I've been reading a few articles of illimitablemen on 'the suffering of the lost boys' (I have a weak father) and 'how to be happy'.

I accepted myself in spite of myself. I stopped beating myself up for being a loser and started praising myself for doing what I could to build myself.

Even if I don’t have the level of success/stature the ridiculously high standards of my ambition demand of me, I accept what I have and who I am as long as I do my best. Because your best is all you’ve got, to demand more than that is to dangle yourself a carrot that is constantly snatched away.

I enjoy the journey of becoming slightly less shit everyday, I enjoy the grind, the struggle, the hustle. You have to in order to get anywhere. And if my best isn’t enough, so be it. I will try something else. I’m fine with being imperfect.

In the beginning of the article:

Happiness is how you feel about yourself.

The struggle in life is raising your value. Be patient, it takes some time, ..

I think a lot of us someday felt our value to have been higher than it is now, even though you're improving through RP. When you were still blue and in a relationship, you felt like a king, you had a relationship, ... Although it might have been an illusion.

In my life, I've been in an LTR with an HB9, long before I even swallowed the pill. That made me feel great about myself (and thus I was happier than I am now (women are, alas, still part of my goals)), greater than I feel today as I can't lock down another HB9 (or +).

The stuggle for me is thus, even though I have all the TRP knowledge, and I try to apply it, I still look back to the days when 'how I felt about myself', was better than now.