Met a girl, asked her to hang out on Monday, she was busy, left the ball in her court "Let me know when you aren't busy". She met me Tuesday, that turned into me going to her dorm and participating/witnessing a heap of drinking games. They finished, she went to bed, I said I missed my bus, she obviously didn't want me to stay, whether or not it's because her roommate was awake is unknown.
I asked for an extra 20 minutes, she exasperatedly said yes, I said no and left, mainly because I didn't want to waste my time, and also because I realised I could reheat and eat my food I forgot to eat at lunch time.
I woke up to a message from her about 40 minutes after I left asking why I left abruptly and if I was 'mad' or something. She also tagged me in some shared video comment but it was about something irrelevant.
The message is still sitting there unread, I'm considering leaving it because I'm fairly busy and looking for a better answer, but if I do relply, it'll be "I realised I could eat my food before the bus."
Thoughts?
verily_rp 9y ago
An obvious shit test. It didn't look like you came off too needy. Remember, if you're too invested, she'll lose interest. You have to keep her guessing. That's what maintains her interest.
Good, this is good gaming. She was throwing a nuclear shit test at you. You had abundance mentality in mind (or came off as having it), and now she's left clueless why you're not orbiting her like a good little beta boy.
An obvious shit test. She's trying to remove your Frame. Obviously her hamster is running full throttle and she's trying to find a reason to dislike you. You want to pass/ace it with the standard shit. A&A, or even sass her a little. Or if you -really- want to get her hamster running, answer with 'maybe' and fuck with her mind a bit. She won't be able to stop thinking about you.
fnordsnord 9y ago
Set up another meet. Ignore any questions and just say, "I'm going to be at X, doing Y at Z time. You should come; it's gonna be fun."
Do not address your previous behavior, or hers.
Like the first rule of Italian driving, "What is behind you, is no matter."
d4ng3rz0n3 9y ago
I agree. Dont respond to it. Call her in a couple days and set up something fun if you want to see her again. If she brings it up again, play it off quickly and deny any problem. Change the subject and ask her again to join you for xyz event/party/date
starting_oveRP 9y ago
Agreed. A&A is my favorite way to deal with shit tests, but in the right situation a complete ignore/subject change can demonstrate a very strong frame.
The lack of response from OP to begin with will get her hamster running and following it up with an invite will push it over the edge.