Hey all, Finally decided to get into this discussion after what took place with one of my girls yesterday. A little background info: This girl and I have a history. We were in a LTR a couple years back and I cheated on her and she found out. I broke it off even though she was willing to forgive me but I felt that I was only going to do it again and it was a sign that I needed to move on from her. I could have cut her out for good but she never really let me. She would hit me up all the time, stayed in close contact with my girl friends that she had gotten close to when we were together, and even showed up at places where she knew I would be to try and get back with me. I resisted for a while, probably 6 months or so, but it's hard to deny sexual chemistry when you have it with someone. Long story short we fell into a plate situation where we would bone but it was known that we were both free to see and pursue other people.
This continues for the last year and a half. I've disclosed the relationships and sexual encounters that I've had because I have enough respect for her and she presses me about it when she thinks something's up (and she's usually right). She recently (within the last 6 months) started telling me about the guys she's seen. Kinda BBux from the sounds of it b/c they took her out and shit but she was fucking them too. Not having any real grounds judge or be angry I shrugged these off easily. I figured, if they're any good then she wouldn't be coming back to me so often. This changed yesterday when she told me that she had fucked this guy black-out drunk when they had gone out to the bar with this mutual friend of theirs about a month ago. First thing I ask is, "well did you at least use a condom?" She can't hide the guilty look on her face. She tried to hamster it away saying that it "just kind of happened" and I tried to hold my ground and not show that it bothered me. On the inside I'm thinking, "So just by virtue of being drunk in the same place as you at the end of the night this dude gets to fuck you bare-back the first time you ever meet?" I at least have had the respect to use protection with other people because she and I never do. I know she's on BC and always has been. It was something that I trusted about her and it added a certain appeal; it made her my main plate. Now I'm going to get tested, I'm fucking furious wanting to find out who this mother-fucker is and make him shit out his teeth, and I'm completely turned off by her. I can't touch her without thinking of how this other faggot was doing the same thing. On top of that I'm mad that I'm even mad about it because it shouldn't phase me and hasn't in the past but the whole raw-dog element of it just fucking makes my blood boil.
This is all very unlike me so I need some advice from some like-minded people. So far, I have held my frame and not let it show that it bothers me. My question is, do I continue to hold frame and play it off like I don't give a shit, or do I put my foot down, take control and call her out to make her feel bad about it? If it were just any old plate I would have no problem walking away but this girl and I have a history and fucking killer sex. Is it time for me to cut this girl out forever now that I see her true colors?
TL;DR- My main plate, with whom I have a long history, fucked another dude raw-dog and now I'm pissed because I thought I was the only one getting that privilege. Do I hold frame and act like I'm above it and don't care, or do I put her in her place by showing that I won't stand for it?
kick6 11y ago
Dude, she's your girlfriend and you have side pieces. You caught feels. Nothing wrong with it, but you need to admit it to yourself.
followtheRaven 11y ago
Hold frame and stop caring. Start using a condom with her, both to let her know that she is no longer your main girl and to prevent your dick from falling off. She won't like this, but will have to give in to stay with you.
You probably won't like it either but now you can upgrade another girl and then peace has been restored in your kingdom.
yarrrRP 11y ago
That's a fantastic idea. I think that's even more symbolic than just not fucking her altogether.
[deleted] 11y ago
Are you that hard up for sex? It's ok if you are, worse things have been known to happen. But just think about it. If it's really affecting you that much, just stop having sex with her. I think you'll get over it, but in the meantime game some new girls harder.
[deleted] 11y ago
You should never trust a plate enough to have unprotected sex with her. She's a plate for a reason - do you really want to expose yourself to every other guy she could be having sex with and not telling you about? Do you really want to risk knocking her up?
This woman has zero ability to make good decisions because she had no qualms about having unprotected sex with two different men. Do not gamble your health and future on the integrity of a plate.
captainbloodd 11y ago
Stop being so angry and realize that what she does when she's not with you is out of your control. You can't blame the guy who raw-dogged her, most guys would have done the same thing. It was bound to happen at some point.
You can't really be mad at her either. Look at it this way, she was honest with you about it. A lot of girls would have lied just to save face or avoid an uncomfortable situation. I doubt she was black-out drunk though, that's just her rationalizing her behavior, as you said.
Think of all your plates as being the same. A plate is just that. No one plate is more "special" then the other. Making a plate more special than all the other girls is called getting into an LTR.
vox_veritas 11y ago
Covert contract. Look it up.
tylerdurden100 11y ago
"I'm fucking furious wanting to find out who this mother-fucker is and make him shit out his teeth, and I'm completely turned off by her. I can't touch her without thinking of how this other faggot was doing the same thing On top of that I'm mad that I'm even mad about it because it shouldn't phase me and hasn't in the past but the whole raw-dog element of it just fucking makes my blood boil."
It sounds like it's more than the raw-dog issue. To me it sounds like you have feelings for this girl. That's understandable, you were in a LTR with her at one point. You're becoming too invested and caught up in her. Distance your self from her, focus on other plates. Don't act out or try to punish her for fucking other guys. She is a plate after all.
PartyPaul80 11y ago
Next this broad. Why the hell are you not using condoms? There's no excuse unless you are prepared to become a father or are looking forward to scheduling your next doctor's appointment for testing. Your "history" with this person is clouding your ability to realize that she isn't worth it. Get smart, workout, get paid, smash pussy.
xiko 11y ago
The only time you shouldn't use a condom is when you don't care if she gets pregnant.
Haptic_Affinity 11y ago
Bad decisions were made.... You can't really be angry with anyone but yourself. I may be wrong, but it would aid you to reconfigure your expectations of women
pupplenupple 11y ago
She's a plate, doing what she wants between spins is the only advantage her situation offers her. Just remember that.
_SEEING_RED 11y ago
Read Daniel Rose's Sex God Method. He suggests not getting mad at her, going to get tested with her, and I also think not fucking her bareback any more is a good idea.