idea about her body language, voice tone, context, sarcasm, etc. when communicating via text. Text for logistics only

First of all, relax. Breathe, exercise or go do a hobby -whatever gets you out of your own head.

Outcome independence, man. Just enjoy yourself and quit stressing out. Have fun with the girl. Give things room to happen naturally.

If things go off the rails, no biggie. This is just one of the countless adventures that make up your life.

After a relatively long time without any female partner, as soon as one girls shows affection or gives you attention, it's very easy to "fall in love with her" even though you DON'T FUCKING KNOW HER! The condition is called...oneitis.

asked a girl i had a crush on out last Tuesday

Okay so this girl is really pretty and you've probably interacted with her quite a bit, you have a crush, cool.

i could no longer get this chick out of mind.

Oh no...sighs...here we go! I bet you read your texts with her over and over again...78 times approx?

i told her i have feelings for her.

with a girl i love.

his girl i'm madly in love with.

Dude! You have known 'been' with her only since Tuesday! You don't even know her...all her "lovable qualities" are in your head!

Watch this and tell me this is not you.

Dude, you SERIOUSLY need to cut off this "girl I love" bullshit. You've got her on a pedestal so high she's sucking God's dick.

Gonna be honest with you, after

1. behaving like her little text-orbiter for a week
2. professing your "feelz" for her after one date

Your chances are probably pretty much shot.

How do I know? She delivered the ultimate "kiss of death":

She replied by saying she likes me but would like to go into the relationship slowly.

Let me RedPill that statement for you:

"/u/ozthelion, I'm gonna make you wait for weeks before we have sex, because I'm not really, really attracted to you. I'm gonna make you WORK for what I gave the "bad boys" after one or two dates. I feel you can make a FANTASTIC beta who buys me dinners and stuff, and after some jewelry and paying for more dates, I might give you some missionary duty sex in a month. Or maybe not, if I find a haaaaawt guy with money, a jerk-boy attitude, and washboard abs."

You've got a serious case of ONEitis. Lose it, forget her, and spend some time reading the sidebar on /r/theredpill.

You can start here:

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2009/05/19/be-a-skittles-man/

You're welcome.

As we walk to the car, i told her i have feelings for her.

KAAAAABOOOOOOMMM!!!!! NEVER tell a woman you like her, especially one you haven't fucked yet. You just ruined any and all mystery and intrigue you had going in your favor.

Also, you've got ONEITIS in a bad way. Watch this video ASAP!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GdnYedTpToA

Once you're done watching it, go read the Year One posts at Rational Male. Then come back and watch the above video 2 or 3 more times.

• !! ONEITIS ALERT !! Holy shit, one date and you're madly in love with her?!? Read the damn side bar, son.

• Stop worrying about fucking up every little thing. None of us are nearly as smooth as we pretend to be on the internet. Take a few minutes to examine your mistakes and figure out how to handle it better next time, then move on and don't dwell on it.

• Don't blow money on any restaurant fancy enough to require reservations. Not just because it's expensive, but because you then are obligated to stay for the entire meal. "oh wow, you collect pokemon cards too? I'd love to see your collection. Let's go after dinner" or whatever. Then by the time you finish dessert, that connection has faded, you're full and need a nap. Go for a drink (alcohol, coffee, etc) or something else you can leave instantly if you get an in like that.

• Don't apologize. Ever. For anything.

• Texting is for logistics ONLY. You are wasting all your good material when you can not escalate. You are only getting her hot and bothered for the very next guy she sees, which ain't you.

• Yes, you fucked up. We all do. So what. Move on. It's not saveable. Do not contact her; if she's interested she will contact you.

• I can tell by the way you write that you don't work out. Start. You need to divert all this nervous energy into lifting heavy things. You need to get physically exhausted at least five times a week at your age. Shit just reading that gave me butterflies in my tummy like I was back in high school. Go work out.

There is so much wrong with what I just read. You seriously need to mellow the fuck out. The best advice I or anyone else can give is, to GO READ THE SIDE BAR on theredpill.

I've started browsing TRP a month ago, and i must say, by far, favorite subreddit.

stop asskissing

Blue people hate PUA lingo, never use it with them. Also the amout of detail and intent comes of as creepy - they simply are prejudiced against men that aren't natural and need to think things before hand.

that was an opportunity for a kiss.

no it wasn't that blew up with your confessional.

Today, i made a joke over text and she took it the wrong way.

Only her superios have the right to tease her, you are a emotional servant boy, you don't get to play games, you can only service her demands.

The stress and anxiety keeps building.

you have issues man. let me guess, hard father enabling mother?

i can't stop thinking about this girl i'm madly in love with. I really feel like i fucked up big time. i'm taking this harder than i actually should be.

yes, you did, but it was inevitable, you are simply too weak to handle a girl like her. Just because she was smiling and liked the dated doesn't mean she liked you. As long as you don't fuck up and do validate her she will feel good, just that it doesn't trasfer into her likiing you, dates are meant to build comfort, not spike atraction.

You lost her, get of the ride. Tell her(in person like the man you will become) you had fun but you need to figure some things out, appologise for your emotional vomit and thank her for being cool about it. Stop dating girls you like. You need to disociate sex and attraction. You need to learn how to lead and get your balls drained so we fix that neediness your mother created. YOu need to learn AWALT and how to manage and enjoy a good dinamic with a woman like that.

Your neediness, your hormones and your education make you extremely unatractive, add to that the normal bonding that occurs on dates(that comfort I was talking about) and you turn to mush, you become something only a mother can love.

After you learn to spin plates you can move on to whatever you actually want(LTR with a girl next door would be my guess)

Never tell a girl you have feelings first, it makes her stop guessing. Girls like a mystery even when its obvious.

For now, I would not talk to her for a week.5, meet some other girls if possible, and then after the time, ask her out on another date. If shes down, do the same thing you did, but don't mention feelings and just kiss her. During the week you don't talk to her, immerse yourself in this sub

ONE Fucken Itis already? You haven't even kissed this girl playboy, you need to relax and take her off the fucken pedastal asap.

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