I've dropped a lot of neediness recently, or at least figured out how to drop these feelings when they appear out of nowhere. As I get older I get more comfortable as a person with who I am and generally getting slightly more socially confident, more DGAF.
My success with women hasn't changed as I haven't really focused on it yet except when interaction is convenient.
But my personality is still just generally very awkward and low energy. It's just how I've always been and I don't really see how I could or why I should change it even though I'm obviously aware apathy and low energy are not attractive personality traits.
When I drink, even just one drink, I get a lot more confident and extroverted. But when I'm sober I'm fairly shut off and unconfident unless I'm talking to a friend I can trust.
Would appreciate any tips, advice or good posts which can help me with this. Cheers
redhawkes 2 8y ago
What you call 'personality' is the old beta conditioning aka subconscious beliefs about yourself (self-image).
You might want to check your thyroid and testosterone levels if you feel low energy or brain fog.
See, it's your subconscious mind. Now this might stems from your past experiences of validation/approval seeking and you overthink too much your actions and can't fully function.
Imagine this as being conscious of every step you make and consciously telling yourself which muscle to contract, ligament to move etc. You can't and you can't function that way. You internalize this with mistakes (falling at first) then forgetting the mistakes and remebering the success (walking freely). Now you just do it.
Here is when the fucking sidebar comes at play. Reading all of it and implementing the teachings one at the time, until it becomes subconscious. Again, the main thing is to do it and learn from mistakes, then forget them and remember the success until you internalize.
Next time you talk/game, focus on the right now, don't overthink shit and just do it, have fun. Don't be outcome dependent.
The core thing is to understand that you don't have control outside your mind. You can only control yourself, you can't control someone else opinion of yourself. Your opinion of yourself is the most important (FRAME).
Here is some material, also start reading The Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, Rational Male, The Book Of Pook, No More Mr.Nice Guy and of course the sidebar.
RedPillIsTruth2 8y ago
Book of Pook and How to Win Friends and Influence People
I've seen people recommend stand up as a hobby
Experience
empatheticapathetic 8y ago
I'm a big stand up buff which is where most of the positive attributes of my personality have developed from. Never really wanted to try it as a hobby as it's essentially just my personality/game already.
I'll check book of pook, never got around to reading it. Cheers