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spiritletshereit 8y ago
I'm very new here so take this with a grain of salt.
I've been through stages of my life where I've experienced what you're experiencing. It's sometimes easy to just drift along with people that you like but who you have little in common with apart from drinking. (Or whatever.)
The problem is you can never show the true, best version of yourself when you're trailing along in the shadow of others peoples scene.
Find out what you love doing and then start doing it. Make an effort to bring people along with you to what YOU want to do and you'll find you're way more confident and relevant and you'll have a better time. In my case I've started going to alt-bars and to see live bands again for the first time in years even thought most of my friendship group aren't into it. I've been finding new people to have fun with as a result who are a more positive influence and who I don't resent spending my free time with.
I'm way more confident and give off a much better vibe because I genuinely want to be there.
I spent at least three years in recent times standing on depressing dancefloors playing music I hate, talking to people who were little more than drinking buddies. I'd resort to cocaine every weekend just to have a half decent time - which I'd regret heavily the next day. I was a shadow of my real self, just floating along in other peoples reality.
Do your thing! You might be surprised at how many people start seeing you as a fun person and start coming along with you.
StrifePrevails 8y ago
How's your disposition? Are you generally dominant when comfortable or always just reserved? Because what I do is usually take over whatever group I'm in and get them talking about things I'm interested in but I'm bold to the point of absurdity so this might not be for everyone. Also, I'm 6'2 and being usually the tallest person there helps
[deleted] 8y ago
[deleted]
StrifePrevails 8y ago
It certainly is, but you need an unshakeable frame. If a guy like me comes along, you can't lose the group else you'll be relegated to the side