Brief:

Last year I went on my first date. It scared the fucking shit out of me. This led to a second and then - eventually - to a relationship. I went from never kissing a girl sober, to fucking a HB6/7 and forming a relationship out of it - it lasted a year. 2 weeks ago I ended this relationship. Last week I moved out and now have a room in a houseshare. I'm currently on my placement for my CompSci degree (I'm UK based). My problem is that I feel stagnant and want to develop passion/ambition so I can begin forming daily habits that will aid me working towards the goals I intend to set. I do not know exactly what I want, and therefore struggle to set such goals.

 

Background:

While in my second year at Uni, I was fucking motivated. I went to the gym 4-5 times a week, volunteered, got a 1st in my second year, was in a couple of societies, cycled every day, and had a software development job at my Uni. The reason for me ending the relationship was because I felt trapped and I was stagnating. I lived with this girl in a small town (I still live in the town of course, as it's where I currently work), with no friends. I fucked up because I wallowed in this comfort - I didn't really try making any friends. I didn't - and still haven't - cold approached. Being a technical intern at a SME software company isn't fantastic for building a social circle, but it sure-as-fuck isn't an excuse. I'm currently working on building a social circle, and really need to get my ass back into game/dating/getting plates. I left the relationship so I could have the freedom of doing whatever the fuck I wanted, to not be restricted, to have my own space and have the ability to fuck other girls. She's the only girl I've ever been with and I have a great fear about approaching other girls. I know women are human and all of that shit. I've read the sidebar and spent way too many hours last Summer watching RSD and shit like that on the internet. My main cause for writing this, and therefore my primary problem, is that I lack the motivation and discipline. One should never rely on motivation, as that's a fool's game, however I lack the discipline because I lack the drive and ambition. Where do I want to be? Well, after working for this tech company for a number of months, it's taught me that this isn't what I want to be doing for the rest of my life. I do not want to be working for somebody else, dedicating most of my waking hours doing something I find relatively mundane. I would only do this if it was something I was truly passionate about. What am I truly passionate about? Well I've only learned that recently, I believe my only passion is clothing/fashion, however that's quite contrasting to where my current expertise lies. I've not had the urge to go to the gym as much, or cold-approach, and I believe it is because of this lack of vision.

 

Main point:

How does one find/develop/re-develop their vision? What have you done to get back on track when in a complete rut?