TL;DR: Dated a girl exclusively for 6 years. Relationship went downhill recently, she started cheating, found out a few months later. Learned many lessons from the experience, would like to share those with other red pill members who are in/considering an LTR.

 

Backstory: Will keep this short, we were each other's first love and first sex, got together at age 19, now both approaching 25. All aspects of the relationship went downhill last year.

She started a new job, met new people, got a gym membership, became very outgoing, basically became a different person, travelled the world with her slutty female friends etc. Sexual, personal, and romantic intreset from her declined massively.

She started an Instagram account I was unaware of as I don't use social media, uploaded photos of her body, photos where you can only see her ass in swimsuit (with an “ass” emoji) etc. She started to “spin” 50+ “male plates”, screening for the best one to cheat with. There were some very sexual sexts between her and some of the guys (where she likes to be held when she's fucked, guys pressuring her to fuck them already and whatnot), exchanging photos in underwear, and I’ve only seen 4 random chats out of ~50, very briefly. Make no mistakes, those guys were good looking players, she used to answer my massages after 5-10 mins as she was so much more intrested with chatting those guys.

Later she picked a somewhat planned and fake fight with me, talked disrespectfully and was very uncollaborative to make me respond accordingly and asked for a break (after 6 years she knew the exact words to use, to make me uncollabortive during the fight).   A week before the fight, some guy hit on her at the GYM, she added him on Instagram and simply started to hit on him back herself (asked him the classic "interview" questions, told him he's very hot bla bla, I've seen the actual chat), he asked her if she has a boyfriend, to which she replied "It's complicated :)". They also met for a "30 minutes talk in the GYM".   Once she was down to fuck, she initiated the fight, went straight to his place without even dating first, and fucked his huge dick (she actually shared this with one of her "male plates" and I've read the chat, she was so happy about his height and dick size, she didn't forget to insult my size as well, honestly I'm average lol).

She didn't tell me shit, we got back together the next day, only 4 months later I found out about this (and probably there was tons more cheating I'll never know about). She kept sexting her Instagram plates (and who knows what else) after fucking the huge dick guy, until we broke up. She never had much regret IMO.

Massive thanks to TRP, without you I would have never found out she's cheating, without you I would have been absolutely crushed to death by the feelings and thoughts I would've had with a blue-pill mindset. I owe you one, and I hope I can help others with my first hand experience.

If you want to read what I think was my part of the downfall, please refer to Endorsed Contributor ex_addict_bro comment. I don't think it had a lot to do with what happened, so I won't post it here.

 

Lessons I've learnt:

First of all, are you in a so-so relationship for more than a few months of feeling unsatisfied sexually, emotionally, and even unsatisfied about the "non-intimate" friendship between you? Have you put decent effort into trying to fix "your side" of the problem without much results?

Then stop waiting for the magic to happen, the only magic that'll happen is new cocks will magically appear in her pussy behind your back.

• Thanks to "newName543456" for reminding me this once. There's no "my case is different". Wake up. I was aware of TRP, yet fully believed my case is different. It's a hard one to unplug from.

• You shouldn't really get to the point of using dread game extensively, I believe you shouldn't start an LTR if you're feeling insufficiently attractive without "dirty games".    You will later try to compensate by being an asshole, getting her jealous, and other types of really low quality shit, these "dirty game" will only make the girl more "red pill" about you long term. This has been so key to what happened in my opinion.     Also if you're not feeling very attractive, you will start believing she has "unconditional love" towards you, which will be VERY painful if she cheats and dumps you.    There's some TRP article about you two should always be "fuck yes" about each other, once that's gone, GTFO, don't waste your time and resources, it's better to even be single!      Personally I've always waited for that 100% proof that I should leave her. Do not do this, you will very rarely get this 100%, and you will waste so much fucking time by then.

• You cannot cheat-proof yourself. My "strategy" was to never invest too much time, money and overall resources to her (never helped her with her car, didn't care that much when she was sick etc). The logic behind this was - as long as I'm not providing anything and avoid the beta bucks position, there's absolutely no reason to stay with me if she wants to explore new dicks.     However, logic and women don't go well together. :)

• DO NOT start an ltr with a girl who massively lacks life experience. Everyone's prone to change, but girls like this are just a ticking time bomb. Find someone with a somewhat developed and solid personality.    In my case we started dating around age 19, I was her first "real" boyfriend, took her virginity, she didn't have any solid social circles, any solid personality, she didn't really go to nightclubs or even pubs before. I could see her becoming a different person every time her life situation changed (when she changed jobs for example).    She's now turning 25, fear of missing out is a real thing (google it, thanks to a TRP member for opening my eyes here), as soon as she started to get a lot of male attention and developed socially it was game over due to this.     Also related to this are girls with poor self esteem who tend to think they're 10 times hotter than they are if "hot guys" hit on them. Those bitches are unstable.     And also related to this are girls who seem “hypocrite” when they talk to other people (your family, her friends, even a waiter, customer service agent, anyone really). I hamstered she's just shy or something and ignored this.

• Some stupid mistake I've always made in the relationship: I never wanted to be her listening gay friend. Obviously wanted to be the alpha lover. So whenever she started to talk about negative shit in her family, job, friendships etc, I used to tell her to STFU as I'm not interested.     Obviously this was retarded of me, combine this with a not-so-smart girl who never used to understand "clues and signals" from me, and the result is a girl who thought I don't have any personal interest in her, and stopped talking with me about herself all together, not only about the negative stuff. This has definitely contributed to the ltr going downhill.

• The last point reminded me of another big one IMO: She never understood any non-verbal clues cues and signals from me.     There are so many nuances that have to be communicated non-verbally in a relationship. Many tiny things that are just ridiculous to be discussed verbally. Your LTR has to be able to read on those signals from you.    

• A really obvious thing I've missed - if you want to keep her, give her something worth missing (great advice given by another trp member). I was always blind about this, all I had in mind was the classic "if you want to keep her, be willing to lose her". Last year the relationship was pretty shit, which meant she didn't have much to lose. Neither did I, fortunately.

• Another obvious one. Trust your gut. I read so many TRP guys talking about this, yet I've always hamstered that I'm just paranoid "because of TRP awareness" lol, and I really didn't trust my gut as all of the "red flags" about her developed very gradually over 1-2 years.    Also the cunt was highly manipulative and always restored my trust whenever we met with her fake ass behavior. A massive clue my "gut feeling" gave me towards the end, it that I always felt negative and had some anxiety when I expressed love for her. My gut knew that she's not someone to love and definitely not someone to express any love to.

• Take the rule of ignoring her words and only looking at her actions to the extreme. Words has no meaning, at least coming out of a female mouth.

• Be very aware of any changes in her behavior after you have a fight where you've cut contact for some time. Assume nothing is accidental.

• If you're going to invest your time, resources, and emotions into a woman... Trust but fucking verify. Don't ask me how to do this though lol.    I never wanted to snoop. I feel very negatively about snooping. Only once in my life I tried to snoop, I took her car dashcam SD card, after the fight when she cheated. Surprise surprise, it was empty lol. So make sure you date a noob :)

• I thought that doing whatever I can to be the alpha lover rather than the beta bucks provider will make sure she'll never cheat (as there’s no sense staying with someone you don’t want if he doesn’t provide anything, or so I thought).     I almost never spent money on her whereas she did buy me gifts and paid for vacations. I took this as an amazing green flag and really appreciated the fucking cunt for this. Almost never helped her at all with her car, computer, whatever it be.     Whenever we had a boring meeting I left early rather than wasting my time. I was never her gay listening friend. I even pretended to be cuckold sometimes ROFL, to be more stoic and make cheating on me less exciting (Fully retarded move! Live and learn...)     So yes I did avoid the beta-bucks position, but it's all worthless when you're not her sexual fantasy and you're not having an overall good relationship and good time together. And it's all worthless once hypergamy kicks in :)

• One thing that falsely bought my trust, was her always calling other girls sluts. This falsely gave me the impression that she's unlike them. She was 10x worse than most of them.

• Stop fucking masturbating, this massively lowers your masculine drive, erection quality, sexual enjoyment and passion, energy, and pretty much anything vital to keep you attractive.     Do you hamster masturbation as a way to last longer? Simply relax your muscles and breath while having sex and you will last longer.     Sometimes I used to be so unpassionate about sex thanks to fapping the day before, That I would ejaculate fast to get it over with! You might be doing this as well, it's not a very conscious thing!

• Girls don't and can't really hide their personal, sexual and romantic interest in you.     As soon as you start looking for clear signs that she's actually interested, it's game over. Don't waste any further time, don't wait to get cheated on and lose any further trust in women.

• You should have some common social circle, you should have an idea how she interacts socially, how she responds to guys who might be more attractive than you, how "proud" she is of you, how her female friends will respond to you when you make no effort to be impressive and how she'll respond if a close female friend dislikes you.

• I found out she's cheating when I met her and told her the reasons for my suspicious, and asked her to show me all the conversations or just never ever contact me again.    I didn't have the balls to do this for the first 2-3 days after finding the Instagram account with all the guys comments and mutual likes (it was very suspicious as we unofficially agreed to have no opposite sex friends and tell each other of any "special" interaction with the opposite sex).     The thing that made me make the move was an RP friend advice : "She already broke your trust completely with the sexy photos and all the mutual likes and comments with the guys."     So if you find yourself in a similar position try to think this way.

• If there's any sign of infidelity from her, do not be afraid to dig deep into it and threaten the relationship if she doesn't provide proof. There were some past incidents that I should've digged into and I just ignored!

• I believe any TRP member knows this already, if she asks for a break, there's another dick she's waiting to fuck if she hasn't already. Women are monkey branching. They are afraid of being alone as if being alone meant death. Especially true for the fucked up ones who cheat!!!     So if you’re ever asked for a break, just ghost her for this lifespan. Seriously.

• Never assume any red flags you see are manipulative games she uses to play with you and get you worried\attracted etc. As depressing as it is, take any of those as genuine red flags.     I made this mistake for so long and kept dating a cheating whore unknowingly thanks to this mistake.

• A massive mistake I made, that was talked about and agreed amongst RSD on a free tour for example, is that I took "non-neediness" to the extreme. I never showed the slightest hint of jealousy. I’ve very rarely told her that I loved her. I never reacted to her red flags or manipulative behavior.     This could make her feel that you truly don't give a flying fuck about her and will make her cheat, just like being really needy would.

• Even if the girl invests in you massively, cooks you whatever you like, does nice shit for you, wants to pay for a vacation with you, it still means fuck all about her feelings and fidelity.     As fucked up as it sound and as clueless as it leaves you, this was so true in my case. And it's not as if she did all this shit from remorse, she behaved exactly the same in the far past as well.

 

List of red flags I've learnt:

• A big one: she became indifferent to my validation.

• Something I recently read about cheating women (outside TRP), those are the girls who don't bring up the problems in the relationship into a conversation. If you're having prolonged bad periods in the relationship and obviously it's also your fault to some degree, and she doesn't even put the effort to talk and sort the problems, something's MASSIVELY FUCKED.     Remember girls do not come from the point of "You can't negotiate desire" unlike us!

• Girl tries to monkey branch as soon as you have a fight where you cut contact for a while. This became worse with every fight, and the stupid blue-pill me, thought she's so hurt by me that she tries to prove herself I'm not the only men alive and she's so hurt that she can't be home alone, and even worse, I thought she's doing this just to manipulate me lol…

• A big one IMO: we stopped having those "special moments" after sex. In the first 5 years there used to be an amazing mutual feeling after sex, especially if she orgasemed.    In the last year, she was in a neutral mood like nothing happened, suddenly I felt like a 60 year old fat-ass sleeping after sex next to her. We could even have a fight within 5-10 minutes after sex.

• Every action or word of disrespect towards you is a massive red flag and should be taken very seriously. But do not try to be double-standard about this, you must respect her too.

• Towards the end she suddenly had no problem telling me she finds this and that male celebrity hot. I thought we're joking and asked her if she wants him to fuck her, she said "yes but gently with kissing first" lol. (She might have done that to amuse herself by playing with the loser she's cheating on. She had 0 regrets I am almost certain.) I believe if this type of behavior appears out of nowhere it could be a big sign. Again never assume she’s just fucking with you.

• For the first time in the relationship, she declined sex a few times after she cheated (happened randomly through the 4 following months until the breakup). She said shit like I'm not horny, I'm tired, you can fuck me while I'm resting if you want (WTF) etc.

• Possible red flag, not sure though - she develops interests in male things that you don't have and interest in. For example you hate soccer and suddenly she develops an interest in it. She suddenly like the type of humor that you and her never liked before. Sound gay as fuck, I get it. But she's actually preparing herself to blend better in the sexual market place.

• She doesn't care to stop some mutual activity or habit you always did together. As an example, until she cheated, we used eat together whenever we met. Around the time she cheated, she started to eat before we met and didn't care to break this habit. Although if I did it before it supposedly broke her heart lol...     Also related, around the time she cheated, until the breakup, she was on her phone all the time whenever we met.

• The fucking hiding her phone thing... She had a password but she still never left it anywhere near me. Same went for her laptop. This is a very obvious one, but I ignored it since she's always done that.     I've always had passwords too, but not because of cheating and having a double-life unlike this cunt, but because I wanted to keep stuff like red-pill and some conversation with friends to myself, so I thought it's not a red flag as I did it too without being a POS person like her.

• She began to react as if I was socially uncalibrated to our "private jokes" and such. Yes those jokes and behaviors were socially uncalibrated indeed, but it was never a problem before.

• She didn't care to dress nicely anymore, I even told her many times that I don't like certain clothes or underwear, and did tell her which ones I do like, she didn't give a fuck.

• A girl who had sex with you too easily possibly isn't LTR material. This one just came to my house alone with no fear, before we were in a relationship and she was still virgin, and pressured me to fuck her for days lol.     With the other guy she fucked, as far as I know, she only talked a bit before in the gym and went straight to his house to fuck when we had the “fake fight” later. Would have never imagined my unicorn was cheaper than most of the sluts. Still can’t.     Also she never cared to stand naked in front of my window, everyone could have seen her from the street or the other houses. Weird and cheap as fuck. As a guy I felt uncomfortable to be seen fucking her with an open window lol.     And also she was loud as fuck during sex, it was incredibly hot and I’ll forever miss this shit lol, but she didn't mind my whole family hearing her... again very slutty and weird.

• Lately she adopted all kinds of "white trash" western women behaviour patterns, nothing too specific.     For example it was so important for her to listen to some shitty gangster rap during a long drive with me, that she held her smartphone in her ear all the way to listen quietly, as I told her to turn the shit off. The overall attitude has changed, really there are too many delicate examples to be worth mentioning.

• She never said "Hi" or anything to my mother for some unknown reason. Blue-pill me thought she's just shy as my mother looks very judging.    She always tried to avoid any contact with my family, shorten any interaction with them etc. Didn't accept my sister's friend request on facebook. She might have been afraid they'll see who she is and tell the blind me.

• In the last year she always had to share any life experience she had with some close female friend of hers.    Wherever we went, whatever we ate, etc, she had to send her a picture immediately. If the person she wants to share her life with isn't you, something might be fucked.

• She became indifferent to red flags from me. Things that made her cry in the past were nothing for her suddenly. (seems very obvious, in reality I wasn’t really noticing this though)

• She stopped getting sexually aroused from things that aroused her before for years.

• Beware of liars. "Innocent" and unnecessary lies out of laziness, about shit that doesn't matter, are just as bad.    For example I used to ask her where’s X, she claimed to not know (too lazy to answer?), later she needed X and knew exactly where it is.

• She always used to tell me when she got hit on by some lame beta. Sent me screenshots and told me stories that show the guy was a loser.    But some day I noticed that she never told me a story where someone who seemed alpha hit on her. Let me guess why!! :) very unusual red flag but be aware.

• Notice her family background and the relationships within her family. Nothing new, but only now I realised there were so many sings that her mother was cheating on her father.     Also her mother used to treat him like shit, beyond any imagination. She was probably bipolar to some degree which made me stupidly ignore this, as it wasn't like that all the time.

• She called every fight when I've temporarily cut contact from her before, a breakup.     I never implied a breakup or anything. I was angry and needed time to vent before we could have a "quality" conversation.     Why did she call those fights breakups? Terrible Separation Anxiety? Maybe she just wanted to fuck around with other guys without moral issues as we were "broken up"? I'm not sure really, endless possibilities, but I believe it implies a big problem.

   

That's it so far,

Hope this helps someone! :)