Been recently going to get drinks on first dates. I’m living with my family again after living alone at university so my place is out of the question. A lot of girls around my age range are also living with their parents too until they plan to move out.
What tips do you use to screen for logistics on the first date?
My last date went with drinks -> flirting -> asked her to watch a movie we were talking about at her house -> she said she lives with her parents still -> car make out -> tried to escalate more but she wanted to go slower. As you can see this is not ideal and I would prefer to not hook up in a car anymore.
I have another first date coming up with similar logistics she lives with her parents and we’re getting drinks near her place.
To answer my question I have two solutions
-
Follow the same steps and see if she’s willing to invite me back to her parents house
- If not suggest a hotel we can go to
- Don’t attempt to f close on the first date. I’ve heard some people saying this increases the chances of the second date lay, this would also make it easier to invite her to a hotel the next date
mikehalloween 1w ago
This is a great resource for newcomers to TRP. The sidebar links and FAQ compilations are super helpful for understanding the core concepts. It's good they emphasize focusing on goals rather than just labeling behavior. On a lighter note, after absorbing all this, maybe create a fun cartoon profile pic using an AI Cartoon Generator to add some personality.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
You guys need the right vibe for sex.
Sheer game will only get you so far. How she FEELS about you and the encounter is going to result in sex more often
Also Right guy. Right time. Right place is also a standard caveat. There are always unseen factors influencing if a woman would or wouldn't fuck you right now
universitythrowaway Should i (x1) 1w ago
Can you elaborate a bit more on this?
Can you elaborate a bit more on this?
The general vibe on dates that I go on is good. I know how to lead the conversation and it flows easily. We have fun talking. Slight kino which I could probably increase. But overall I move locations and escalate more by making out.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
That isn't vibe. Your connection to women and the entire atmosphere and future planning they do in their head when they are with you is the vibe
qzone 1w ago
Part of game is lining up logistics so that for the girl it "just happened". In time, if it important to you enough, that may mean an apartment with 4 roommates so you can afford it and still save money close to the bars. Have no shame in rearranging your life to get laid, just understand the sacrifice you are making financially. I will say as well, I have taken quite a few young cool chicks back to hotels. If a rocket that is cool as shit wants to smash, get that hotel. If a hot chick wants to fuck you, do it and don't wait. That's just my perspective though. Final thought, you would be surprised, some chicks will offer to pay for the next hotel if you get the first one.
throwaway415 1 1w ago
some will offer to pay for the first and the second
First-light 2 1w ago
As Vermilion has said, it depends to an extent on things beyond your control and even beyond hers too in some cases, This means its less about hard rules, more about good preparation and reading the situation.
Have a hotel in mind, have the cash ready, that's good prep but then go in with no preconceived plan. Just show her you are keen on her and be reactive to her response. Don't lose sight of the goal -good sex, not sex tonight or even escalation as far as you can go, just good sex with a keen attractive girl when the situation is ripe for it.
Sometimes, if you read things right, the answer is next, other times she is genuinely interested but for a whole number of possible reasons this is not the right moment for her to feel like sex with a stranger, it will happen and happen better with more time. Then other times she is well up for it and your preparation will pay off.
Getting her feeling relaxed and at ease is important because without this escalation is rarely successful or even if it is successful it rarely leads to a good encounter. If you have a smooth ready solution to how she is feeling, it helps. Drinks do not easily lead to sex without an in between stage of getting comfy physically with each other. Going back to a house, sitting on the sofa and starting to touch that way is a good step (but one which you can't do) but going straight for the "lets get a hotel" is only going to be taken up by an unusually keen girl or a hardened hoe used to meeting strangers and getting banged in motels. Is there a stage you can take it to in between where you are are in a less public formal setting than a bar?
Dancing is one solution, old fashioned holding hands and kissing at the movies might work, going for a walk hand in hand in the moonlit park? or a next date that "does" something more practical together as opposed to just sits and talks. You can make out in the car but again its a rather artificial situation unless you already can't keep your hands off each other before you get in the car. It becomes like "right now its make out time" but she needs to feel she wants to make out before you make out, that's the whole secret of good escalation. I think you might do well to think how you can do that middle stage of not sexual physical contact (can be loaded with desire but its not actually sexual, its just getting her warmed up for the make out). The she will snap your hand off at the idea of the hotel -what girl does not like to be taken to a hotel provided she feels comfortable with the man?
mattyanon Admin 1w ago
You can work out her living situation before the date.
Yep.
This isn't really screening because you're not going to eliminate girls living with their parents. It's more like information gathering.
Honestly it's a fucking pain if you don't have a place of some sort.
I wouldn't count on it. First date and then "come back to my parents" is unlikely.
Tricky, I'll come back to this.
This is my experience. It depends on who you are, who she is, the types of girls you get and want, and your general vibe.
Weirdly, this is probably not changeable. Optimum for you is probably fixed due to yours and their preferences.
For me - I don't go for early sex, but conversely I can easily keep girls around for years without exclusivity.
Hotels are logistically horrible because you don't want to book it and have her not come back there. So you need her to agree, and then you book it and check in and that usually just feels too sleazy for the girl who wants plausible deniability.
Ok.... you're getting dates.... you want regular sex..... here's my suggestion:
First date is a little kissing and teasing, NOT TOO MUCH. Public. No early commitment to seeing her again (this is critical). Always leave it 2-3 days before suggesting another date. Don't agree to even definitely seeing her again straight away, even if she asks. "I'm busy for a few days, I'll hit you up".
At this point you are probably going to have to book a hotel because it is logistically awful to check in with her there. Don't finalise all aspects of the date ahead of time. On the day, you can say "7pm at XXX bar". This looks better than "are we still on for tonight?" which looks weak. Assuming she confirms, you book the hotel as late as possible and you'll have to check in ahead of time.
You might have to gently push this, but do the best you can to not be invested at this point. If it works it works, if it doesn't it doesn't. You're going to lose the lay 50% of the time at this point, and you have to be ok with that.
Good luck!
universitythrowaway Should i (x1) 1w ago
Thanks a lot for the detailed reply. Will be posting a few field reports together of how the date went. I agree with you, the logistics aren't great and is a lot to plan around if you don't have your own place or her place free.