I am 46, in good health, I lift, my blood pressure is 130/77. I ended a marriage 3 months back. I have been seeing someone for about 2 months as FWB. When we got together, wood was not a problem. Sexually we are very compatible. Recently though wood has started being a problem for fucking. Blowjobs, no issue. Handjobs, titfucks, usually pretty reliable. Just for penetration it is an issue. We still manage to get things working eventually but it seems like it is more work than it needs to be.
I have also been cutting carbs, and been feeling rundown and low on energy, which I know doesn't help. I also don't know if it is t-count, or iron levels.
If it is psychological, how do I deal with it? I like her and want to fuck her brains out. I know there are herbal supplements, like horny goat weed, cialis, vigara and Viagra. I am a bit worried I would come to rely on them.
I am really worried this is normal for 46 year olds even though this has never been an issue before.
tl.Dr. would like helpful advice for dealing with erectile dysfunction and identifying the cause.
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atticusfinch1973 10y ago
I'm in a similar boat and started to have a ton of sex in the past couple of months - whenever I have a problem with erections it is usually fatigue and bad diet.
I also started taking red Siberian ginseng and Vitamin D and it helped a lot too - my wood is definitely stronger and I'm able to have sex more often with less refractory period.
But maybe you just need some rest. I told my two plates today and tomorrow I'm busy because I had sex multiple times 4 of the last 5 nights. Us 40 year olds don't have it so easy.
daddymonsterpoodle 10y ago
Still trying to sort out my diet, as for sleep, about 2 weeks of it would be awsome. If it is 'just a mental thing' trying to fix that sounds more difficult to me. I have a few suspicions but only time will tell.
dandar4600 10y ago
I had it happen to me one week. It passed but that one week it was embarrassing and annoying as fuck to both me and my wife.
Since you're cutting, it could be it especially if it's combined with lack of sleep. Also make sure you're getting enough water.
crixusin 10y ago
I had this issue a couple times. Especially on a cut.
I just ended up buying liquid Cia for Rui-products. Never have to worry again since if there's an issue, you just take .3 ml of that shit and you turn back into a 14 year old.
[deleted] 10y ago
Try a cock ring. Viagra/cialis are fine to try. Probably you use it a few times and then discover you dont need it. Are you getting wood in the morning? Doubt you're having anything other than a mental hang up but having the viagra option is reassuring. Ask your doc to prescribe generic viagra aka sildenafil as its way cheaper. Way way cheaper.
daddymonsterpoodle 10y ago
A cock ring really only works if you have wood already I thought.
[deleted] 10y ago
Yea, it helps you keep wood after oral or hand or whatever.
sadpaanda 10y ago
Separated for about 8 months here. Late 30s.
Officially divorced for a few weeks from a HB9.5 (together for 15 years until she cheated.. Harsh times but TRP saved me!)
I didn't hang around and have had 4 opportunities the last 2 months. The first went ok, but was too drunk so didn't finish.
2nd & 3rd were no good... Couldn't get it up. Head was a mess. Same girl, early 20s. Hot body but maybe just a HB7. Was thinking too much about it.
The last one I got some sildenafil (viagra) wow... Bigger, harder, lasted longer... Just so happy it all still works. I'm 100% sure all my problems were in my head. Good to have the backup of the drug in case but not planning on taking it next time. Or maybe a half. I haven't read up on dependency... But I will now...
daddymonsterpoodle 10y ago
Thanks for that really open and honest reply. Not just me then...
Nodeal_reddit 10y ago
I hit a weird slump where I couldn't keep it up, so I got some meds. Worked like a charm. I never told my wife, but she'd always make comments about how hard I was when I used it. I can get it up and keep it up fine, but the meds add that extra stiffness that the lady seems to appreciate. I keep some in my drawer now for strictly recreational purposes.
SoRedSuchAlpha 10y ago
Step 1: Ask a freaking doctor Step 2: Stay the hell away from herbals; in most countries they're basically unregulated and you have no clue what you're buying Step 3: Make sure you're eating properly. This may require counting calories. It may require you to revisit step one. If you cut carbs and then got tired and flaccid, maybe you cut too many freaking carbs.
[deleted] 10y ago
I'll echo this. I knew a guy who was a big marathon/tri-athelete. He was looking to get an edge and ventured into the herbal realm. Bought some herbal teas that were supposed to help with energy and such.
Ended up with a serious opiate addiction so bad he was hospitalized for 3 months. It began destroying his body.
Mudpielol 10y ago
well, besides what has been said, are you watching porn and jerking off? If yes, try and stop and see if it fixes anything. By stopping I mean like 2 weeks or so, no porn and no masturbation.
You can also try some multivitamins (E, B complex etc) and ginseng. And check your blood sugar levels as well, while you're at it. I hope this helps, good luck.
daddymonsterpoodle 10y ago
Don't watch porn, don't masturbate very often anyway. Less than once a week...just been having sex.
Mudpielol 10y ago
hm... well, does not seem excessive. Stopping altogether for a while may help. May not, it's worth a try, up to you. Try getting a doctor's opinion as well.
psyflux 10y ago
Check out the ZMA, Vitamin D, Tribulus stack.
I do a 60 minute HIIT/SSC cardio routine five times a week. No problems to report.
everythingisthrown 10y ago
Try hitting it raw.
50pluspiller 10y ago
Are you on antidepressants?
I found ADs effects my erections during intercourse. I was at 3/4 hardness.
daddymonsterpoodle 10y ago
Nope, I might have a beer a night on hot nights. Don't smoke, inject, snort, lick, swallow any other sort of pharmaceutical, herbal or otherwise. Boringly clean living...
Apexk9 10y ago
Do you wear condoms? Is it the same brand or a new brand.
If I wear anything other then magnums the base ring cuts my circulation enough that I lose my erections.
daddymonsterpoodle 10y ago
Bragplaining? : ) no, condoms aren't the issue.
[deleted]
Apexk9 10y ago
Buy one you might be surprised, trust me.
batfish55 10y ago
I was living with a crazy hot chick when I was...22? 23? At any rate, after a year or so, I couldn't get it up. Happened on the regular. At 22-23. About a year later the relationship ended. My dick knew something bad was going on before my brain did.
46 ain't too old to get it up, not if you're in shape. And if you can get it up for a hando or a beej, but not for pussy, there might be something going on in your melon. Fuck, man, you divorced 3 months ago! You think you're already over it? I would say to see a shrink, but if you have good friends, go camping with your bros, get shitfaced drunk, and see what kind of things you start babbling about. You might be surprised what comes out.
daddymonsterpoodle 10y ago
Who can afford a shrink, you know its never just one visit. I am sure there is stupid shit going on in my head. Even if I work it out, then what? Getting drunk with my buddies is an awesome idea. I hardly drink so it is pretty easy to get hammered. There is a fair amount of shit I am wading through, custody, protection orders, rbuilding a house, no sleeping, surviving on one income instead of two, becoming a solo dad, etc... Maybe I am just being too hard on myself and expecting miracles for my body or brain to not crap out somewhere.
batfish55 10y ago
Time, dude. Don't be too hard on yourself. They say the best way to get over one woman is to get under another. Maybe try looking for a 2nd chick. You're a free agent again.
daddymonsterpoodle 10y ago
Yeah..I think part of it is my brain saying, "this feels like a relationship. Danger Will Robinson, Abort." Spinning another plate might help that.
daddymonsterpoodle 10y ago
Hey thanks for all the great advice guys. I was pretty self-conscious talking about this (even though it is an anonymous online community) but you guys proved me wrong.