Ive been thinking about this for some time now: I need a universal sentence to drop at every girl I see in every situation without coming up with something creative, waiting for a good time or whatever. Just see, go over, drop the sentence, start the conversation.
I commute and by train and usually I dont talk to chicks when bystanders are around. Ive done it a few times when she was super hot but I usually dont go through the touble.
So basically Im looking for something innocent, neutral to start a conversation while people are around.
Last week I was talking to a girl much younger than me and I swear, an older lady came around to stand beside us like she wanted to protect the girl.
When I ride the train on my commute its simliar shit, the station is crowded and I usually dont try anything, its fucking embarassing to go over like, "hi I like your whatever" and everyone knows whats up and puts me and her in an uncomfortable situation instantly.
I need something to say that is totally innocent, neutral and starts the conversation anyway, without old ladies coming over to fight off the predators...ok, train/bus station is realtively easy..."do you think I can walk until there and there"..."Im new here, can you tell me"..."Is the train usually on time/crowded/whatever"
In an everyday situation I dont like to think about what to say or when or where...I just need a universal sentence, bystander-proof to drop like cluster bombs on every situation, I hope you know what I mean.
So I was think about innocent, neutral things you say to another human in public, here is what I came with so far:
- Do I know you from somewhere? (Yes, cheesy but when you say it like you mean it, it will be good I guess and ultra universal)
- Didnt you go the school at XY?
- Dont you work at office bulidng XY?
You get the drift. I dont need the ultimate first line, when she is hot enough I get motivated enough to do something else, I just need something for girls Im less attracted to but want to talk to anyways without wasting my precious energy.
Any ideas or suggestions? I have the strong feeling like there is something but the aha-moment-idea just wont come...
absolutelynp 8y ago
As Beyblade_Clips suggested, I tried "Dont I know you from somewhere?" in the crowded train. And it worked well, comforting, relaxed, no problem. The key is to say it like you mean it. You can also emphasize that you mean it. It did not develop an conversations out of it, that is something I will work on next.
I will now drop this on every chick I see without having to think twice. I know you shouldnt think anyway when cold approaching, but baby staps people
[deleted] 8y ago
Hi. Works every time. Maybe even smile if I want to.
absolutelynp 8y ago
Well when you just say Hi in front of bystanders, its still obvious what Im doing and the situation could get uncomfortable. But I thought about too, it could be working when you act like you actually know her and say it like you know her...then you could just jump right in like you just met her again before work
vandaalen Endorsed Contributor 8y ago
Ah. Back to the sidebar with you it is.
Never try to coneal your intentions.
person8445 8y ago
maybe I'm completely misremembering, but isn't one of the iron rules to always conceal your true intentions? How should I interpret/reconcile these conflicting ideas?
vandaalen Endorsed Contributor 8y ago
that's from 48 laws of power. are you looking to employed by her?
absolutelynp 8y ago
yeah in fornt of her, but the bystanders dont need to know lol
the situation is uncomfortable for her as well and dont tell me this is a good thing while you are approaching
vandaalen Endorsed Contributor 8y ago
what changes in your life if they do
absolutelynp 8y ago
the situation is shit...train station, people, no one expects to get talked to in a slightly sexual way...its just a shitty situation and needs an inoccent, neutral approaches. Bonus points for universal usable.
vandaalen Endorsed Contributor 8y ago
bullshit. you'll collect bonus points with her and nobody else will give a fucking shit. you are unimportant. your life is unimportant. no one in this world gives a fuck about you or your approaches. people are more interested in what they'll be having for lunch than your love life.
absolutelynp 8y ago
dude I dont know. I did it a few time when she was hot enough, but the situation wasnt right, Imagin it, its a crowded platform, people are standing and wating...
vandaalen Endorsed Contributor 8y ago
Are you implying that I am too retarded to imagine a simple situation on a fucking train or subway station and you have to tell me four fucking times what it is like?
People don't give a fuck about you and your pathetic life. They are occupied much more with theirs. You don't matter to them. You could melt next to them and all you would be would be a shoulder shrug and a story they can tell for three days.
It's all in your head.
Kornell2018 8y ago
What OP is means is that her guard will be up more as well.
Aesthetic_God__ 8y ago
Right but he doesn't have to shave his neck, nor does he spend money on reddit to get a badge on asktrp damn it... He doesn't look like an autistic version of a pirate.
absolutelynp 8y ago
no. I just want to say: I have approached girls in this situation a few times and the whole situation was uncomfortable FOR HER AS WELL AND THUS SHIT OVERALL. Maybe there are extroverted chicks that like that but my experience is they dont. Besides, the train platform is just an example, Im still looking for universal, bystander-proof conversation staters.
civilizedfrog 8y ago
Your mouth is the universal conversation starter. Also the uncomfortable feeling you have is approach anxiety. There is only one cure. Approach more women
absolutelynp 8y ago
I know and approach anxiety is OK for me. Just some situations are shitty like the train platform or as wrote above, when I talked to a girl much younger than me and the old lady came over to stood by us as if they wanted to protect her. Also situations where Im not willing to think and just need a standard sentence to drop, for there situations Im looking for innocent, neutral conversation starters, like "you look familiar".
TRPcez 8y ago
What you say doesn't matter. Do you remember what you said to your friend this morning?
When cold approaching, you want to build comfort. Then you disqualify/neg her. Next, you create comfort. When you get her to jump through hoops and feel relaxed, close. Strike when the iron is hot.
I'm a big fan of James Tusk on YouTube. Check out cold approaching on Youtube.
Beyblade_Clips 8y ago
There is a universal conversation starter. It’s, “haven’t I seen you somewhere before?” Or, “you look familiar.”
MYMOUTHISNUMmn 8y ago
"Ar'nt you that chick from brazzers?"
absolutelynp 8y ago
Yeah thats all I could think of too. Any further ideas? I like you look familiar, its better than a question.
Beyblade_Clips 8y ago
Well, if you start the convo with, “have I seen you somewhere before?” You can gauge her personality by how she responds. If she’s the outgoing type then she’ll do all the talking for you and you could just follow it up with, “because you look familiar.” These conversation starters are so good because if she’s not interested she’ll just say no and you didn’t even put yourself out there. It also gives the more shy chicks a chance to talk
It’s big that you don’t follow the former convo starter up with much more questions or you’ll come off as interrogatory, or creepy. A good follow up to those statements is, “well, you’re cute I’d like to see you more often.”
I don’t necessarily agree with trp rule of waiting till she compliments you first before you compliment her in this instance because most likely you guys both have places to be. If you’re sitting next to her and didn’t approach her off the transit you obviously have more time to implement rp rules.
absolutelynp 8y ago
I see, I see...I didnt had the guts yet to pull off a "have I seen you before", it actually seems cheesy to me. I guess the the key is to act like Im actually wondering if I had seen her before. But I see the advatage, when you get a flat out no, you turn around and didnt put yourself out there / wasted energy, when she says anything different, Im in, the conversation bubble builds up and all is well, thats actually pretty good and could work for me....thanks man, I will try it out
FearGarbhArMait 8y ago
Hard time talking to women, do shrooms, smoke weed or drink alcohol. All of a sudden, 'hey', 'yo' and my favorite 'hello' just come out easy as fuck.
[deleted] 8y ago
You're overthinking it. Just bring up 'wolf porn' or the song Monster Mash. Ask any chick the lyrics to her favorite song- other than the chorus, she doesn't know what they say. She only knows the beat and the chorus. So your words don't matter.