Howdy TRP world, bit of a long one but will break it down. Swallowed the red pill around July 2016 and been flourishing ever since with all the plate spinning. But this one just seems to be a difficult one that's left me troubled ever since.

TL;DR - Got back with an old flame known for 9+ years in the last 2 months. Decided I’m gonna escalate and bang. First time took her to a bar to escalate, failed - next time, but ok with me as it had been 3 years since we last saw each other. 2nd time at my place, escalated to 80% f-close, could see the battle in her eyes with wanting it so bad but holding back, ultimately next-time’d. 3rd time, took her to a bar, utilised venue hopping, building kino, lots of IOIs, interaction very hot, ticked virtually all boxes to close, but mistakenly hit the logic button which kicked in lmr at various points all evening, “next-time’d”. Now debating, what even next?

Here we go, get your drinks ready. Detailed for clarity.

So this girl I met years back in 2006 as teenagers and we had a bit of history, but over time we ended up fizzling out and losing contact around 2011. During this time we had many a minor relationship stint, with three occasions we could have banged around 2008-10, but I was my very naive/good guy self so I never closed the deal. Currently shes a HB7 I'd say.

She randomly messaged me on Facebook about 3 months ago reaching out to me to say hi, suggesting we meet and catch up. I pick up with this and thought why not, been a very long time: I’ve matured in that time.. and now is a good time to use my new TRP lifestyle - and really rock her world with upper echelon Sex God levels which has been working very well on old-flame-new-encountersSo, setting up the meet: I instantly suggest a busy bar in the city. Catch up was good: lots of cocktails, kino, laughs and dancefloor action. Get to the end of the night, escalating.. but met with LMR - understandably (at least I say so) as it’s been a while. Got next-timed so I thought no biggie, I’ll close it then.

The next time we met (we had a minor meet in a coffee shop during the day) was over at my place late on a Friday night. Perfect opportunity. She was out with friends that night, texted to see if i was home at about after midnight, told her straight to come round. Lots of banger, ioi's, ending up on the bed. Went in for the kiss and got rejected, but held back to try again a bit later. Even she was wondering if "she would get another chance" of me trying it on her when really acting aloof and cool yet funny. Left it a while and escalated, much further this time. Teased her and really got her mind going to add comfort and get her wanting it more than me. Kino, kissing her neck to really tease her, lots of push and pull to get her to snap and take the bait. Continued for a while but her ass/lmr kicked back in again. Even went as far as the 'if you say stop I'll stop' which worked.. but the deal just wasn't closed. "Next time'd", once again. It ended up getting very late, so instead of kicking her out we ended up cuddling till she left at 7am the next morning.

THIRD TIME - and yes, I know you're all prob slamming your heads into the wall at the key places I should have closed the deal - even I can see it now, but anyway. I was determined this time, and after a month or since that last encounter, a series of bar hopping was the deal. Cocktails flowed, lots and lots of kino, head-rolling laughter, banter and negging to disqualify her a little to keep interaction high and not samey. All the boxes being ticked. Got to bar number 2: Even conversation of a short sex story she once wrote years back came up (I too write short erotic stories) so convo was turning sexual: a good sign. Took a tequila shot each, lots of teasing and gentle putdowns on her ears with further kino while playfully making fun of her. Planning to exit to bar 3, and it's clear that even tho she's still coherent and cool, it's going to her head and shes catching a nice happy wave.

Shes visibly very flirty, and i go in for the kiss which she reciprocates fully. I think this is my go time and proceed to book an Uber back to mine.. but this is where it all falls apart. The uber arrives and i hint to go, but I'm hit with the "I'm not coming home with you tonight" resistance. I laugh it off, pull in some more kissing and start to move but she isn't having it. I play it cool, and prepare to end the night there to suggest she goes home on account of her being a bit too tipsy. Bit of pressure flipping I guess. Naturally she perks up denying she is, and is almost shocked that I'd tell her to go home, and flirtingly presses to go to the next bar. I cancel the uber, smiling and cool, amused mastery and all, still teasing her about going home and walk her towards the tube station, still holding frame, but in my mind it's a (with 10 being the highest) a code 5 panic situation thinking of my backup lays I had lined up. Walking in the direction to the station we keep walking, thinking I could still turn this around, so we headed to the next bar/club which surprisingly we had a great time - lots of laughs and very hot up close dancing, giving the crowd something to watch and enjoy.

Toward the end of our time there sitting in one of the booths I escalate like crazy, whispering things I'd do to her, all tasteful but dripping with leg-clenching-openthepoontownfloodgates detail, even going as far as sneakily kissing the back of her neck and ear, plus the gem of "when we go back, if you say stop ill stop," etc. The battle of deciding whether to or not was on her face and im confident she was realllllly liking all this, just conflicted as to deciding what to do next - but visibly, and admittedly very turned on. Eventually I tell her, let's go and we step outside, where I kiss her again to seal the deal.

Heres where im sure i dropped the ball.

Instead of acting on impulse and hopping into a cab, I was looking for a tiny bit more reassurance from her in being certain that she wanted this.. but failed to appeal to her urgency/feelings and went for the logic asking her if she was ready to come to mine. Big error - as it seemed to flick a tiny switch in her kind and even though she still looked so turned on, out came the words ".. next time."

Damnnnit Sam! Strike three.. you're out!

Now, being the rational minded girl she is, and still holding exceeding frame and the comehithereyes, I began to gently pressure flip stating it's now or never, still while keeping the sexual tension up. At this stage I think her mind was made up, despite another sweepheroffherfeetkiss, so still practising amused mastery and holding frame and trying to avoid any sign of desperation, I took her to the station where I remained aloof but very quiet - a version of dread game? - which really got her hamster going looking very concerned and worried that she'd "pushed me away". I kept it cool, with some small talk, and We parted ways at the station, her thanking me for the night - i gave a jokingly half-hearted hug which she called me out on (shit test, which I - you guessed it, failed, but passed) as I unzipped her jacket, gave her a 'proper' hug but cheekily squeezed the booty.

The next day: she texted to see I got home safe and how she couldn't think straight at all from turning her on so much, I kept it friendly and teased her back about needing a cold shower, her cheeky rebuttal of 'enjoying the sexual haze', I emoji smiled and said enjoy it. No further conversation.

So now! Here I am, frustrated (sexually only a hit in comparison to ) most importantly and significantly at all the places I should have escalated fully and closed/all the places I dropped the ball. Hindsight is 20/20 I guess. But now, I feel there's no 'next time' as ive tried almost too many times to be taken seriously and not close which I know is a turn off in a HBs eyes, and I feel to soft next to save face - but looks like im 'pouting as i didn't get what I want' so to speak. If and only if there's a next time I have a plan to 'get her to mine, bring a bottle of wine' and go from there, but that's iffff which I highly doubt.

What would you guys do in a sitch failing LMR like this, and what would you do next?

And sorry for it being so long - felt I had to include as much detail as possible to be clear.