Pretty much the title. Is there anything wrong with this?
It seems like during the first couple weeks / NRE phase I could care less about their character. During that time period she is still a beautiful mystery, and we are having fun, fucking hard and I'm not thinking about it too much.
Later though as she reveals her character I just become less and less attracted. The bigger the slut the less attracted I am. Doesn't matter if I'm sliding down the oneitis path or keeping it casual, once I realize how much sex she is having (with others), how many drugs she is doing, etc. it's like my dick just goes limp.
What's the deal here? I would like to be able to enjoy casual sex with hot young sluts and not over-think the situation. It seems like one part competition/performance anxiety and one part just.. not being able to value a person who acts like such a whore.
It puts me in this weird spot. I can't even fuck them properly. I feel obligated to 'perform' in a certain way so as to be competitive with her other options. And I can't feel anything for them because they are sluts. So what good do they serve? Nothing. I take no comfort in their affection and no pleasure from their flesh.
Or maybe I should just listen to my dick and stop seeing these bitches once they show their hand? After all, it's not my responsibility to feel attracted to them. But if AWALT.. then every woman in the world is like this sooner or later.. and that means I am only attracted to the illusion of a "quality woman". The fuck man?
m0rphing 8y ago
You are hamstering this big time.
If you want to fuck her, fuck her. If you don't, don't. Fuck another chick instead. Rinse and repeat.
DadOnDabs 8y ago
This. If you're not dating them it doesn't matter.
vangodloss 8y ago
When this happens, you gotta let them go. Find a new one, it's just nature.
AwakenedSovereign 8y ago
Seems like such a waste. But I think you're right.
I have yet to be able to overcome the mental barrier once I see a girl in this way. And the more mental gymnastics I try the more exhausting it becomes.
Shouldn't be this hard. I've always blamed myself.. and that makes it worse. I should let go. Thanks.
empatheticapathetic 8y ago
You're looking for an LTR or something subconsciously. As most guys probably are. Otherwise it's generally pointless. Do you have a 'mission' beyond women?
AwakenedSovereign 8y ago
Another user nailed it down pretty good for me a few days back. I was in two LTR relationships between the ages of 17 and 26 with only a 3 month gap when #1 turned into #2.
So putting the bluepill tsunami of society and feminism aside, I spent 9 of my first and most formative years learning how to appease one woman at a time, based on THEIR playbook.
No surprise that I have and will continue to feel the ripples of my past
empatheticapathetic 8y ago
Did you ever sort your back pain btw?
AwakenedSovereign 8y ago
Yes actually.
Healthier than ever doing shit like dance, BJJ, etc. Came down to building core muscles & learning stretches appropriate to my lifestyle. One of my bigger wins from the last couple years
redhawkes 2 8y ago
This. It's your mind fucking with you and projecting the qualities you wanna see in her. It's just that, an illusion or madonna/whore complex.
That's why TRP is here.
AwakenedSovereign 8y ago
I mean you aren't wrong but that doesn't really help me. I've been here 2+ years I can get laid and I'm not giving these sluts exclusivity or dreaming of a future
I just want to have fun and relax.. which is easy at first and then gets hard. What can I do?
redhawkes 2 8y ago
I think it's the dopamine at first, then it becomes boring. Usually on to the next one.
[deleted] 8y ago
Completely with you. I dated / was friends with a girl and lost all interest after learning that she was into banging tattooed ex army guys she described as “players”, after getting dumped by a guy who cheated on her a couple of months ago.
She must have seen so many cocks in her life given that she is 31 already, I lost all attraction.
At the same time she is volunteering for counselling for abused women. That must be female logic. Doesn’t compute for me.
AwakenedSovereign 8y ago
The part that gets me is.. going in.. during the first couple weeks.. I KNOW these girls are sluts. I mean they'll meet me at a party for the 1st time and spread their legs like it's nothing.
So I'm confused by the change that happens. At first j enjoy the sluts. I love them. Maybe too much? And then they just turn me off. Maybe I'm expecting too much from them?
akatsukirp 8y ago
How often are you seeing them? This could be because you're seeing them too often. Also have them do shit for you.
AwakenedSovereign 8y ago
Relevant question. The recent chick that's on my mind I saw too much. Twice a week with two occasions where we spent multiple days together, one being a convention and the other just cuz I was needy.
Also engaged in some boyfriend behaviors just by habit. Not saying it's her fault at all really.. it's mine for failing to lead the frame and be congruent. That's why I feel shitty for letting her go. Can't change how I feel tho and last time she was in my bed I kicked her out.. that's how disgusted I was.
She does alot of stuff for me, brought me medicine, dresses up, super sweet and submissive, bought me tickets to the con, brought me a grinder, etc. But I can't shake the feeling that I'm her beta (without the bux) and she's getting better dick somewhere else. And that fucks with my game and ability to relax and just enjoy her.
akatsukirp 8y ago
You're way too invested in her. Put her on the back burner and spin more plates. She may break because she already sees herself as your gf. Plates are like paychecks, see them once every 2 weeks.
AwakenedSovereign 8y ago
Word
AcidMal 8y ago
Hah. You wanna know a secret? You’ll get tired of all of them. The good ones too. Once you fulfill your biological nature, unless you have some strong delusion or oneitis, you will get tired of all of them. This doesn’t get talked about enough here.
AwakenedSovereign 8y ago
This makes alot of sense. Once I valued the bonding and affection very highly.. and so I would not get tired (delusion, oneitis).
But then TRP happened. Now I don't value the affection at all. I see it for the illusion it is.
They really do just seem like a burden men must carry in order to reproduce. Once you nut why bother..?
Nergaal 8y ago
It just means she stops being potential LTR material.
AwakenedSovereign 8y ago
No it means my dick stops wanting to be inside her.
None of these women are LTR material. I'm not even looking for an LTR. That's why sluts make it past my "vetting process".. I basically don't have one. Be cute, be fun, no drama.
Problem is I still get hit with jealousy/anxiety and even worse I stop feeling physically attracted to them once I face down the evidence of their other partners etc. I can know we are not exclusive.. and as long as I don't have to look at the evidence I'm ok. Shove it in my face and I fall apart.
I assume it's just because I was a serial monogamist from 16-26 and old habits die hard. If I keep spinning plates / FWBs / MLTRs maybe it will balance out over time.
Nergaal 8y ago
You will always carry that burden as a remnant of the unicorn. You will learn to not care one way or another. Keep pumping, enjoy the decline.
JustChopItOff 8y ago
You wouldn't be disgusted if you accepted upfront that these womem have had partners you wouldn't like.
You only like them more at the start because you lie to yourself and make her into a fantasy to enjoy sex more.
Either accept it or continue living in fantasies
Nomfwic 8y ago
Man I've been there, think my case is worse since I've become bored with women in general( no real interesting personalities , no ambitious, no hobbies and really nothing interesting to contribute to a conversation) and only see the sexual value.
What I did was focus on the sexual side. Besides that they are boring, they still hot, they still get me ofd. Don't over think things man.
AwakenedSovereign 8y ago
That's all they seem to be good for
Imscubbabish 8y ago
It happens, again drop this girl. At first she was a mystery. But once you found out who she was it turned you off. It happens no biggie other girls out there.
moontripper1246 8y ago
That is intense.