I am 21. I discovered redpill two months ago. Read the side bar more than three times. I was totally a nice guy and a blue pilled beta.Started lifting, started earning money. Improvement is goiıng good. But there was no success with women. There was no experience with redpill mindset. I am sure you will be angry when you read this.

I met this Russian girl on Tinder. She was on the vacation in my country. She is 8, tall and clever. She did everything first , ask for number, ask for instagram etc. She has a real boyfriend for two years. She explained that "I use tinder for meeting new people new ideas." blah blah. We decided to meet. Normally she would come to a cafe which was near my home but she couldn't. Because her hotel was far and there was no service in that time. So I bought a wine and I decided to go her hotel with my bike and eveything changed here.

I went her hotel . We chatted a little bit at the lobby. I was there for havıng fun. There was no expectations. "Because she had a boyfriend. Nothing will be happen." Later, she took me to a bench which was in a quiet place and far from people. We started to drink wine. Our connection was awesome and ı was feeling she was into me. A kept her hand and she kept mine and no rejection. A little time later we were kissing. According to my redpill knowledge ı started to escalate. We made out for 3 4 hours. She stopped me when ı touch her special places :) all the night. And said " this is our first date." blah blah.

Second date she came to cafe which is near my home. we smoked sisha and drank beer. I said her "lets go to my apartment, ı prepared a perfect movie." ı think this is called "plausibe deniability". We went my apartment. Started to watch movie. But in ten minutes we started to make out. ASD was there. And shit test was also. I passed them by Agree / Amplify. I couldnt pass ASD. Night finished with a blowjob and nothing more.

Third date. She came to my apartment. We were watching a film again and like the other dates we started to make out. ASD and LMR was there. She said " you will not fuck me." and ı said " okay, you are a virgin and I am a gay, nothing can be happen." two minutes later, I was in her. Here I started to fuck up. Let me explain.

I am not a virgin. But ı havent had a sex for two years. This girl was a miracle for me. For the first time in my life I had a passionate sex. And the oneities started. I started to think of her boyfriend. A liitle jealous but I didnt mention about this to her until she went her country. I was really in redpill mindset in first three date but bluepilled beta was there and waiting for.

Last date.She came home again,we Had sex, had fun, had a perfect night. But it was last. Because she would go to her country in the afternoon. Before she left , she cried. She promised that " I will come in a month and make a surprise for you. you will be shocked when you see me" blah blah. I was sad, too.

After she turned back to her country, we didnt cut contact. We still continued to texting on Whatsapp. But something changed. She started to say "I dont want to lose you honey, whatever happens, ı dont want to lose you. You mean a lot to me. I cannot give promises that ı cannot be sure about them. The most possible thing is ı will come there with my boyfriend" blah blah." I WAS TOTALLY SAD. BECAUSE THIS GIRL WAS MY SOULMATE."

I searched in the redpill about this situation. I found that "she is not yours. its just your turn.". Very sad fact. I am having problems with acceptting this because ı was so happy. (and bluepilled). I was an alpha when she was with me but on texting ı was becoming a beta. In comments, all the people said that " go fuck ten other women." . ı would want to. but its not easy in my country or maybe its an excuse for me.

She had a chance to come in a month. Yesterday she was angry and had an accident. I called her 3 times but she didnt answer. After then she wrote, " dont call me, ı am not a miracle. ı am awful." ı just said " you are sad and your brain is not working correctly." and no answer yet. I feel sad but ı still continue lifting working for my goals.

I know the post is full of scarcity but this is my first experince and it was perfect thing. I am trying to get Abundance mentality. What should ı do guys? Go no contact and wait. I think If she is really into me, she will let me know when she come here. Or this opinion is still betaish or pussy? I will listen your all advices. Sorry for grammar.