Other than disciplines like going to sleep on time, meditating, eating right etc, I'm lazy when it comes to "work". I just constantly put things off that actually require constant focus and attention. It feels like I always need to have "fun", either it be procrastinating on reddit, playing a video game instead of working on my skills or money making etc. I even worked 2 hours on a "project" every day for 2 months, but that "discipline" in this aspect never kicked in, unlike the other things I mentioned at start.
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Any applicable advice than "just do it"? Is it really just me not "wanting" this enough or is there an underlying problem that I can actually work on?
BadBoyProgrammer 7y ago
Or maybe you just do not like the task/work and rather do something else.
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A lot of work/tasks are just incredible boring, annoying and/or draining energy.
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moltenw 7y ago
> Or maybe you just do not like the task/work and rather do something else.
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Well, yes, that's exactly the problem. I could be making 5k a month with my project in two months time in a country where the minimum wage is 440 euros at the age of fucking 19, but instead I choose to play World of Warcraft in private servers just because "I'd rather do something else" or "it's more fun".
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It's fucking stupid. Do I not "care enough" ? Am I too "spoiled" and think everything's gonna be alright even if I don't put in the work?" AQWSFwegaqerghaqerg I hate this, YET I'M PARALYZED TO MOVE IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. Fucking pathetic. How the fuck do I even begin changing this mentality and IT ACTUALLY STICKING WITH ME. I have some bursts of motivation, but even if I do "work" for 1-2 months, it never sticks. It has to be something in my mentality, yet I don't know what or where even to begin fixing.
jkp99 7y ago
See, you have great opportunity yet you do not move on it. Which clearly shows that you do not want it. Just like with women - „ don’t watch her words, watch her actions“ - that is true for you as well.
If I was you I would try to understand what part of you does not want success, money, abundance.
My best guess is- you are using procrastination as a buffer against your burden of performance. Compare Rational Male I on buffers vs rejection of girls. If you don’t try you can’t fail (obviously are failing 100% but it feels like you „could have succeeded“).
Second option is- you have unconcious believes that you aren’t worthy of success and do not deserve it so you sabotage it.
There is many more options as well. This stuff usually runs deep. So figure it out. I would look into shadow work. Possibly think about going to a therapist. I like Jordan Peterson’s approach: clean your room, work yourself up.
Good luck.
moltenw 7y ago
You actually hit the nail on the head.
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I think deep down your "best guess" is correct.
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In fact, I even wrote a post some days ago as well regarding that I could very well have impostor syndrome or a fear of success/failure. I was introverted, no social skills, and only now in the past year I've truly turned my life around, and with the blue pill conditioning that was happening all my life, It's no wonder I'm feeling like this. Understanding this is one thing, though.
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It truly does run deep. So deep that I need to write shitty posts like these. I will look into your suggestions.
decoy88 7y ago
You may have r/ADHD
moltenw 7y ago
I fucking hate to put myself in a victim position, but honestly? I don't know, maybe I do have it. For a long while now, I've thought to myself that I may indeed have it, but I always disregarded it due to a "Fuck it, I'm not gonna feel sorry for myself" mentality (or maybe I'm just a lazy fuck). I did struggle at school with my attention a lot, sometimes did have problems controlling myself or being hyperactive especially when I was younger. It also says that they have good attention span for things they find interesting, which is what always happens with me. If the thing interests me deeply, I get really good at it and can focus on it for long periods of time. Got to top 0.1% in the whole world out of 100+ million accounts in League of Legends at the age of 14, for example.
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At the same time, I might just be seeing things in where it's "correct" and being biased in a way, I don't know. After all, attention deficits in most children and younger generations are bad, and most people can focus better on things they find interesting.
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You honestly made me want to check for myself.
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I called my parents and they didn't take it seriously, seems like I'll need to do it myself. Until then, I refuse to accept that I have it.
decoy88 7y ago
If you got a wrench stuck in your ribs, is it smarter to consult an expert on the subject and get verification or tough it out?
If you need help with something RP-related is it smarter to seek advice from experts? Or keep going your way?
I've recently been looking into Adult ADHD. It often goes undiagnosed for years because bright kids get away will doing well in school while slacking on homework and studying. Check the sub, read up on symptoms, if you match 8 or more of them it might be worth seeing a professional.
Duh. You can't self-diagnose so you'll need verification from a professional
moltenw 7y ago
btw, I slightly edited my comment just in case you didn't read the edited version. Thanks for the reply, I'll look into the sub.
decoy88 7y ago
Oh I didn't see it soz. Yeah periods of COMPLETE disinterest and HYPER focus are big indicators of the thing (where the fuck is the middle ground!?). Also being unable to concentrate on activities for an extended amount of time, often switching between tasks and leaving them unfinished.
This clip always comes to mind when trying to focus on anything even slightly unexciting.
moltenw 7y ago
Yeah... I'm always multi-tasking, and lose attention very quick even if I do get out of my lazy slump.
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Ehh, I guess I'll go check myself. Better to know for sure wether I am or not than always be guessing. At least if I know I have it, I'll be able to formulate a plan to work in it.
decoy88 7y ago
Good luck mate