Anyone who has been in a relationship with a woman, has experienced this phenomenon.
How can I.... when.... and....
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How can I feel safe with you, when you don't come home on time?
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How can I be nice to you, when I'm so overwhelmed and exhausted?
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How can I respect you, when you aren't ambitious enough?
- How can I be relaxed enough for sex, when you leave your socks on the floor?
Okay, maybe she isn't this blunt. Maybe she doesn't actually tell you what's wrong. But these statements - and others like them - are common female sentiments, that often lead to resentment towards us.
The sentiment of small mindedness. Where they are unable to contain two opposing things simultaneously. Let's go back to the same examples again.
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That she can't feel safe with you in general - because she feels unsafe in the uncertainty, when you come home late. She is unable to simultaneously contain, her general safety and certainty - with a specific instance of uncertainty.
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That she cannot be nice to you - while simultaneously feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. She is incapable of expending energy, while being drained of energy.
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That she cannot even treat you with respect - when she sees an element of your character, that she deems unworthy of respect. She cannot separate these two opposing ideas and respect you for your respectable parts. She loses all respect, because she is small minded.
- That she can't relax enough for sex - because of the socks that you left on the floor. It consumes her mind to the point that she is unable to relax. She cannot contain two opposing things simultaneously.
This is the common denominator in all of these scenarios and a million other scenarios like it: she is too small minded to simultaneously contain, two opposing things. She therefore shuts down entirely and everyone suffers.
As men, we are solution oriented. When she "communicates" (LAWLZIES) her frustration, we strive to fix the "problem".
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We come home on time and let her know when we'll be late.
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We take on more of the household chores, so she's less overwhelmed.
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We up our game and become more ambitious and successful.
- We're careful to put our socks in the hamper.
And......
NOTHING. FUCKING. CHANGES!
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She still feels unsafe.
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She still isn't nice and she still feels overwhelmed.
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She is still disrespectful.
- She still can't relax enough for sex because of some other bullshit that isn't socks.
Gentlemen, it's not about the socks. It was never about the socks. The socks are sock puppets that conceal the real source of the problem.
Her small mindedness.
That's the real problem, as explained above.
In old fashioned marriage, a woman had to treat her husband with respect, she had to be nice to him and she had to have regular sex with him. These were codified into law, practices in culture and sanctified in religion.
In other words: there was a code of conduct that she had to follow as a wife, regardless of her feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelings of the moment.
That isn't the case today. Today women are free to ruin their marriages with their small mindedness.
Many husbands start off by trying to solve these problems. They try and try and try some more, until that jagged bitter red pill is inextricably shoved up their ass without lube. Eventually they come to realize that she was the problem all along.
So please, don't tolerate being called a man-child. Don't tolerate being told how you aren't doing your fair share, when you pay for all the shares. Don't tolerate the demands for perfection when no one is perfect.
If women want adult relationships, they will have to start acting like adults. Until then, good men will continue to stay away and the men that you already have, will continue to retreat away from your harpie ass, into things that bring them joy.
Cheers!
Typo-MAGAshiv Mod 1y ago Stickied
That woman in the video, like most women, really doesn't know at all how her attraction works. She's grasping at straws to blame men and dodge any responsibility or obligation on her part.
Rollo Tomassi and Dalrock both covered this in their blog articles about "choreplay" years ago, and Rian Stone discusses it on his YouTube channel all the time because one of the recurring phenomena on the Married Red Pill subreddit is men trying the communication avenue, and their wives just grasp at straws like that woman in the video. Of course when the men solve the problems, instead of coitus ensuing, the wives just move the goalposts. What usually happens with these men is as they complete their MAPs and learn more Red Pill knowledge, they'll realize that while they had issues of their own to work on, their wives truly are awful bitches, and so the men end up cheating and/or leaving.
Exactly.
Another bit of food for thought: if a wife tells a husband something stupid like "maybe if you washed more dishes, I'd feel like having sex more frequently", did you wash a single sinkfull of dishes back when the two of you were dating and fornicating? I sure didn't. I just came over and smashed, and bought the occasional dinner.
Seinfeld! :D
Loneliness-inc Mod 1y ago
MAPs?
Men don't redpill men, women redpill men.
Typo-MAGAshiv Mod 1y ago
MAP = Male Attraction Plan. Athol Kay outlines it in his books.
Right, but we help each other by exchanging notes.
Vermillion-Rx 1y ago
This absolute condescending demeanor that goes hand in hand with an unwillingness to just tell the guy what's wrong is partly why so many men are jaded about commitment.
If a woman isn't putting out and at the bare minimum won't even directly tell the guy what's wrong that's such a slap in the dick and is the definition of playing games. Seriously? He has to figure out why for you?
Men just want to get from A to B. Men are problem solvers and engineers, not fucking detectives. This attitude is a large reason why I haven't committed to a woman in 10 years as a boyfriend.
And her man voice is chillingly grating. Dear Lord woman I can hear the lack of feminine energy from you just flapping your gums at us
Typo-MAGAshiv Mod 1y ago
They rarely even know it themselves, and are just grasping at straws. See my sticky comment.
oddbelt987 1y ago
"The Problem That Has No Name"
Loneliness-inc Mod 1y ago
Yes, this is often the case.
However, sometimes they honestly don't know what's actually wrong, because that would require introspection.
Introspection is a tool of the patriarchy!!!
And so, you can go round and round in circles, trying to figure out what's wrong. All while missing the fundamental problem.
That you are not the cause of her feelings or inability to engage.
She feels unsafe? That's her feeling.
She feels overwhelmed? That's her feeling.
She feels exhausted? That's her feeling.
Her feelings are her responsibility.
If she takes responsibility for her feelings - you solving your part, will be an added bonus that will make things easier for her.
But if she's just passing the responsibility onto you - it's impossible to fix this, because they're her damn feelings and you cannot fix her feelings!
Unfortunately, the latter is usually the case. She's usually just passing responsibility onto you. Because...
Responsibility is a tool of the patriarchy!!!
whytehorse2021 1y ago
And it finally comes back full-circle as clown world. Esther Vilar pointed out, in the 70s, that women were too small minded to see that they had easy, comfortable lives so long as men were dumb enough to keep pedestalizing them and providing resources. They couldn't see that all they had to do was keep riding the gravy train... and so they went with feminism and alienated the very men they were manipulating. And then men invented red pill and became unmanipulatable and stopped providing resources.
This upset the global order as men walked away and left it to crumble. Populations crashed, school shootings, migrations, suicides, divorces, depression, anxiety, infrastructure failures, labor shortages, housing shortages, inflation, food shortages, etc.
I wonder how they'll hamster this now? I need men but I don't have to have one... This has led men to go elsewhere and find women that want men. This has led to leftover women that have to work and do everything themselves.
I wonder if women are incapable of overcoming this. Right now you have men and women all over the planet pointing the finger at modern women. Every stat, every chart, every outcome shows this irrefutably. Maybe they are doomed to sink their own ship.
Loneliness-inc Mod 1y ago
If they take responsibility and accountability - they can overcome this.
I'm not holding my breath.
Overkill_Engine Endorsed 1y ago
On a long enough timescale this could exert a selective pressure on women that until now they have been largely exempt from unlike men. A lot of modern women are either going to end up childless or single moms, and the stats for outcomes of those children are bad enough that they are effectively screwing up the ability of their children to pass along their genes.
Unfortunately with the Welfare State that first world societies implement, it's drawing out a process that could have already been over half done a generation ago, and puts us at risk of total economic collapse as a result. And our political locust class gives no fucks because they have bolt-holes in places like New Zealand to run to.
fskfsk 1y ago
The women having children are the undesirables, the welfare queens. They outnumber at least 50:1 the smart women who lock down a husband in their early 20s.
Having another kid means a bigger welfare check. If you're a lousy parent, the value of the welfare check is more than the actual cost of raising the child. For many poor women, if you ask them how they're going to earn a living, they'll say "I'm going to be on welfare."
I was on the subway, I saw a (presumably) single mom with 4 kids aged 4-8, presumably from a different baby daddy each. They're the ones outbreeding responsible people.
Natural selection is happening, but it's in the wrong direction. It's literally the future they predicted in the movie Idiocracy.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
The pressure is already exerted. The question now is whether these women will double down and go extinct or change behaviour. I think they'll double down since I've seen 3 generations of women in my own family where the women die alone, fuck up their kids, end up on welfare, etc.
Now it's getting popular to get foreign women so these modern women are going to run out of simps, nice guys, and husband material guys. Every time another guy experiences foreign women he tells 5 more guys so it's definitely exponential. We've also become hardened against shaming tactics by women.
Overkill_Engine Endorsed 1y ago
These same women will whine that they can't find or keep a "good man".
It never occurs to them that a good man has better things to do than to commit himself to a social contract that imputes all responsibility for everything onto him while getting less benefits than he would from a FWB or series of one night stands.
Loneliness-inc Mod 1y ago
And they'll blame it on men.
Land_of_the_losers Mod 1y ago
If socks on the floor is your biggest problem, then that sounds like a pretty sweet existence.
Loneliness-inc Mod 1y ago
First world problems.
redblow22 1y ago
As the Prophet Bill Burr points out, "When are you going to pick up your end of the couch?"
Land_of_the_losers Mod 1y ago
My ex was a master at losing her temper over small-minded problems. Or "chickenshit nonsense," as I later referred to them.
These included: My tone of voice, failure to give her something with enough enthusiasm, failure to agree loud enough, getting out of bed during a sleepless night to sleep on the couch instead, I drive too slowly, I drive too safely, I breathe too loudly while driving, and I make too many 'loud clicking' noises while filling my gas tank. Rejoinders to this last one like, "this is my car, I can put gas in however I want to" or "you can't even AFFORD a tank of gasoline, miss! Why don't you start worrying about that instead??" only seemed to heighten the tension.
Issues too large to bother her included: Having no job. Being penniless. Being a parasite in someone else's house. Having no skills to handle adult life. Not knowing her way around downtown. Not being able to read maps. Apparently not knowing that putting flammable materials into a hot oven will start a fire. Not being able to prioritize what to feel upset about.
But, hey, she could fight over chickenshit nonsense for days, however. That's a kind of talent, I guess.
Typo-MAGAshiv Mod 1y ago
Is that the same woman who turned down the trip to Taiwan?
Land_of_the_losers Mod 1y ago
You betcha.
Typo-MAGAshiv Mod 1y ago
Yeesh. I'm surprised you stuck with her as long as you did. Then again, I put up with a lot of garbage over the years too (not just from women).
Land_of_the_losers Mod 1y ago
In addition to my stubborn desire to be a reliable partner-- being an unreliable boyfriend always seemed like a terrible thing-- part of it had to do with the fact that I was getting a lot of positive reinforcement from people. Like, her family really liked me, her friends kept telling me how good I was for her, etc. It felt like I was doing the right thing by sticking with her, trying to be a supportive guide who was demonstrably trying to build a future, and we could develop as a couple. Another big part of it was I simply didn't know how to recognize or deal with a gaslighting psycho. I rationalized it with thoughts like "I don't want to disappoint everyone" and "Maybe she'll grow up a bit more?"
But, yeah, it took a long time for me to conclude: "nope, this chick is fugging broken-brained"
Typo-MAGAshiv Mod 1y ago
I feel ya on the family loving you part. So many of my exes' families loved me. I think that's part of what turned them off, after the initial infatuation wore off!
Land_of_the_losers Mod 1y ago
"If my parents like him, there must be something wrong with him!"
Typo-MAGAshiv Mod 1y ago
Or my favorite line I overheard when one of my exes was fighting with her mom....
Ex's mom: ...and don't you dare screw things up with [Typo's real name]! He's a good one!
Ex: [over the next few weeks] *screws things up completely*
Land_of_the_losers Mod 1y ago
See? Old fogy out of touch mother doesn't know what's good.
She said it was "stupid" for her to run-off with her ex-flame Stabwound McBadboy. Well HAH!
Loneliness-inc Mod 1y ago
So when she gives you sex...
Oh, never mind.
oddbelt987 1y ago
To paraphrase Jesus...
Boar_excrement 1y ago
The only sensible response I can muster to the state of modern whimyn is indifference. And I know I am not alone.
The irony is that these whimyn will end up as inspins and never know why. They will have the opportunity to show their strength and independence for life and they will resent men for it.