TL;DR Ex-Girlfriend comes back into life. We hang out tomorrow. What do I do with her to commence plate spinning?
I'm usually a lurker but I really want an answer to this. This might be a bit long so bear with me! A plate could be on the line!
So about a week or two ago, I'm scrolling through Facebook when I see an old ex-girlfriend of mine. I promptly add her and not ten minutes later she accepts the request. I proceed to message her and we begin to talk about life, how each of us has been, etc (it's been two years since we've actually talked). She then gives me her number and tells me to text her because she "hates facebook" (so why are you on it?) Anyways, I text her saying that we should hang sometime, but due to her having midterms and her spring break being next week she said she wouldn't have time. After that I don't talk to her for a couple days and she messages me telling me she won't be able to take her spring break trip because of her back and she's going to stay home. I told her let's hang out next Monday when either of us are busy. Well Monday is tomorrow and I don't know what I should do with this girl. I want to start spinning her as a plate, but how do I go about doing this? I mean she's clearly interested in hanging, I just don't know how much more interested she is. I was thinking she can come to my house and I grill some steaks and we have a couple drinks and talk. I didn't think that was too much along the lines of a "couple's date". Any help would be appreciated!
[deleted] 11y ago
paragraphs are not dangerous, try them out more often
you are way to fresh for the conversion to work, but the fun part is failing and learning it doesn't kill you
get another girl ASAP, let the ex know you have another girl
stop caring about what she thinks, enjoy yourself on the "not dates"
it's like there aren't billions of girls you haven't met yet, dying to meet you
[deleted] 11y ago
Telling me my frame is pathetic then showing me a snippet of my text doesn't explain what I did wrong? ??
[deleted] 11y ago
Fair enough, it probably isn't obvious to you, but believe me, it's more obvious to her that it is to me, she was born with the ability to smell this shit.
you wanted to reconnect with an ex, this means at the very least you don't have a girlfriend and still care enough to want to see what her relationship status is.
This means nothing, to her, because you initiated what she read was: jamaicansarcasm is single and wants to see how your life is. And I gotta ask how do you know it was 10 minutes exactly, where you refreshing the page continuously for 10 minutes?
you again initiate contact I'm guessing immediately, which is always a sign of neediness.
she understood: I am still invested in you enough that I'll listen to your bullshit.
She gave you her number because she is interested in you pursuing her on her terms therephor again you have to reach out.
I hate facebook=I have actually interesting shit to do (on facebook) right now.
not so fast there js, I said my terms, pipe down and I'll call you when I'll get bored.
I'm an interesting person with an interesting life, unlike you(you may think this is just me being gratuitously mean, but women genuinely assume they are better than you in every way if you're lower status).
Now this is a fun one, she realised you aren't all that bad or she probably got some hit to her ego or both. But her hamster spun that into life is unfair I'll give you a chance to impress me.
I want to go back in time invest in bitcoin when it was 10 buck a piece and sell it with a return of 10000%. What can I do about it?
I joke, I like your naivete and your username. But seriously, try my steps, especially finding another girl, when the issue comes up, you say you're dating. If you already spilled your beans and sayd you're as lonely as myspace say : funny enough I just met someone last week. and stop talking about it afterwards. Your behavior should be as passive as with a pesky friend.
Plate spining is as hard as it's name sugests, and your trying to start out with a cast iron one, but what ca I say if you learn to enjoy failing everything in life will be easy.
Good luck
classicjimmy 11y ago
If you broke up with her, there was probably a reason why you broke it off, and it probably has not gone away. If she broke up with you, she tried to do better than you, and couldn’t. I am always weary of exes. That being said, if you just want to fuck her on the side, power to you, but make sure that’s it. I strongly advise against getting back into a realtionship with an ex. There was a reason it ended the first time. Remember that.
[deleted] 11y ago
It ended because I stopped caring and she was smart enough to leave me for that.
fx-115es 11y ago
what do you mean?
[deleted] 11y ago
When we dated I neglected her a bit and then she broke up with me and started things off with some other dude a little later.
fx-115es 11y ago
why?
rebuildingMyself 11y ago
Sounds like a hamster
GaiusScaevolus 11y ago
Fuck her.
In all seriousness, your plan sounds decent. Something that can reasonably lead to sex in a relatively quick manner.
[deleted] 11y ago
That's what I'm looking for. It's clear I want to fuck her. Just don't know how I can advance that. We've never had sex before...
kick6 11y ago
What exactly is this "hanging" that she's "clearly interested in?"
It sound to me like you're attempting to friendzone yourself, bro. Assume the sale. And by "the sale" I mean assume she's down to pound. If she's not...what's the worst that could happen: a girl you haven't spoken to in years disappears again? Oh no!
aaron_the_just 11y ago
Actually, she's practically forcing herself on him:
(1) Switches from FB to text (usually I'm the guy who initiates that, not the girl)
(2) Spring break plans are conveniently cancelled
(3) She straight up tells the guy to make plans to "hang out".
Thankfully women aren't completely deranged sluts, or else she would have just said "Please fuck me at your earliest convenience".
kick6 11y ago
so yea...assume the sale.
aaron_the_just 11y ago
Indeed. Ex girlfriends rarely want to be "just friends". It happens occasionally but it's rare.
gt35r 11y ago
From the way she handled speaking with you, even adding you so quickly, I would definitely be careful about how you approach this. There could be two reasons why she is agreeing to this.
A. She might just want a friendly type hookup since she knows you and dated you, you would be an easy and comfortable lay for her.
B. This is the way that you dont want it to go. She legitimately thinks you are reaching out to her because you miss her and want to rekindle some type of relationship.
What you need to do is establish immediately what your intentions are so you don't lead into this giving her the wrong idea. Get her to your place, fuck her brains into oblivion, go from there.
[deleted] 11y ago
I really hope its not the second one. I mean she is a strong independent woman and I respect that... I just don't know if a or b will happen. Instead of flat out saying I wanna have a fuck buddy relationship with you. Whats a different way I can approach that.
I hit her up today because I said id make a plan and I told her we can chill at my place or hers (she isnt 21 so we cant go anywhere worthy) and she replies by telling me I can come to her house whenever I want.
fx-115es 11y ago
Dude, she hasn't been your girlfriend, she is not your ex. She is a failed approach. You can give it another try. Make your intent clear as soon as possible. Push for sex, if she flakes stop trying.
aaron_the_just 11y ago
Commence immediate kino and bang her the same night. (Wear your condoms and don't get her pregnant!)
Don't do any goofy "dating" activities. You can do those later in the week after you've had lots of sex. A good one is to reenact your first date.
I'm currently spinning an ex-wife and two ex-gfs -- I find it's truly the best kind of relationship there is, as you have lots of shared history, but the resentments and expectations of commitments are in the past.
[deleted] 11y ago
How do I commence kino and smash time? I mean surely I can do something else other than flat out telling her let's fuck
aaron_the_just 11y ago
Sure, you can, but doing so is a waste of time.
I'm assuming you guys had a sexual relationship before that you both enjoyed.
When she arrives, go, "We doing this?" and then push her up against the wall and make out with her. Draw things out with a half hour of teasing. Then have sex.
Then you can go do other things.
If she is disgusted by making out with you you don't want to hang out with her. Leave, and go do something fun for spring break.
[deleted] 11y ago
Nah we never had sex. We did everything but. I had a relationship with her about 4 years ago so we were kinda young back then. Idk about her sexual history now but she was a virgin when I was dating her.