Hey guys,
We all know plates don’t last forever. Sooner or later they do something that warrants a soft next or a hard next altogether.
Whenever I make the internal decision that the situation is cooked and to move on, I have the tendency to feel really guilty as I go radio silent on them. (Or as I gradually respond less and less)
As they continue to reach out and text me I just feel awful as I see the situation dissolve.
I’m sure a lot of you guys experience similar things, because at the end of the day we’re not robots and do form connections to these girls in some form or fashion, but I’d be curious to know what sort of key phrases or principles you remind yourself of to get back on track.
Iron_and_Glass 8y ago
"They lived before meeting me, they can live without me."
"Cause and effect"
JerryLawlerPigFace 8y ago
Thanks man.
The root of the guilt doesn’t seem to be that I’m hurting the girl, upsetting her, etc etc. It’s more so me wavering on whether I’m making a mistake or not.
I’m not looking for an LTR with any of these girls, but I hate to see a good plate break. You’d ideally want to keep a good thing going for as long as you can, and I think my issue is that I start feeling guilty and become torn on whether or not I’m nexting them for a good reason.
Was the reason a misunderstanding? Am I being too strict and too harsh and nexting them for silly reasons? And I being too cynical? Should I wait longer before I ultimately make my decision? I tend to think in black and white a lot of the times, which can lead me to potentially letting good plates smash for silly reasons.
I suppose it all comes down to abundance though.
Iron_and_Glass 8y ago
So its word choice, you aren't feeling guilty you are doubting your initial decision.
You can introspect after or even during but my answer to you is this:
You already made the decision to next/soft next based on all of your previous experience and couldn't have made that decision any other way (remember your logic already decided that was the best decision, hence why you did it). Stopping or reversing halfway through will leave you in a worst position from a relationship standpoint (now you need her vs her needing you).
Don't ever second guess something you are halfway through on, finish it and use the knowledge gained to make a more informed decision the next time.
JerryLawlerPigFace 8y ago
This was tremendous. Thanks man.
I’ve seen how bad aborting a soft next can be in the past. How quickly the switch was flipped from me going silent to now me in the bitch position. It was awful, and your statement nailed it spot on.
Retstortion 8y ago
I feel bad too but understand, if you were less attractive than these girls, they’d ghost you for sneezing.
Women don’t feel remorse. They’ve done worse to men equal or lower than them in SMV
[deleted] 8y ago
This.Fucking this.
Retstortion 8y ago
“Ew he fucking coughs weird, I can’t see myself with him” - girl who is above or equal to you
“I don’t mind that he has a criminal record, he treats me well” -girl you’re higher SMV than
[deleted] 8y ago
At the end of the day, its value over actions, tell them if you want them, otherwise you sue just wasting your time.
Retstortion 8y ago
All of the struggles we face are tied to whether we are attractive enough to make others see past it.
Men and women treat attractive people better
JerryLawlerPigFace 8y ago
Thanks man, this did help!
oytrp 8y ago
Side bar.
Specifically read: "When I say no, I feel Guilty".