Original: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3ucohv/got_selected_for_a_speed_date_with_a_vip_by/
What happened: I showed up a little late with a wingman (alas not a plate), she was already sitting in a circle with 12 other 'men'. Next to her was this orbiting PR guy, real low SMV. Apparently she's too dumb to count, 'cause in the end there were 16 candidates. They were hardly men, as they were the average male human: from 100% bèta to 50% bèta. Cue in me, red pill. The only one with a decent style, groomed, tall, somewhat muscular (tooting my own horn here). She got up and kissed me on the cheek, as she had done with all others. I joined the circle, sat down, took up some space. All the othes had their arms crossed, listening to her talk about herself, bad body language. I took up space, acted disinterested, checked my phone every now and again (texting my wingman about how pathetic it all was, 16 guys drooling over a 8 (because of her make up)).
After a while the speed dates started. She sat at a table 5 meters away and 1 by 1 we joined her, 5 minutes each. Next to her sat the PR dude. I didn't have any dinner so I had some food with my wingmen as the others waited, and after a while I went in 9th or so. Sat down, relaxed body language, introduced myself.
Me: hi, I'm rp_nc
Her: what do you do <for a living>?
Me: I'm a freelancer, and my hobby is knitting. But no boring questions please.
Her: ok no boring questions, but I would like to know what you do for a living.
Me: Look, you're here to find someone you're attracted to, not like those other 'male humans' over there. I'm a freelancer in IT and will be a substitute teacher for 8 weeks.
Her: oh I'm a freelancer as well! <High 5> I can see it from your face/eyes that you're an entrepreneur, <some positive blabla about being self-employed>
Her: Ok so no boring questions, I'll give you a dilemma: going out partying with me & friends, or doing some netflix with me and some wine?
Me: I like to go to festivals every once in a while but not a party animal, I prefer doing some netflix together. Also I don't like beer or wine, and the music is loud and I hate yelling at eachother.
Her: But you're not like my ex right? He wouldn't allow me to go partying and he thought he was always right. We got in all sorts of fights..
Me: No no, I'm a common sense of guy. <-- should've gone with I'm way worse than that.
Her: Oh so is there nothing you'd like to drink? Cocktails and such?
Me: Girly drinks from time to time.
Her: So next dilemma: thong or shorts?
Me: <... truthful, both are sexy, don't really care, wearing a shirt of mine is sexy as well ... > <- in retrospect, I think I should have gone with 'I prefer nothing at all' or the likes.
Her: Ok. You seem a really independent guy, I can see it in your eyes. You seem like a flutterer to me. (literal translation)
Me: < gave her a look of 'the fuck are you talking about' >
Her: I mean in a positive way.
Me: Yea, maybe.
Her: So how long has it been since you were in a relationship?
Me: Smirk.
Her: I mean, serious relationship.
Me: About a year <- should've done better here . My longest was 4 years. But I'm picky.
Her: Well that must have been serious
Me: Yea it was
PR: Time's up
Her: Oh cmon one more? <...> I'll think of something and come ask it later.
She sits on my lap (as with all others) for a picture. Hold her lower back and her hand (kino). She gets off, and slightly brushes her hand from my back over my shoulder. I go back to the group and talk with the other guys. Start/lead conversation. Not a typical wannabe alpha, it was funny to see there were some, especially in the group conversation before the speed dating.
I'm 100% convinced she's gonna pick me, as the others are all losers and the talk went very well. I join my wingman for some time and then join the others again. After the last guy she comes over to the group and says she's gonna talk to the PR guy to decide on 5, she'll pick the winner later.
5 minutes later she comes back but I'm not in the 7 (she really can't count) she mentions. I am baffled as I watch the onces she did choose: no style, no grooming, bèta, .. Not sure why..
edit: I was fine before her and I am fine after her. Still outcome independent, was only gonna use her to become The Patriarch of Hollywood as someone stated in the original. Although I must add that I do wonder why I didn't get selected (could've done better, but still)
Also I know I have have been acting like I was qualifying myself to her. The problem is the setup was like that and I'm not sure how I could've turned that around.
writewhereileftoff 10y ago
Thanks for the update. This kind of dates are more pr then anything else. Also the emphasis on what you do for a living should have been met with "I'm a professional speeddater or some bullshit of the like"
Anyways goed werk man. I didn't know the chick beforehand but I don't think you're missing out on anything.
[deleted] 10y ago
[deleted]
rp_nc 10y ago
thanks for this post, was hoping to get it in the original, but I learnt the hard way.
My answers are shown short, but I actually did talk a bit more. This is just to show how it went, but it's quite fuzzy.
You are right about the frame though. I just believe it would have been easier to lead if she weren't acting as / hadn't achied the status of the prize to be won. She used to work for the radio so she was used to chatting and 'leading a conversation', but indeed I should learn to lead, generally speaking.
This of course led to me qualifying, as I stated in the post above. I feel like 'qualifying to her' was the setup of the evening though, not sure what would have happened otherwise (in this specific case), also with the PR guy next to her.
I should work on my game as well.
Thanks for the feedback, cause I had no idea what lesson to take from this.
(I still wonder why she chose the others over me though, they could never have done better than me..)
superbad4life 10y ago
Thanks for the message with the update.
And totally agree with /u/writewhereileftoff. Had a PR guy next to her so she needed someone who was going to be good going out. I found it interesting that you didn't say that you were a party animal (but if you're not it makes sense). In either case, you probably would've done fine but the fact that it was a public relations deal and a speed date (almost stupid in itself) probably screwed you over. Seems well played though, and you implemented RPT.