Dunno if he is a loser and has no motivation to get better, the only dealbreaker is the kids issue. Probably he's just a guy who enjoy the present and doesn't look too far away.

Is it bad if a girl talks to me about her bf or her ex bf and who she is going to date now?

It's undeniably bad if you are looking at LTR or marriage with this type of woman. She has Alpha Widow Syndrome like you wouldn't believe. This will go bad for any man who tries to LTR or marry this woman. No man will ever "measure up" to Mr. Wonderful.

A woman like this is straight "Plate/Next" status and an emotional black hole - nothing more.

If they got married? Maybe her bf has nieces and nephews he loves.

Highly possible. Most women lie about the end of their relationships.

I don't think she realizes the real world doesn't work out like that.

What’s the phrase from now-Jedi Master Luke Skywalker (in the The Last Jedi movie)? "This is not going to go the way you think!"

She's a long way off from locking down this future engineer with marriage and commitment. Good on her for getting in early before she's completely used up, stalled out, and passed around like a Kardashian.

Not to insult engineers, but these guys generally focus on studies and have high intellect, but are not the most street-wise group when it comes to women. The new guy might think he’s getting a catch, but who knows how many guys have run through this chick? For all we know he might be playing the game for now and has zero intention on marriage…or might consider marriage much later down the road.

I foresee two engineers in a lot of debt and Mr. Wonderful might look at his future in that perspective, hence she’s taking a huge chance with this guy. A smart man would look at paying off almost $200,000+ in student loans as a financial nightmare and leave her to her own devices.

I’m always confused as to these women who want three kids, but incur major debt studying for expensive degrees in a field they will likely not be working. Working a full-time job, taking care of three kids, and keeping a husband happy is not an easy road. Go for the marriage and kids first, and then go back to school for the degree. That’s seems more workable. University and the job market will always be there, but the opportunity for motherhood might pass a woman by.

An example over at the Relationships Subreddit confirms this problem. There's a 40 year old, never-married woman literally demanding a 42 year old man with teenage kids marry her and produce a kid right now. She wants this guy to commit to two more decades of child-rearing when she had years earlier to get it in. Of course the guy is balking on this proposal…that and he would have to reverse his vasectomy. Also – dude just got out of an 18-year marriage. Everyone else says the dude is selfish and the woman is running out of time. She is not running out of time…her baby-making time expired years ago. I was the only one who agreed with his sentiment. In this scenario, a 40 year old woman would have been better off showing up as a Single Mother.

Anyway - the assumption is that the future chump…husband will pay the debt, assuming mom and dad is not covering down. It almost seems as if women plan that if marriage doesn’t work out, she gets child support and alimony from an engineer versus a guy making $50K a year.

OP is right to some extent in that her behavior confirms AWALT.

Depends on where you live really.

Yup, can't be made at a woman for being a woman though. That's like being mad at a fish for swimming.

Best you can do is arm yourself with the knowledge and and act accordingly.

How long were they dating? If it was 2 years then she would have been 18 when it started. 18 and in a relationship with a 28 year old. Just lol. I'd say her social standing wasn't all that great and he was just looking a younger girl to pump. If she's going for guys that much older at that age then she probably isn't as wise as she thinks.

Idk what you're talking about. Average salary data doesn't lie. Look at all the top earning schools/degrees, they are typically engineering or business.

Besides, having an engineering degree doesn't mean you need to be an engineer. My job pulls from a variety of degrees, but engineering degrees are quite common. We aren't engineers, but the general thinking ability of an engineer is respected. My boss is pulling in 250-350k in his early 30s with an engineering degree, I'm pulling in just under 100k out of college (not engineering degree, but a lot of my colleagues do). At the higher level the senior people in their 40s-50s typically pull in 1-2M. Granted, my job isn't related to engineering at all, but my company hires plenty of engineering degrees.

What really hit the nail for me is to see what hypergamy looks like right in your face.

I think with the relearning process of true female nature and sexual strategy your brain tries to cope really hard a lot from taking all this information that feels and comes off as negative. The way it does that is by separating yourself from reality (the people around you and their stories) it makes you think “although I just read some guy’s story, I’ll still think that it doesn’t apply to me since I can’t personally feel or relate to what is being said. The mentality I have is “if it doesn’t happen to me then it’s not my problem or it’s not completely real”

Sometimes my brain can go to the extent of thinking everything here is fake.... I know, stupid.

It’s not easy to learn this material and internalize it in one day. However it does get better and better when I come here frequently and reread the sidebar and posts I’ve saved.

However learning hypergamy of the many other things, it helped me explain: why my cousin got laid more than most of any us (his higher smv) Why certain dudes I know have girlfriends (popularity, income) Why rappers always rap about being able to get any chick

But again ive never actually experienced any of these things in my life so I don’t know.

On top of that I could only assume it was hypergamy since females don’t really say what they are doing. I think they themselves sometimes don’t know what they are doing because their emotions cloud their logic.

But when you are talking to a girl and she tells you face on and it lines up to what you’ve read here, then there is no way for your brain to cope and think otherwise.

You accept hypergamy and the fact that men are disposable and that men are just creatures with heightened amounts of testosterone ready to “fall in love” at glance (which why we are considered the romantics of this world.)

You finally let go of the idea that the safe and unconditional feeling of love you received from your mother was what you’d receive from your gf/wife and realize once your parents are gone from this world that no one will really love you like they did. The only other alternative is to get a pet or children.

Unconditional love only flows in this direction:

Men > Women > Child/Pet

Lastly you realize wtf kind of world was I born into. There is no such thing as hell, this is hell. It’s sad we can realize our wiring but not do anything to change it.

Remember I’m 24 with only a few hookups, so it’s hard to relate and feel what you guys on here feel. I do see what I’ve learned through other people but sometimes I’m a bit skeptical since it doesn’t personally happen to me.