Just turned 20, and I feel like I'm too comfortable.
Finished high school, now at the end of my gap year. While I did have a what I would consider a great year for me, it wasn't "succesful" when it comes to jobs or money.
What's worst is that I somewhat know the things I need to be doing, but the amount that I'd have to work to get to that point outweighs how much I want the success due to complacency / comfort. It feels like I'm essentially allowed to be somewhat lazy by my parents, and at the back of my head / in my subconciousness, I know that if I fail / don't make it, I will be fine here and their threats are empty, and I can't escape this loserish tought pattern.
How do I overcome this?
900_year_old_vampire 7y ago
you're a young man.. where do you want to be in 5 years? 10? still skating by being lazy? a business owner? rich? a home owner? settling in a different country? ask yourself these questions, because you're going to be there before you know it. seriously, years are going to fly by.
moltenw 7y ago
I don't know. Only thing I do know is I want to have good health, good physique, economical freedom and my own place. Some lasses wouldn't hurt either.
I do have a good business opportunity now in an erotic industry (creating adult porn games, has to do with graphic design), but I'm starting to question if getting the financial stability is worth it if I'm possibly damaging myself in the process. I already have a hard time getting it up, and constantly looking at porn "pixels" doesn't do me any good I think, not at my age where I'm horny every day.
chefe22 7y ago
Advice: You need to realize that if you "fail and don't make it" you will NOT be fine.
You will continue to be a worthless bag of shit for the next 60 years with zero reason to live.
Envision that. If that doesn't make you want to change, you are fucked.
moltenw 7y ago
I envision that, I do not want it, and yet the change is only in the mind and not in my actions. That's why I'm creating this post in the first place.
Shit, I don't even know what my passions or interests really are, I'm questioning a lot of things at the moment except the basics like good health, phisique, peace of mind, money and women.
_thechinaman_ 7y ago
What you can do is, IF you have convictions and beliefs, you can use your status of economic privilege and comfort to educate yourself on matters that people who are not in your position do not have the leisure time to address. Going to the gym is always necessary unless you want to be a soyboy pussy bitch, in which case you don't have nor want and convictions or beliefs to uphold as a righteous man and this comment is then worthless on you.
ultimatrev666 7y ago
Stagnation is a slow death, my friend. It's not living. Find purpose and a means to pursue.
moltenw 7y ago
I agree 100% with you. It does feel like I have little control in "finding" that purpose and wether or not I do eventually find it or not is up to chance, a circumstances of events.
Sure, If I do go out of my comfort zone more often, I have more chances of finding that purpose, but even then It's not guaranteed.
I've realised the world doesn't give a shit about your wants and your dreams. Do people really think every famous or succesful people got there just because they wanted it? You rarely hear about the unsuccesful stories, about the 1000 that didn't make it for every 1 that did, and then everyone parading that "1" as the "Well, if they could do it, then YOU can tooo!!!!" . For every Vasily or GayLubeOil in this sub, there are thousands that take a peek and never return, or readers who only read and never take action etc. What seperates the two? If it's action or "dedication", then what made those more dedicated or more action-taking? Why is redpill admitting that genetics take play only for physical appearance, and not things like motivation, dedication etc as well?
Look, this self-defeating attitude isn't good for anyone, hell it might not even be true, and yet it feels the most realistic, and to be fair - it's quite hard for me to fully immerse myself in the bluepill "I will make it despite all odds!!!" belief and have that fire burning inside me when I understand the work, luck and everything that needs to happen to become that 1 out of 1000 or even more.
In some ways, I feel like damaged good, I've become too cynical, and I've noticed I get better whenever I'm off TRP (since after a while, it's mostly an echo chamber anyway and I think I've read enough).
In any case, I really need a mindset change, hell, maybe even a lifestyle change. This is definitely not healthy, this is borderline incel thinking and it makes me disgusted. Hopefully I can get past this phase.
AnonBro34333 7y ago
You sound like such a pussy dude. Quit bitching about life. You could sit around and do nothing & you are guaranteed to make it no where in life... or you could put in the effort and be something. Success isn’t luck.. that’s such a losers mentality
moltenw 7y ago
Improving isn't luck.
However, "top" success in my opinion is. (As in, things like "I will be the best rock star or richest businessman etc).
I think the problem mostly lies in the expectations of people. I know that if I work at something for a while, I'll get better at it from experience, either it be gym, school, or a skill I'm trying to learn. However, I'm questioning if it's possible to reach the top of the top without having those unrealistic expectations. I think you kinda need a true blind passion / obsession to get to that stage (I reached top 0.01% in League of Legends at the age of 14, and I never cared about reaching the top, I was just obsessed and addicted and it just happened. Pretty sure that's how it happens to most people in every field).
SubstantialBeanBoi 7y ago
Your parents are too soft to hold you to standards, so here's what you gotta do. You have to "manufacture a crisis in your life." All on your own. What I mean is that you have to deliberately remove the the support that allows you to be complacent and soft. In your case, a hypothetical scenario would be: Save up 10k and move across the country (preferably with some kind of job lined up). Support yourself, pay for your own shit, and those conditions alone will foster a change. You'll have to be attentive to things you weren't before, there will be genuine consequences for fucking off. Another hypothetical: go join the air force. Sign that dotted line and you're FORCED to adapt. Stuff like that.
https://pushingrubberdownhill.com/2016/05/09/you-need-to-create-your-own-crisis/
AnonBro34333 7y ago
So pathetic man.... being rich/successful is accomplished by 1% for a reason. You gotta go out of your comfort zone to have success. Too many people prefer comfort over suffering for a little while to reap the benefits later in life.
I’m 21 years old and I’ve maxed a ROTH IRA for the past 3 years... you have GOT to start working for your future now.
moltenw 7y ago
You literally gave no actionable advice. Useless humble brag.
lolurfucked 7y ago
fuck your comfort zone, move out, stop depending on your parents, cut off everything that gives you comfort if you fuck up. i would rather be independent, strong and poor rather rich and spoiled. don't get me wrong, lots of guys would give everything to have what you have, you've been given an advantage, now it's time to make your own way.
best of luck.