Hello all.
As the title says, how do you handle it?
Background: I've moved to a new country with my job. My gf is devastated, throws a few tantrums, cries, but eventually she accepted it, acknowledging that it's a step up in my career.
Three weeks in and I already did a 2 day visit to home to see her. Generally she's depressed, crying and we're fighting alot over nonsense.
In ~4 months she'll finish college and (in theory/theory) she's gonna move here so things should improve pretty fast then; but until then?
What can I do to keep things afloat and going for a few months? She'll come visit in another 2 weeks and I think I can go visit her monthly.
Also, what's your take on cheating and getting a plate in the meantime given the current situation?
oldredder 11y ago
do not permit - it's over already. She'll fuck other men while she's gone, she may or may not admit it
R3v4mp3d 11y ago
From what and how she talks I'm assuming she's loyal. I'm also her first (was a virgin before me) so I'm guessing this gives me extra points.
bicepsblastingstud 11y ago
Throughout most of human history, it was common for men to leave for months or years at a time, communicating only with letters (or not at all).
This is an amoral sub, so you should be able to do as you like without being jumped on by posters here.
I, personally, feel that this would be shitty of you. I'm assuming you promised to be exclusive; for me, my word is bond.
Recognize that 4mos is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Overall, though, sounds like you're not working with your girlfriend as a partner. You should be the leader, but she should be your right-hand (wo)man.
R3v4mp3d 11y ago
She has a strong and determined personality so very often we clash. She also tends to be very pessimistic and keeps seeing the dark side of things.
Each time she says she's sad because of my departure I try telling her stuff like: Look! 1 month passed already! Only 4 more to go!
I've tried to throw some glitter in the whole scheme of things: discussed with her a one week vacation in a foreign country during the next 4 months and the idea delighted her. Cue 3-4 more days and she's sobbing again because she's feeling lonely.
Her general grim outlook on things and the fact that we're pretty compatible in bed (which implicitly makes me somewhat "starving") combined with positive interaction that I'm getting with women around here make me think about promiscuity.
I need something to keep her calm and in check for 4 more months. She's working part time (4h/ day) and she's in college where in 4 months she's supposed to present her thesis (hence why the 4 months wait until she can move).
Quick edit: Thanks for the reply! I'll be waiting for any new ideas/ updates/ takes on the matter.
[deleted] 11y ago
This was before the rise of feminism. Are you suggesting that this type of behavior would be suitable in today's time?
thrway1312 11y ago
Not to mention the fact that these women would often be sleeping around while the man was away.
Masonjarteadrinker2 11y ago
Eh, it's up to the person, I would bang other chicks but that's up to you man.
[deleted] 11y ago
So you're gonna have her move in with you?
Does she have a job lined up? What about friends?
You realize every thing that goes wrong for her once she moves to be with you, will be your fault right?
Read Rollo's article "letting go of invisible friends"
http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/20/letting-go-of-invisible-friend/
R3v4mp3d 11y ago
Job lined up: she's smart enough to pass the interview for the company I'm working at. That plus the fact that I'll be recommending her (recommending someone always increases the chances of getting the person hired) should do the trick.
Friends: well there's me, and me; oh and myself I guess. This might be hard but since I did it and made friwnds really fast, she should manage it easier since she already has me here.
kingofpoplives 11y ago
I you only need to keep things afloat for 4 months, that should be doable.
If you're gonna cheat in the mean time, at least take precautions to ensure that does not blow up in your face when your gf moves in.
R3v4mp3d 11y ago
Care to detail on the "how to keep things afloat" part please?
kingofpoplives 11y ago
See each other as much as possible. Keep in contact, but make sure your texting rate is less than hers.
4 months isn't too long, especially when there is a plan to reunite at the end of that. You should be fine, assuming this girl is into you.
LDRs mainly go bad because staying committed when you aren't getting sex (because of the distance) puts the guy in an extremely beta position. Women being women, you add that together with the void of the distance, and it's just a matter of time until she's looking for someone new.