She messaged you because things aren't going so well with the other guy she's fucking. The guy she left you for. On your birthday, probably so she wouldn't have to have obligatory birthday sex with your sorry ass one last time.

And girls love drama and closure. She needs a fix.

And this is not "a genuine apology".

Many people advised you not to reply and I agree with them.

And I explain you why:

We understand your feelings towards that woman. You feel connected, she is pretty, funny, movie nights, humor and what not. We might sound frustrated because it didn't work out in our life and so we turned to TRP. Maybe your relationship was different from our experience, right? Maybe if you hold on little longer it goes all back to normal, right?

Please stay with me here.

Picture yourself on the day of your LTR birthday. You love her to the death. A HB9 approached you the day before while you were looking for a birthday present for your princess and you shut that HB9 down. Today is her birthday and instead of surprising her with your gift you choose to move out of the apartment. You ignored her sad voice and tears on the phone while she was asking you to talk things out and see you on her birthday. Instead you move to another state and don't talk to her.

So 3 weeks later into living your new life. You get together with new people you have met and drink. You are tipsy and text your exLTR "Tipsy. I am so sorry. I hate that I have hurt you. And I hate myself everyday for it. I hope you're doing good."

Ask you this question please: Would you have behaved like that?

Probably not.

But if you would have behaved like her, what would have been your reasons?

Other /u pointed some out (fucking another dude, falling out of love) but the reason really doesn't matter, because behaving like her is only excused if you raped, beaten, made her do drugs or other acts against her will. I assume you did not perform those acts on her and therefore there is no excuse to be that cruel.

Try to ignore the past that your memory is spitting into your consciousness. Look at her actions. She is not calling. Not giving an upright apology. I am not saying she is not regretting her choice, I am just saying she is just not the person you should have in your life in order to be or stay happy.

If you feel like you have to give in into texting her back, I would text her something like "Thank you for your apology. I really needed to hear that. It would also really help me if you would pay the rent of the last six month. Thank you! Talk to you soon.

If she doesn't call you for the rent, but wants to build rapport with you, give her an ultimatum: "No other conversation topics till the rent is paid." If she doesn't agree on this one condition never text her again, never reply to her, never think about her ever.

If she pays the rent and is looking for coming back to you (which I don't recommend) make her work for it alot by never give in into her frame!

Delete the text and continue no contact. It will drive her crazy and heal yourself the best.

We've all been in your situation bro. Trust and believe us when we say she doesn't give a fuck about you really, she just wants to know she still has access to u.

Don't even bother reply to any of her messages. She doesn't care about u and never has. What your in love with is the v idea of a gf, not her as your gf. If she cared she never would've left on your fucking birthday before u even get home.

Just move on with your life and consider her dead. This is your first real red pill test. Don't reply to her.

[deleted]

Whatever the reason, your best interests were the furthest reason from it.

How much more do you want?

The fuck does it matter? You have so little going on that an ex has an impact on you?

Keep reading TRP and its contents. Go out and fuck more women. Hobbies. Friends.

Take it one step further......your brain and central nervous system is responding to the sudden withdrawal of serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin that were being generated by all the "feels" you've gotten in this relationship. 5 years is a long time for your nerve cells to develop additional receptors as a result of your body being awash in these additional hormones that re-inforce bonding, pleasure, attraction, etc.

You're going through drug withdrawal....seriously. You cannot negotiate with the healing time required.....between 18 and 24 months for your nervous system to re-balance itself.

Your pain is the pain a junkie feels when they go cold turkey. Not nearly as life-threatening but serious nonetheless. The process is identical.

No contact, losing phone numbers, deleting social media accounts, etc., jumpstarts the healing process.

Yep....your life really sucks right now as did everyone else's on this forum but like OFAFV stated in his first sentence, "Don't eat your own vomit."

Fuck her....she found herself another fella long before she dumped your silly ass.

Do this....

1) Lift, lift, lift. 2) Read all of the sidebars 3) Learn as much as you can about reproductive strategies....it's all about the biology. 4) Lift some more. 5) ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT. It's okay to be miserable and whiney but do not contact her. 6) She will not pay you the rent. This is a business loss. Mitigate by getting a male room mate. Don't bother chasing the money. 7) Stay engaged with the RP community. 8) Lift, lift, lift.

This is all about a painful re-birth for you. Sorry this happened but you ain't the only one.

Good luck.

[deleted]

Don't eat your own vomit.

Anyhow, she is messaging you because she feels/needs validation that you still care about her. If you fall for it, you will quickly see that she turns cold again and maybe after a few weeks goes warm... because she needs validation.

Don't reply at all. Let her wonder why. Let her wonder if you already have someone new or if you don't care about her anymore so fast. And this is your best bet to get her out of your life. Remember, you are BP as fuck, you do not want to be BP as fuck. So resist that urge to message her. As for the pain? Use it to improve yourself. Typical advice is to Lift. Emotional pain is great for it honestly and drowning your pain through lifting works wonders both for your emotional pain and your physical body.

As for "I'm happy with her", fuck you. Your mind is ignoring all her flaws and only remembering happy moments. Well your relationship wasn't even close to perfect so remember all the badshit. You then start wondering how the fuck it lasted so long and why you stayed with her so long.

Don't reply. It's hard, I know. But you must; you ought to. It's for your own good.

[deleted]

FWIW I've sort of been on the other side of this; I broke up with someone and felt bad over it. It's natural to feel bad when you know you hurt somebody. It doesn't mean she's trying to manipulate you or that she wants you back.

Just tell her you're doing well. You've moved on and see the breakup as positive because of new opportunities. You're not thinking of getting her back. Even if your frame of mind isn't there yet, act like it is and it will help you get there.

She is checking to see if she still has her hooks in you. Dont give her the satisfaction.

You need to get over her, and dont EVER give her another chance.

[deleted]

"Haven't gotten your rent check yet."