My current girlfriend who I recently became serious about, were talking for the past 10 months. She told me today that about 5 months ago she hooke up with her ex. She swears that it didnt mean anything and it was an accident but obviously I find that hard to believe. I care about here but obviously I'm not trying to let her get an inch. What should I do?
EDIT: I have decided you all are right, I wasn't being Beta enough to her, a cease transmission has commenced. Thanks for the responses!
[deleted] 12y ago
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[deleted] 12y ago
She said that she didn't think that I liked her on an emotional level at that time. We never had that "talk" I suppose but we hungout all the time slept together, went on dates, etc, so how could we not be on the same wavelength? How could she honestly think we were just fuck buddies? That might be my own rationalisation trying to remedy the situation.
dotrar 12y ago
No shame in it really. just gather what you can learn from this and move on.
next time, you need to be forward with how the relationship is going to work, take charge, so there's no "chance" for "confusion".
next her, learn, apply to next relationship.
[deleted] 12y ago
Perffect example of hamstering right there.. "It wasn't cheating since I didn't think you had an emotional connection with me". I guess its your choice, but downgrade her to a plate or next her would be my advice.
thepillwastaken 12y ago
Yep, nailed it.
"Im going to blame you for my mistakes. It's your fault I fucked someone else".
[deleted] 12y ago
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[deleted] 12y ago
They weren't official at that point.... She thought that they were fuck buddies because OP never said otherwise. It's pretty normal to have sex with more than one person when you're single.
[deleted] 12y ago
Well it seems that you two weren't officially dating, not sure why you would expect someone you're not dating to only hook up with you.
workfish 12y ago
I don't know how you're the only one in this thread that gets this. They weren't dating. This is like a plate getting mad at you for hooking up with someone else. If you never had the conversation, it's not exclusive. Yes, OP is being a bitch, but it's because he thought they were a couple when they clearly weren't.
robesta 12y ago
You guys are correct, but it's revealing about the chick. She obviously had an emotional connection with OP and was fucking another dude. She shouldn't want to if OP is fulfilling her needs several times a week.
Next her or plate her. She's not LTR material.
[deleted] 12y ago
Exactly. If OP had said "My fuck buddy is mad that I hooked up with someone else 6 months ago" everyone would be posting about how she's a needy bitch and it was never official.
[deleted] 12y ago
Because if they weren't considered dating then she wouldn't be rationalizing by saying it was an accident. Relegate her to plate or dump, I would just dump. A girl on that many cocks at once is a risk.
workfish 12y ago
Think about it from this perspective. 5 months into hooking up, this guy hasn't made a move to make the relationship committed. Since its up to the guy to make that move, she's unsure if she'll ever get commitment from this guy. So she goes and meets up with her ex again. Maybe he had been texting her, maybe she texted him, who cares. She knows she's gotten commitment from him before, maybe it's worth another shot. They fuck, she realizes she'd rather risk it with OP than settle for her ex again. This is plausible and does not necessarily mean the girl isn't ltr material. Disclaimer, I don't do ltrs, but I don't think I'm far off here.
pleasedontknowme30 12y ago
why do women (and men do it too) call these things "accidents". An Accident is fucking with a condom, pulling out and realizing it broke. An accident is driving down the highway, dodging an animal but hitting a car instead. An accident is working construction and having something break and having to repair it.
VOLUNTARILY doing something and regretting the decision IS NOT AN ACCIDENT. FML.
theycallme1 12y ago
"EDIT: I have decided you all are right, I wasn't being Beta enough to her, a cease transmission has commenced. Thanks for the responses!"
You weren't being beta enough for her? You're in beta overload right now though. How old are you and your soon to be ex chick?
Look up trickle truths, chances are she is releasing some guilt by giving you some info...but not all of it.
Good luck, and move on. Don't rationalize for her.
laere 12y ago
"accident" is basically the female hamster at work. also blue pill males tend to use this somewhat as well, thus removing her agency.
DKRises 12y ago
If she cheats once, she will cheat again. Hands down.
Anything she says to you is bullshit to make you second guess yourself into thinking, "she won't do it again" "maybe I'm overreacting", which once you forgive her, she just hides it better next time.
Pervnut 12y ago
Bullshit.. She know what she was doing, this is what you do.... Fuck her in the mostly dirtiest way possible and the next day cut her off entirely... Case closed..
derpthetroll 12y ago
Yes. The TRPs have spoken. That bitch needs to go. Only way she stays is as a spare tire but never as ltr.
[deleted] 12y ago
It was an accident? Did she snag her clothes on a nail, have them ripped off, then trip and fall straight onto his naked dick? If not, it wasn't an accident. 10 months? Dump and move on.