32, italian, just returned (temporarly) to my parents' home since I got huge setbacks. I'm working really hard to get out of this shitstorm but it seems it never ends. My stress level is very high, as an indicator I use my psoriasis, right now my back and my pectorals are stained. A got a few close friends, but I feel lonely and without any support. Overall, my situation is a completely trainwreck, I lost the willingness to do many things and my healthy is clearly deteriorating. Causes are mixed of a really really bad stretch of unlucky events and some poor handled situations, but the results is way too harsh. Even though, I haven't lose the deside to win again at the game of life, which is obv a very good thing.

Anyway, the thing is I might need money from my parents and I fear ask for it. The best way to describe our relationship is to imagine a wall between us. They weren't good parents, they failed to guide me in some crucial moments and they aren't interested in anything beside the dog who use for fill up the void in their lives. I've lived alone for 10 years, providing me a very good living, without asking once for money. I've never ask for money literally, they provided just basic stuff thorughut my upbrining, but I've never got anything close to my friends'Many years ago they confessed they accrued some money for me and showed me (a little more than 6k), the sum was hidden in our house, and they told me that if I would need help, I can take it. Today I went to check and there were only 200$. I also discovered that my parents's bank account has a little less than 2k available, it was astonishing. My father pension is 2k, my parents got no expenses, literally none, but they manage to burn the whole pension every single month (I've check the transactions). Regardless my situation, at 60, you can't have 2k in your balance. Simply you can't. What you are going to do if you need an expensive cure or something? It is scary as hell; also about being parents, they failed to provide the last support to your son, which is way scarier for me. In Italy, people live off with 1,5k with a kid and a mortage, just saying. Anyway, I fear they spent the money that was for me and I fear they won't help me. I've saw some therapists in my life and they agree that the relationship with my parents is the key to my miserable life. The family should be your last resort, the only people who can really care and help, but I feel that if I fail I will be alone. I don't hold any grudge, I just want to know that there's someone I can count on, but I can feel this isn't my case. This is a spot that I cannot be outcome independent, if they pass our relationship, and my life, will step up, but if they fail I think once I climbed the hole I'm in right now I won't see them again.

I'm thinking about exactly what to say and I've come up with a story that allows me to mantain my frame and at the same time discover what they will do. I think I will 'lost' my wallet with my documents along with my credit/debit cards, ask for 'my money' and see how it goes. What do you think?