Hey bros, so very recently I have started to get fed up with my lack of success on the dating market and I came across the RedPill subreddit and then this forum.
I have heard of RP before, but didn't explore it. Now, to provide some context on me + current situation and then finally the questions I wanna ask.
So, I'm a freshly 22year old 1st year master student in AI at a technical university. One of my main issues is the need/craving for connections, desirability. I have an idea as to why this is, and I will try not to phrase it as an excuse: middle school I was bullied to hell by a bunch of my colleagues and I was never able to integrate in the class. I did have friends outside of it, some also in school but never in the class which has damaged my whole perception of validation - I so desperately wanted to be accepted in that class that I tried everything and I was chasing that respect that ofc never came, I craved the spotlight and still do. These years of middle school made me shy to an unnatural degree in school environments, and especially with girls. Then high school came, and some of those assholes from middle school ended up in the same high school where they also managed to fuck up my experience a bit (not as bad as middle school, I wasn't popular but I wasn't a reject anymore) till I got into a fight with one of them and funnily enough that seemed to solve it. The shyness with girls continued, but I started to read some RP stuff and getting some dates and some short lived relationships.
All culminated at the end of it, almost 19 when there was this girl I was seeing and I was about to lose my V-card. Only that I got hit with performance anxiety, and not only I had to deal with the fucking disappoinment I had to also console her/stop her from crying and that has also fucked with my brain. After that I had a few attempts to try again to lose my V-card, not many but same outcome - couldn't fucking get hard for the life of me. And no, I don't watch porn so at least I'm not that low. Problem is these incidents are constantly on the back of my mind, and it makes me more desperate for sex than I should be which is very fucking bad
One advantage I have is my height, I'm 6"5 so I should be having much more success at least based on that fucking thing, but I fail again and again. I do some cold approaches from time to time but they don't feel comfortable to me yet, had a whole bunch of like numbers/insta's but yea as we all know an insta/number doesn't always mean smth. I always have this stupid little voice in my brain saying "oh she's busy, oh she didn't make eye contact bla bla bla". Another issue I have is that I have relatively high standards which combined with the lack of field experience is a shit combination
Other than that, I'm doing fine in life. Hobbies wise I joined a beach voleyball team so I can train for the summer/learn a sport and meet people + a surfing association bcs its a cool thing to do and gives you a more chill vibe (or at least I hope)
One thing I am lacking right now is in the gym department, I am starting on it slowly as I am firmly in the skinny-fat category.
Now, my question to you guys is: what should I do first? Seeing there are so many topics/videos/books what should I start with? What problems could be that I overlooked to mention/ I am completely fucking blind to?
Any help is appreciated
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2d ago Stickied
I mean first thing is first. Have you
READ THE SIDEBAR?
It's also a pre-requisite for asking questions on AskTRP
DaxerZone 2d ago
I only read the rules of the forums so far, but I will read the rest then
mattyanon Admin 2d ago
well, definitely read the sidebar as V-Rx says.
Well no. Height is a major advantage but it's not everything.
good!
Right. If you're good..... when you're good.... you can convert about 3% of approaches to lays. And that's when you are GOOD.
Extremely rough example: 50% are a flat no..... 50% will talk but no number..... 50% come out on a date...... 50% a second date..... 50% of those you have sex with. That leaves you with about 3%, and you can't really do much better than that with cold approach.
If you warm approach (ie she looks super interested, makes the moves to talk to you, maintains eye contact, smiles, etc) ..... then maybe you get up to 10-20% conversion ratios to sex.
Where I'm going with this is that if you've done 10 approaches and not had sex yet as a beginner, THIS IS NORMAL.
low confidence, right
Ok, this is tricky because you end up thinking all girls are "not good enough" or "I can't get her". And there ends up with no girls in the sweet spot.
The solution is to talk to a lot more girls and expand your pool of girls you talk to. You don't decide where you stand with them before you talk to them: you socialise and chat with everyone. Other girls find you more attractive because you talk to more girls, and there will be girls you weren't initially interested in who become more interesting/attractive as you talk to them. You kinda can't tell in advance how it's going to go, so don't try. Talk first, decisions on fucking them are later.
good!
good!
good enough. Ideally do it because you enjoy it...... but sure, good thing to do.
Yeah, I was gonna ask....... bodyfat % and muscles. Stay slim, gain muscles, lose the flab, get some definition.
all of it
Get fit, be as attractive as possible - work 3x harder on this than you planned.
Wear good clothes.
Be social.
Talk to more girls. A LOT MORE GIRLS.
The plan isn't to get a girl ...... the plan is to get ALL the girls.
Seriously. You want a hopping social life where you're knee deep in pussy, because that makes all the other girls more interested in you and gives you a relaxed "I have options" chill vibe.