So I finally managed to get a girl's number and go out on a date in early March with a fairly thick black girl I met on okcupid, and she took my virginity on our second date. I was a social outcast at an all boy's high school (a combination that made me very feminist during that period since I had no contact with girls and hated my classmates) and now I'm at a commuter school with a full ride scholarship studying cs. I'm 21 (about to turn 22) years old and generally feeling down about this whole situation.

Last year, there was this really hot but psychotic bitch I knew who I visited in jail at least every other week over a period of several months. Of course, once she got out she fucked literally every dude she knew except for me. At least she pushed me towards the red pill and showed me where to buy cheap, good looking clothes (although fashion still isn't exactly my forte). Plus she helped me out with my online dating profile and gave me lots of photos to put on there from the times we spent together, so she may well have been crucial in getting me to the next level.

The girl I am dating doesn't really interest me that much sexually, but at least she's a genuinely good person who isn't bitchy or anything at all, which is still such a relief for me several months after permanently ditching the crazy girl. If what trp says about American woman is generally true (I wouldn't consider myself experienced enough to know), then I suspect the fact that she's from a third world African country (and hence is also not "black" or ghetto at all) may have something to do with this. Only problem is that I want a good looking white chick.

I thought that finally having sex and having a girlfriend would make me feel like a man and make me confident and shit, but it really hasn't. All it's done is raise the bar. This is discouraging.

I went out and bought some cool shirts today and I've been working out. I am enrolled in a class where there should be some decent looking girls, though I'm not at all sure how to "game" them. I've done cold approaches a few times before and even got a number once, only to have the girl text me that she wasn't interested. I guess it was nice of her not to reject me to my face.

Anyway, I know this is kind of a rambling post, but basically I'm facing a combination of not knowing how to pick up girls with the fact that I would feel extremely awful about hurting the girl I'm currently with and also not wanting to break up with her and face loneliness. Plus there's just the fact that I'm tired as fuck of living in Dallas but I'm stuck here for at least the next year or so. What does trp think about all this?