I’ve noticed slowly but surely that my friends seem to be distancing themselves from me. I’m in quite a high status group in my school and it really would shake my frame if I lost my friends as I feel like my smv would plummet despite my looks and game. I’m In a relationship at the moment and don’t want to become a little beta because of this fear. Are there any books or techniques I can read to help me become more valued socially? I really do feel lost.
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[deleted] 7y ago
Sounds like high school.
If you’re scared about falling out of a group of friends you’re already losing friends.
It really doesn’t matter.
I’m a junior currently, freshmen year was my year of hanging with weebs and edgy kids, learned some things about what I didn’t like, and what I did like, and still pulled fine.
Sophomore was the “high status” white lacrosse kids and baseball kids that would party every weekend and had girls around because of sports, again, learned some things, and pulled fine.
Junior year is literally a mix of everything. Play games with the nerdier kids sometimes, chill with the “high status” kids every now and then.
The thing about SMV is that if you’re a confident, leading guy then friend groups don’t matter when you’re friends with mostly everyone.
Be the dude that hosts parties and invites literally everyone, that way you’re drawing everyone into your frame.
Who’s more confident?
The dude that doesn’t talk to certain kids because they’re “nerdy”?
or the dude that invites literally everyone and treats them with a kind but leading attitude.
Keep connections with everyone, no reason to keep your identity within your friends.
If it’s high school realize you are much farther above about 90% of the other guys because they’re mostly ignorants that can be displaced in a few words.
Get out of this frame that you NEED other people to display YOUR value.
It’s pathetic and will hurt you later in life.
Good luck, and if you want some books to read about friends.
How to Win Friends and Influence People: Dale Carnegie
downstem23 7y ago
Why do you think your friends are distancing themselves from you? You didn’t explain that at all.
AidAndPie 7y ago
They aren’t replying to texts and arnt picking up the phone on the weekends for example
DaveyOneBite 7y ago
I think he meant why do you think they decided to cut you off. Have you been changing your behavior to be more red pill?
Also if this is high school then don't worry too much. It literally means nothing in the long run. I'm 5-10 years removed from HS and it's funny how little all that matters now.
AidAndPie 7y ago
The thing is all of these guys are natural alphas save for one or two of them. Generally I’m fine but one dude has been constantly shit testing me and making me lose frame which is why I feel like I’m losing value. We are high value in a sense that everybody knows us and yet I feel like I’m lagging behind
DaveyOneBite 7y ago
As far as the shit tests go you gotta treat it almost with amused mastery. It can't bother you. Bonus points if you can follow up with a quick shit Test/sarcastic comment back. Don't know why this one came to mind but this is a great example.
DaveyOneBite 7y ago
Have you changed anything or your attitude to prompt this guy to start testing you?
This may not be your case but IMO when people first swallow the pill they get too excited and try to externalize the behavior which most people pick up on as fake. TRP is best to be internalized and to allow it to be a better version of yourself with newfound clarity as opposed to acting alpha.
AidAndPie 7y ago
I’ve been practicing TRP material for a while but only now have actually been internalizing and being honest to myself about my flaws and some dormant betaness left in me that I’m trying to purge out
RedPilledRoaster 7y ago
Quit talking and start listening.
alpha-zach 7y ago
Learn to embrace it. High value people will always be loners. In a room full of friends most of them are there to gain something and will cut and run if they conclude it will never happen, even if it’s only subconscious.