My LTR has two things that I dislike: she likes going to clubs and occasional parties. However, she always invites me to go out with her but I got more important shit to do than go clubbing. Am I exaggerating if I ask her to stop those activities? You never directly tell a woman what not to do, so how do I go about it? I know girls into clubbing/parties are not LTR-worthy but I don't want to dump her just for this.
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PMmethepussay 8y ago
I wouldn’t do anything about it since she probably does go out to shit-test you and letting her do as she pleases will make her hamster go crazy. Furthermore, remember that chicks have tons of opportunities to cheat on their s/o and if she were to cheat on you at the club she would do the same with the cute guy in her yoga classes that just asked her out. Don’t sweat it ! AWALT
TheDreadnought1 8y ago
You gotta remember though that humans are heavily influenced by their environment, especially the weak minded ones (and women usually are here).
If she's frequently on a heavily sexualized environment, drinking something, getting hit on by attractive men and seeing her friends and other women making out with these men and cheating on their respective boyfriends, the chances that she does the same are significantly bigger than if she was your average stay-at-home girl
zboo1h 8y ago
If she's going to cheat, she's going to cheat. She could do it in a phone booth if she wants to. Some guy's car, whatever.
The problem here isn't that, because she will cheat at some point, because you never set her any boundaries, and obviously you have boundaries like this, because you're posting on reddit about how behavior of hers has been bothering you for a while. So you kind of fucked yourself because telling her NOW that it's always bothered you is just whiny and weak.
Honestly if it were me, I'd bite my lip, get a little distant, and investigate other opportunities. Of course there may be more context to this than I know, but that's my input.
360_no_scope_upvote 8y ago
If you can't dump your chick on a whim then you have oneitis dude. You're going to keep over justifying shit behaviours to yourself in order to thinking it's all alright.
Dread game and attention withdrawal are your best tools. If she's too worried about losing you to other women she's not going to go out and shake her jiggly bits with other men. However this is pointless. You should've vetted this woman properly, the topic should've been broached a long time ago (no girlfriend of mine goes clubbing etc). You tried to turn a hoe (a plate) into a house wife.
No doubt you're going to hamster this post
onpuzzle 8y ago
Don't think I'm hamstering, just asking for advice, why are so many of you so triggered here. To be honest it's probably impossible to find a LTR-worthy girl these days, I can't just be dumping everyone at the first thing I dislike.
360_no_scope_upvote 8y ago
Uh yes you can it's called having standards. An LTR is supposed to happen after careful selection. You're basically advertising, 'hey I'll potentially marry you because you stick around and have a pussy.'
Seems like you're scared to be alone, no abundance.
Don't be that guy.
liberty1127 8y ago
That's a scarcity mindset..."I can't just be dumping everyone"....why do you feel you need to be in an LTR?
wheresMYsteakAt 8y ago
Don't listen to this guys bro they are just in the anger phase. You should trust her to go out drinking at clubs, shows you are an alpha.
What club is she going to tonight?
Yngwie_is_god 8y ago
Haha did they down vote cus they didn’t get the joke cus that shit was funny.
wheresMYsteakAt 8y ago
He most likely downvoted. I mean, the guy used the word "triggered" and has an LTR that goes clubbing without him. What else would you expect?
Yngwie_is_god 8y ago
I just want to know what his “more important shit to do it”. Like it’s not like she’s going to be clubbing during the day or on a Tuesday night.... why the fuck isn’t he going out somewhere anyway he can take her to or just go out and get his dick grinded on.... sounds like he’s emotional tampon/neck beard.
[deleted] 8y ago
[deleted]
zattraction 8y ago
Going out just to control your LTR and appear "strong and funny" to people you domt give a shit about when you have better things to do or simply don't want to is ridiculous.
Us3rn4m321 8y ago
You're right. Deleted my comment
BusterVadge 8y ago
Yeah, and it's mate guarding. I can't believe that he got so many upvotes for that
TheTrenTrannyTrain 8y ago
BP newbies thinking they're so alpha by following their women around.
MattyAnon Admin 8y ago
These are not standards if you permit them, they are preferences.
Women know the difference. They care nothing for what you like, only respecting boundaries. And you don't have them. You will tolerate this. So, there's nothing you can do.
Or wake up, get some balls, and think "what would a man do?"
onpuzzle 8y ago
How do I make it known they are boundaries without appearing insecure?
MattyAnon Admin 8y ago
tell her what to do, walk away if she doesn't do it
Yngwie_is_god 8y ago
Withdraw attention at first. When she starts complaining/noticing suggest something you like to do, idk what your “more important shit is” but involve her with your hobbies, have her in your frame. I don’t know what shit is so “important” on a Friday or Saturday (typical clubbing nights) night that you wouldn’t be going out anyway to do something. Do your “important shit” during the day. If your important shit is playing Dungeons and Dragons then your probably wanna find a girl who likes staying in. A homebody.