Brief:
Last year I went on my first date. It scared the fucking shit out of me. This led to a second and then - eventually - to a relationship. I went from never kissing a girl sober, to fucking a HB6/7 and forming a relationship out of it - it lasted a year. 2 weeks ago I ended this relationship. Last week I moved out and now have a room in a houseshare. I'm currently on my placement for my CompSci degree (I'm UK based). My problem is that I feel stagnant and want to develop passion/ambition so I can begin forming daily habits that will aid me working towards the goals I intend to set. I do not know exactly what I want, and therefore struggle to set such goals.
Background:
While in my second year at Uni, I was fucking motivated. I went to the gym 4-5 times a week, volunteered, got a 1st in my second year, was in a couple of societies, cycled every day, and had a software development job at my Uni. The reason for me ending the relationship was because I felt trapped and I was stagnating. I lived with this girl in a small town (I still live in the town of course, as it's where I currently work), with no friends. I fucked up because I wallowed in this comfort - I didn't really try making any friends. I didn't - and still haven't - cold approached. Being a technical intern at a SME software company isn't fantastic for building a social circle, but it sure-as-fuck isn't an excuse. I'm currently working on building a social circle, and really need to get my ass back into game/dating/getting plates. I left the relationship so I could have the freedom of doing whatever the fuck I wanted, to not be restricted, to have my own space and have the ability to fuck other girls. She's the only girl I've ever been with and I have a great fear about approaching other girls. I know women are human and all of that shit. I've read the sidebar and spent way too many hours last Summer watching RSD and shit like that on the internet. My main cause for writing this, and therefore my primary problem, is that I lack the motivation and discipline. One should never rely on motivation, as that's a fool's game, however I lack the discipline because I lack the drive and ambition. Where do I want to be? Well, after working for this tech company for a number of months, it's taught me that this isn't what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. I do not want to be working for somebody else, dedicating most of my waking hours doing something I find relatively mundane. I would only do this if it was something I was truly passionate about. What am I truly passionate about? Well I've only learned that recently, I believe my only passion is clothing/fashion, however that's quite contrasting to where my current expertise lies. I've not had the urge to go to the gym as much, or cold-approach, and I believe it is because of this lack of vision.
Main point:
How does one find/develop/re-develop their vision? What have you done to get back on track when in a complete rut?

MytruthNotyour 8y ago
I feel like im still in this same rut. Its like the fire you once had in you is vanished.
Thats why i cant fully give you good advice. But, one step at a time man. Crawling out of a depressed state like this is not easy.
Lift, eat healthy, drink water. Go to the park and read a book and meditate. Healthy body, healthy mind.
I just try to get out step by step.
RylanBlackwood 8y ago
There just isn't enough fucking time in the day to even acknowledge depression, never mind write about your problems on a subreddit.
The longer you spend in this rut the more opportunities for happiness you will miss.
Is it really worth it?
Shaney96 8y ago
Great response.
Procrastination and making excuses is a way to hide the real reason behind not doing shit - fear.
RylanBlackwood 8y ago
Thanks fam
Rian_Stone 8y ago
You had a sparring partner you could have used to sort this out. Instead of planning, you quit, then woke up the next morning with nothing to do...
Go work out a bunch and think about what you want in between sets
Shaney96 8y ago
By sparring partner do you mean the girl I was in the relationship? If so, how could I have used her to sort it out?
I quit because it's what I wanted to do. However, your point about not planning and waking up thinking "well, now what?", is entirely true and I was naive.
Rian_Stone 8y ago
Yeah her.
I actually spoke on this at 21 convention... You quash validation seeking, DEERing etc. It's basically. Running through d 12 levels of dread on the sidebar
Ideally, you are at the point where you move her out, and replace her that weekend with a plate or whatever
Shaney96 8y ago
I interpreted it as "you can sort it out with your ex", hence why I asked as your words didn't make much sense.
I'm plateless atm, however this is something I strive towards, as I've not had a plate before.
What I get from your words are "get her out of your life, then get your plates to replace her ASAP". Now that's all well and good if you're prepared and have kept frame and continued developing your social circle. That was my pitfall, and has served as a great lesson.