Every guy I know who has a lot of success of women, even personalities from the internet like RSD Tyler, are people who talk rather fast, laugh about lot of things, be active and "alive".
It's the complete opposite I read here where you should be calm, relaxed, confident your in body by slowly moving your head and hands, take time to answer a question and so on. Things like stoic and keep frame is often talked in regard to be non reactive.
What is the best way to act if you could chose a personality to get a lot attraction from women?
oldredder 11y ago
If you're too calm & relaxed that only suits a different kind of environment and they're not in it. Also you may end up seeming so aloof you're boring. If you show no interest first what are you going to do so that she shows interest and approaches you?
If you don't initiate & she doesn't then nothing happens.
dongpal 11y ago
yeah but Im also talking about while/after approaching . when you start talking which temperament do you want to chose to have optimal/most likely success ?
oldredder 11y ago
Change the pace & emotional reaction you expect from her to keep the energy going. It's OK to say a thing she'll have an emotional reaction to that's negative (sad, depressive, scary, disgusting) as long as you follow it up right away with its opposite. You don't need to feel it, just her. If you keep too slow a pace she may get bored or distracted & ignore you / leave before you actually finish saying what you're saying.
Think of cats with laser-pointers and other people are distracting her with another laser-pointer even though you've already got her attention.
If we're in a high-energy environment I'm never going to slow the pace down. That's a subconscious bummer to her & even if what you're saying is "interesting" in another environment in that environment you're BORING & nexted.
Depends on the age/attention span of the girl. I'm going for 20-25 and the younger they are the more easily distracted. When I'm dealing with a more mature 25-35 I may be in another venue, like work, or grocery store, on the bus, whatever, so attention-span & energy of the environment is all different.
Don't shit where you eat rule: I happily discard this for new-hires because if she's uncomfortable she can quit (a lot will regardless) and I'm not going to feel guilty. For others... rule absolutely applies although that doesn't stop some people... there are several couples at work where I am, long-term ones too, so obviously it works for some people but it is a risk.
TekkomanKingz 11y ago
It depends on whatever comes natural to you. Don't try and force things, but if you want to become a chatterbox by all means do so. Just don't play up that aspect of yourself until it's fully fleshed out.
dongpal 11y ago
and if the natural one isnt well perceived by women which reduces my success with women, what then?
fyseaking 11y ago
Keep working on it. Without actual statistics of you meeting several women, don't worry about any "what ifs" because you'd just hamstering about more what ifs. Get out there and be yourself in an RP way.
momomotorboat 11y ago
These might be bad examples, but when I think of actors who have lots of charisma, charm and can hold frame, I think of RDJ and George Clooney. From what I've noticed, RDJ talks in a much more energized, sometimes frenetic pace, while Clooney speaks in a more relaxed and deliberate manner.
They both work. Find your own way that suits your steeze.
oldredder 11y ago
Credit to writers & directors for Clooney on screen, he's an actor & does what his job says to do.
Unless you're watching how he picks up off-film you can't go on that.
zxDanKwan 11y ago
Being non-reactive is a different matter than being active or even proactive.
TRP advocates that you not fall into other people's frame. For most guys that requires they hold themselves back a bit, so as to not be too quick to agree with others and appear like they are just "yes men".
As others have said, you need to decide for yourself what type of man you will be. You might be the type who leads by getting out in front of others and being the first to speak. You might be the type who holds a steady and even pace to keep everyone else moving consistently forward.
Nice thing is that it gets to be your decision.
vandaalen 11y ago
Personally I've come to speaking much slower, calmer and quieter. I have a very loud voice, and was actually even kicked out of a club when I was twenty because the owner was annoyed by it.
I will sometimes speak so quiet that people are forced to concentrate and listen to what I've got to say. I deliberatly practiced this in combination with lowering my voice.
This can also become fun, since some people get really annoyed at you for forcing them to pay more attention to your words.
Just experiment with everything and look what you feel comfortable with and what suits your personality. I'd say the only thing to avoid is, to sound like a excited or upset boy.
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vandaalen 11y ago
I am German, so maybe it's my heritage? ;)
ConfidenceMatters 11y ago
Depends on the venue and context.
In a club, you want to get a hottie's attention, you're not gonna do it unless you speak loud and clear enough for her to listen/understand you.
But at a cafe of in yours or her apartment, tone that Club energy down because you'll just look like a fool when shit gets more intimate
etc
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StenbergTom 11y ago
Great feedback man.
dongpal 11y ago
How? I cant indicate how good something is by listen to peoples reaction since they never say the truth or even know if "it works".
ugdr6424 11y ago
Try one either route. See if you get the number, kiss, fuck, or none of the above. Repeat several times to make sure the results are not just a fluke.