Good morning, men. Thought I should share this. It's pretty amazing how textbook this is. She's being pretty honest and it makes you just want to smack her boyfriend and her at the same time:
Hey everyone, this may be a more relationship related discussion/question, but it deals with sex and I also think the people in this sub are a lot more open than people in (reddit relationship)s. Oh, I'm also using a throwaway just in case.
Anyway, like the title says, I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years, so just after I turned 20. We have a really great relationship-spend a great amount of time together, have travelled together, he's very supportive, all of the good things you would want in a relationship and I do love him very much.
He has a very high sex drive and mine is pretty high as well. We have sex regularly (few times a week, basically whenever we see each other) and he is very into pleasing me and down to try basically whatever I would like.
I've always been very attracted to him, however he has let himself go a bit and I have mentioned to him in really nice ways how to better himself. Stuff like how he can dress better, I've even offered to help him pick out things if he's unsure, we do cook a lot of healthy things together, I help him with workouts etc.
Within the past few months I find myself VERY attracted to other men. As in, I'll see a really hot guy on the street and wonder about having sex with him. I've also had a decent number of guys ask me out and/or hit on me and I enjoy the attention, however have turned them down and explained about having a boyfriend. Lately, I've been thinking about what it would be like to have sex with these attractive guys who have been asking me out etc. I never really got to "sleep around" before dating this guy, because I wasn't super confident in myself when I was a bit younger and I also just wasn't really comfortable doing that. Now, I feel like I would feel fine sleeping around for fun and I'm a lot more comfortable and confident with myself.
Recently, I went out for a friend's birthday and my boyfriend wasn't able to come and a guy who I hadn't met before who came with our group was just insanely hot, I was instantly attracted to him. Didn't think much of it and just left it and then we got to the club and the couples paired off to dance and I was just going to go sit down or something and the hot guy asked me to dance, so I did. I told him I had a boyfriend so nothing could really lead anywhere, but the dancing got pretty sexy and I enjoyed it waaaay too much. He is probably one of the hottest guys I've ever met and it took a lot in me to JUST dance. He didn't try anything, he respected the boundary that I laid out, but still. I feel like a shit person for enjoying it so much and basically really wanting to have sex with him.
Honestly, I'm just kind of asking for advice. Is this a normal thing to feel after being in a relationship for so long while so young? I did sleep with a few other guys before this relationship, but I'm starting to feel like I didn't "get it all out" for lack of a better term. I still really care and love my boyfriend, but I also have those creeping thoughts about having sex with other guys. I don't really want to break up because so many aspects of our relationship are so good and he's the kindest person who has been through so much with me. I already know he's not into an open relationship (although I would probably be fine with it as long as it was just sexual) as we have talked in the past about friends we know who have done that. He was very stern about "not wanting to share". He's even already mentioned not wanting to have a break and then getting back together because he wouldn't want to be with me if I was with someone else during that break.
I'm just really worried these thoughts and desires won't eventually just go away and that even if I get over them...they'll come back the next time I'm super attracted to someone else. Also, I hope I don't sound like a really awful person, this was all really difficult to admit. Thanks everyone.
TLDR: chick's boyfriend is getting soft and lazy and she immediately feels desire to get fucked by other men; she lays it out very clearly and explicitly
[deleted] 7y ago
Any questions, gents? YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK AND ENJOY YOURSELF....WELL...UNLESS YOU HAVE LEO MONEY.
Remember SMV has 3 categories. And you better be net positive in at least 2 or you're gonna be kissing your GF's mouth that had some dude's cock in it not too long ago.
Lyxeka 7y ago
She makes a solid point, and I don't see how we could expect anything less from her. Boyfriend can be compared to a stock, and her's is dropping in value. She is too inexperienced to see whether there's hope he will turn around or not so she is looking to sell quick for more promising opportunities, who can blame her.
I think the best lesson here is that if you're a guy and you're not making sure you are on top of your game in life you're asking for trouble.
Sebassbacchanalia 7y ago
I got a similar feeling from it. This is just reality.
juliusstreicher 7y ago
Wait a minute! I just reread it. This fucking slut asks if this is normal for someone who was in a relationship "for so long, while so young!" WTF! 20 is 'so young'???? If it was, she sure AF isn't 'so young' now! This whore is trying to justify what she's doing and she expects us to fall for it. That's what bothers me, talking shit, and expecting us to agree with it.
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Peter_B_Long 7y ago
6 years and not cheating on her beta boyfriend? Someone should give this chick a gold medal!
[deleted] 7y ago
This post came from Red Pill women... go over there and read the chick responses to her.....
Dragon_Garoo 7y ago
"I would be fine with it, as long as it was just sexual".
And there's the difference. Men woudn't be. lol. She's ok if he just fucks someone, but we know he'll get feelz and the other partner will likely try to lock him down eventually. Oh nooo can't have that.
But her ride the CC? Sure, no problem. lol.
5t3fan0 7y ago
i wasnt sure if you were a girl or a gay man until i arrived at the tldr
tacko276 7y ago
Hooefully the advice she got was to go ride some cock. I mean shit that's obviously what she's gonna do anyway
Old_Memes_Never_Die 7y ago
Well she pretty much came here to be told that, so she can do it and justify it to herself later.
Especially the "you re more open than other reddits" part in the intro, pretty much tell "say it's normal and tell me to go ride some cocks and that I should feel good about it"
Mitchell78 7y ago
Do whatever the fuck you want but a woman's value drops when she sleeps around.
chim_city 7y ago
Her value only drops when she hits the wall.
Bing400 7y ago
A cum bucket can never return to being a virgin no matter what. The entropy of the sexual marketplace
Rotten_Red 7y ago
If a guy posted this on any relationship forum and said he was sexually attracted to a lot of other women the general advice would be to stifle his desires and stay faithful to his girlfriend.
take1fortheteam 7y ago
Still waiting. Come on guys I'm getting hungry.
mubee94 7y ago
Yes lol. Please someone make a post with reversed genders
take1fortheteam 7y ago
Gonna wait for the link right here.
Sits and waits
RonieGarret 7y ago
Could you post it and share results?
Dmva100 7y ago
Yeah unfortunately for her, she doesn't realize how good his game probably is to get sex from her regularly over 6 years, so when she does fuck up (And she will) he will probably ghost her hard and she will be widowed for good, giving her even more of a justification to ride the CC.
Peter_B_Long 7y ago
and she's already 26 so if she hasn't hit the wall, she will soon!
Drumcode-Equals-Life 7y ago
I never really noticed how quickly women age until I started reading this sub, but now that my eyes are open, women noticeably take a big turn for the worse right around 25 to 30. Hell, even one of the girls I'm seeing now is only 24 and honestly she looks terrible compared to how she looked two or three years ago, lost a ton of weight and figure, skin quality on her face going south, chain smoking cigarettes killed her voice, etc.
trollreign 7y ago
There is no wall for her in the next 10 years, maybe 15 if she keeps fit. There's a lot of cocks to ride out there for her. And she's a whore, so she will. "I guarantee it!"
Peter_B_Long 7y ago
I guess we can agree that she is past her best years.
Dmva100 7y ago
Say she locks down another guy, even if it only last 2 years or so, it won't compare to the security and life stages shared with him for 6 years. Even if her current BF isn't the ultimate Alpha, she will still be ruined. Being on the carousel in her mid-late 20s is a far more bitter pill to swallow than if she was still 19 or so. The anxiety of getting back that security will quickly suppress that drive for Alpha cock that drove her to these exact circumstances.
Peter_B_Long 7y ago
agreed. She's ruined either way unless her boyfriend wakes up and swallows the pill.
Dmva100 7y ago
Yes. And to all the newbies here at TRP, when your girl goes on a break, the exact situation above I described happens. She realizes the Alpha cock was fun but not worth the lonely nights of feeling like a used up worthless whore. That's when she texts you and wants to get back together and give it another shot...yeah...a shot of BB morphine to calm her down and prepare her for the next round on the CC, which doesn't seem so scary now that she knows you'll be waiting for her.
This cannot happen to you.
Peter_B_Long 7y ago
thank God this never happened to me
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Hector_Castillo 7y ago
I'm very curious why no one has yet pointed out that the cause could be that he didn't knock her up yet (in addition to him letting himself go).
There's the 2 year drop, 5 year drop, and 7 year drop. You can survive the first few by keeping her happy but it's rare to survive the third without a baby.
Her body is telling her, "This man can't knock you up; his sperm is weak." You're FAR more likely to keep a girl faithful if she's too busy taking care of a baby to find side-cock. Also, her commitment to you emotionally in reinforced since she has been infected by a life-long virus by you (i.e., a baby). Her body won't soon forget that. In some way, she will be attached to you for life. Whether that's a good or bad thing depends on you and her.
If you don't want children, or think they're enslavement or something like that, don't expect to have an LTR that lasts more than half a decade, if that.
This is the missing element. It's biological. It's amoral. Perfect fit.
EDIT: a few people have pointed it out but made it tangential points. It's the biggest factor here. There's is nothing more dominant in male-sex relations than to knock a chick up.
BarryMikokinner 7y ago
Alright, I'm going to lay this out as simple as possible, you have two options.
Option 1: Stay with your boyfriend and suck it up. Do not cheat on him and stay faithful.
Option 2: Leave your boyfriend and ride the cock carousel.
That's it. Cut and dry, no bullshit. Don't cheat on him cause that's wrong.
However it sounds like he has been complacent and is starting to get comfortable, it might be best to leave him to "wake him up." However be weary of this, because he might not come back.
Also don't ride the carousel too hard because you might get a bad rep and make yourself undateable except for beta providers. Have fun, do your thing, just make sure you're not whoring yourself out on the regular.
That's my advice.
BluepillProfessor 7y ago
Nope, she has a 3rd option.
She can cheat, lie to her cuck-friend, get pumped and dumped by Chad, and then go back to cuck-friend (who never even knew he was "left").
BarryMikokinner 7y ago
How about we try and teach our women to be better as opposed to enabling the toxic behaviour we all bitch about?
nazis_are_socialists 7y ago
Not our job. That's daddy's job. Our job is to be Chad
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a_passager 7y ago
Are we giving her advice, or are we dissecting her likely actions? Option 3 happens and it happens often. Regardless of her ultimate choice in the matter, this is a good example of the fork that many women find themselves at.
You can also bet that even if every single person in the comments tells her to not leave her bf, she will still look into the matter until she is either completely shut down by all of her validators, or is encouraged to cheat or leave him. Be warned, folks: when a LTR reaches this point, there is no controlling the outcome
BarryMikokinner 7y ago
Of course; the fact that the LTR has reached this point means that the guy is already fucked.
This girl is either going to cheat or leave him, she is just delaying it.
For the sake of trying to teach our women to be better, I hope to sway her towards the latter.
no_face 7y ago
is that like "teach men not to rape"
BarryMikokinner 7y ago
No, because we are already taught not to rape from youth.
Society, on the other hand, encourages women to be promiscuous and engage in toxic activities like this due to the degeneracy that is running rampant in our power structures.
BluepillProfessor 7y ago
That is not enabling. The girl knows her options. Now all us Terps know it as well.
BarryMikokinner 7y ago
The girl knows her options, but I believe we should attempt to instil proper values upon our women because inevitably they are a reflection of the men who inhabit the society.
The reason women are essentially allowed to roam free and terrorize men vis-a-vis rape and divorce laws is because the Western man is a cuck, white knight.
If we can make more women have common sense again then that will eliminate all of the problems we face.
Again, all I'm arguing is for her to not cheat but to leave him if she can't overcome her urges. The guy she is dating is clearly a beta/r-type male. We need to take the influence away from r-types and show women that the k-type attitude both benefits and enriches their lives.
Thotwrecker 7y ago
In an ideal world, yes. In the real world, there is absolutely no reward to trying to "teach women to be better" - you do the teaching and see where it gets you. Women cannot be saved from hypergamy / hamstering / solipsism by a stern lecture from a man anymore.
Maybe there was a time when she was growing up that her father could have sat her down and taught her integrity, but that time has long passed. Your argument on this matter is purely hypothetical - like what if we could as a society transform female behavior etc etc.
We can't. Bluepillprofessor is 100% right - we have to acknowledge that women in her scenario can AF/BB all day long and get their pussies pumped and their bills paid, and justify it to themselves by finding pockets of betas and sluts on the internet to help them rationalize their lack of integrity. This is reality, he is arguing from a place of realism.
You can argue for her to do the right thing and leave him instead of cucking him through a "break" or whatever, but what is that going to do? She is going to do what she wanted to do anyways - the only thing we can do is slut zone the sluts. This is the only thing they understand. When you fuck them and they want more, but you know how to suss out their RMV, and you slutzone them for doing shit like this.
This doesn't really teach them anything either, though. Best not to worry about it. You will never win trying to get women to become self-aware. Their entire nature fights self-awareness and taking responsibility, and you cannot override that.
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nebder 7y ago
You cannot force anyone to live up to your ideal moral standards. This notion of "instilling proper values on all women" is naive at best and tyrannical at worst.
BarryMikokinner 7y ago
We can show the way, we do not have to force them.
nazis_are_socialists 7y ago
It's not wrong if her cheating contributes to better genes being passed on down to our descendants than if she remained faithful.
empatheticapathetic 7y ago
Don't cheat on him cause that's wrong?
What is wrong? What does wrong mean? Does your definition of wrong match hers? What happens if she does something wrong. Anything?
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askmrcia 7y ago
Aman, though she never will. She will give the boyfriend all these excuses on why the relationship is going south, when the only reason its going south is because she is getting influenced by Hollywood and her slutty friends that she needs to have a slut phase before its too late.
SMH women
empatheticapathetic 7y ago
Lol where are you bro? The pink pill?
ShotgunTRP 7y ago
Just say cunt you weak cunt
UrsusG 7y ago
You're applying male standards to women.
Those things (having the balls to admit, honest dialogue, etc.) apply to men only.
Women's way is lying, cheating and deception.
Expecting them to be honest and straightforward is like expecting the scorpion to not sting the frog (read the parable, it's good).
You need to adjust your thinking, or you'll never make any progress.
DemumA 7y ago
Lmao really? I know plenty of honest, straightforward women. Kinda sexist bro
BarryMikokinner 7y ago
Fuck your subjective morality. Fuck post-modernism.
Subscribe to golden rule: Do unto others as you want done unto yourself.
I'm sick and tired of the mental gymnastics people go through to justify objectively wrong things.
cashmoney_x 7y ago
If, and I do mean if, you agreed with me that monogamy is inherently against human nature and we're all forcing eachother into artificial ways of living, would this alter your view on the moral aspects of this sort of thing?
BarryMikokinner 7y ago
No, because of the commitment you made to that person when you enter a monogamous relationship.
My words is all I have, and if someone breaks their word to me they might as well be dead in my eyes.
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empatheticapathetic 7y ago
I agree with you and so do my morals. But you know what? That doesn't mean shit to anyone.
BarryMikokinner 7y ago
The preservation of the morality and honour of Western men means a lot to me, even if that is a fleeting sentiment in today's world.
ozaku7 7y ago
Why are you even surprised? Imagine having a car of the company. It's reliable, being taken care of, everything is perfect and fine, and then these leasing companies start teasing you and asking you for a test-drive, looking into other leaseplans and what not. What if you got invited for interviews, even though you have a job you are really happy with?
Eventually the surplus of offer you are receiving will turn you into a guy that wants to take a few test-drives and get some interviews with some companies and see where it goes, even though you would get alot of shit if your boss would find out.
It's only natural to eventually get interested into something that just gets thrown into your face so often. Eventually you just want to have a piece of if and see what it's all about.
This girl doesn't want to fuck another guy because he is Alpha, but because he is different. She's secure with her ooyfriend, but this other guy is different, doesn't know him, which all adds to excitement and tingles.
If I would get approached by a woman and could for that split second see exactly how I will fuck her and exactly how she will react to anything I would ever do or say, it would become the most boring thing ever, except for the moment where I rip her clothes off, do my thing and blow my load. I had a girl tell me the same thing. "Sex is not as exciting anymore, I know you too well...".
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nazis_are_socialists 7y ago
Yes some women are better than others at avoiding putting themselves in situations where they will be tempted to cheat or branch swing. For example some women in this scenario would straight up tell their boyfriend to get his shit together or else they are breaking up.
UrsusG 7y ago
TBH, people are just not built for monogamy, and it shows in posts like that.
6 years is a fucking long time to be with one person when you're 20-something
26 years old, 6 years with one guy, and no kids to keep them busy, no wonder she's looking to stray.
Dressing better and losing weight won't help him now. He should either get some buns in dat oven ASAP or dump her and start fresh, because nothing good will come of it.
trollreign 7y ago
He's fucked either way. This woman will go out whoring sooner or later. I guarantee it! The guy can only be worse off by having children with her.
SasquatchMcKraken 7y ago
When it comes to families monogamy is the best system there is. My parents are going on 37 years with five kids (granted they're both very old school. I'm talking 1840s). Looking at friends with divorced parents, I wouldn't have it any other way. OP and her boy's problem is that they decided to be monogamous in their most sexually active years and yet still haven't decided to make a family. They're wasting each other's time at this point. It's like owning a house for six years but keeping 95% of your shit in storage the whole time. Doesn't excuse what seems to be her imminent cheating, considering she has evinced zero interest in ending the relationship herself. But sooner or later one of them was bound to get bored and stray.
cantFindValidNam 7y ago
Exactly. Men and women are alike on this, even though we're committed to someone, we can't help but feel tingles for others and have fantasies ("what if?", "what would it be like?"), especially after long periods. The Red Pill acts as if it's something unique to women... then wonders why it gets accused of misogyny...
askmrcia 7y ago
Don't care. Humans and especially males are built to be violent and all that shit. Does that mean I punch a guy out because he said something to me that I didn't like or looked at me funny?
We aren't tribal people and so a lot of our natural instincts should be placed in check.
When I see women post this type of shit, give her some time of "sleeping around with hot guys" and all she will be doing is bitchin about how all guys aint shit and how they all want to use her for sex.
This woman is a weak individual because once again its all about what the guy does wrong. He's no longer the perfect human being she was with when they first started so all these "hot guys" must be perfect.
I have enough 30 something single women in my social circle and co - workers complaining about their endless reasons of being single and its 99% us guys faults.
tuyguy 7y ago
The simple answer is that we're animals and we are mostly motivated by the primal desires/reptilian brain. However, we understand that in order to have a successful and prosperous society we need to compromise with these instincts.
max_peenor 7y ago
Huh. Aint that the truth. Is that why women used to be more faithful? Not because they understood the consequences from a society that enforced fidelity, but because they simply didn't have the time and opportunity? Hmmm. I think I might have to alter my thinking on all this.
UrsusG 7y ago
Time and opportunity is one natural factor.
Another thing is women's sex drive plummets after kids, so they're naturally less inclined to fuck (anyone, least of all their husbands).
On top of that used to come the societal enforcements of fidelity, i.e. fear of being abandoned with small kids, or being separated from the kids, if caught cheating.
But that was before the government became women's collective father-husband.
BluepillProfessor 7y ago
Idle hands are the Devil's workshop.
tteabag2591 7y ago
Now that I think about it, it's almost like the experience or hormones of pregnancy make them needier and/or more awake to the reality of how serious sexuality can be. It's like they don't really grasp why they NEED you around until then. Could just be an act to garner security but that explanation would only make sense if the sex was also infrequent. Definitely something to this though.
fetchyminx 7y ago
And you didn't have more people turning polygamous because errrrr muh gawd my sex drive and attention from hot guys
max_peenor 7y ago
AWALT is nothing new.
http://metro.co.uk/2016/12/08/up-pompeii-erotic-paintings-reveal-sex-lives-of-ancient-romans-6308999/
It's ok to want attention and sex from hot guys, dearie. You have my permission.
slickdevil1 7y ago
You do know that this kind of decadence and cultural decline eventually ruined the roman empire, right? They got weak, comfortable and let their guard down.
thenotoriousDr 7y ago
did I miss the AWALT in the article ? it only says that there were basically prostitutes in the roman era. well no shit all eras had prostitutes. and it clearly states that only the married men could have sex , married women couldn't. edit:word
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yessum447 7y ago
At 26 she's got a year at the most of fucking hot guys before she gets anxious about not being able to lock down a quality guy for the long haul. Really should've realized this at 22, at 26 it's unlikely she can get a better guy than she had.
max_peenor 7y ago
Get it out of her system. hah. Nothing does that, toots. You'll just hit the wall and lose the ability to pull the sort of men that make you went in the furry place.
washington_breadstix 7y ago
That's precisely what made me cringe about this post. There is no "getting it out of your system" for its own sake. That just isn't a thing, and if a woman yearns for random dick more than she appreciates whatever I'm giving her, then good riddance. I wish I could show the BF in question this post so he could start running.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Most of these examples though are from very bad and loose boyfriends who are beta to the core. You can't blame the women for constantly being distracted. However if a chick is mentally ill nothing will make her happy. But this chick sounds rather normal and it's the guy being a major loser.
chim_city 7y ago
Some people are impossible to please. They argue about everything. "You drive too fast AND you drive too slow". You will never be able to make them happy. == mentally ill.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Well I can agree with that. Mentally ill people will always find something to complain about because the drama that escalates from it is what they crave. Either you are to beta and they get 'bored' or you are to alpha and they 'give up'. It's all the same thing, either they don't care or get angry at you the result is still the same. They hamster a way to cheat and feel even better.
The only thing you can do with modern mentally ill women is to never give a shit about them. Because the moment you do they will use it to bring you down, just for the heck of it.
chim_city 7y ago
this was solid, thanks for that
chim_city 7y ago
How exactly do you tell a woman, she is mentally ill, she needs to see a therapist, and get on Antidepressants.
... you walk away and save yourself
if you can't (like family) ... queue the defensive rage fight.
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
If you need to come to grips with the erratic behavior of cluster B women the best thing you can do is reading up on the subject. Allowing you to accept it and move on.
Macheako 7y ago
Just like....countless men who want to fuck hotter women cause after the marriage homegirl throws on a snuggie and 400 lbs.
men and women aren't any different in our depravity. her boyfriend SHOULD HAVE got off his ass, on the flip this, this ho needs to be real with her shit. I don't think she's doin anything wrong. She doesn't want to be "stuck" with a guy whose already letting shit go after 6 years. Flip the genders, would you blame the guy? No! Don't front lol.
but if she goes outside the "contract" without letting her partner know, then just like the dude that does it, she's an ass hole.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
= Comfortable and confident with herself while being supported by her committed boyfriend.
Women are in complete denial of their own nature, because admitting how she feels would make her look bad.... and lose that beta commitment.
Well, at least he's got half a brain and knows what "taking a break" means.
Also of note: she's looking for ways to blame her boyfriend for her imminent cheating. "He's let himself go / doesn't know how to dress".
He's done pretty well to maintain an active sex life for 6 years, credit to him for that, but now she's losing respect for him as justification for her being about to cheat or leave. Most likely the former, and she'll blame him for it... so that she can stay "a good person".
[deleted] 7y ago
She's going to be devastated when he lands on his feet and gets another gf. She will feel some small victory from the branch swing, but she might end up like one of these middle aged women writing for the UK Mail, or Gaurdian
DodgedAFew 7y ago
Interesting she never considers whether any of these hot guys could be her new boyfriend. She does know the drill!
Drumcode-Equals-Life 7y ago
That's why she wants the open relationship, keep the beta provider but still get to fuck around with all the hot dudes she wants
insuman 6y ago
My ex that sent me here said words to that effect to my face, they know it, AWALT.
SasquatchMcKraken 7y ago
It never ceases to amaze me how so many women are so uncomfortable with just breaking up with a dude immediately. Since turning on to TRP I now know the process behind it; AF/BB, branch swinging, etc. But I still don't really grasp their need to have a loyal man at home while they go out and betray him, often frequently, with dudes they're actually attracted to. I mean, why not just demote the poor sap to orbiter or something and go fuck around as a single person in a socially acceptable manner? Why keep the title? And why offer "breaks" instead of breakups? The (male) mind reels.
Dragon_Garoo 7y ago
They almost never leave unless they have another option.
yessum447 7y ago
Most women(Many men, too) rely entirely on other people for validation. If she isn't hot enough to get hit on every day then she needs a boyfriend or at least a love interest at all times to validate that she has value as a woman.
Most girls can't picture a life where they don't get confirmation that they're pretty at least once a day.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
AF / BB.
The BB is not always money but often security.
Because he might leave.
Security, attention, so she's always got someone. Then she won't end up alone, even for a short time.
For all the same reasons. She knows she can get fucked. She doesn't know she can keep a guy around. So she's not going to let go of that branch before getting her claws firmly into the next one.
SasquatchMcKraken 7y ago
All solid points. I especially never connected it in my mind that a BB can be security rather than just an ATM. We focus a lot on post-wall BB's who are often very much wanted primarily for their money, but I never figured a boyfriend could play the same role in different areas.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Yup. Been there, done that. I was never an ATM, never did a girl's homework for her.
But I did offer commitment and security. Every time. And got treated exactly as described here for my troubles - worse than shit.
Eventually in exasperation I started seeing girls for just sex, offered them nothing at all, and got treated like royalty.
Then went back to commitment. Got treated like shit. Then back to FWB's. Got treated like royalty again.
Female friends are somewhere in between. See them often and they get rude and abusive. Ignore them and they get much sweeter.
hmmmmmm it's not a very difficult pattern to spot when it keeps happening like this.
So yeah...... BB = commitment and security as much as bucks.
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MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Except we can't be sure it's true. She's making it sound like he's turned into a badly dressed slob.
It's more likely he's stayed the same, offered unconditional commitment, she craves some Chad, and this is just an excuse to blame the man.
Whatever his part in it... it's yet more evidence about how women react when offered commitment, and therefore how counter productive it is to offer it.
Thotwrecker 7y ago
Does it really matter whether or not he's let himself go? She thinks of it as true, so to her, it is true. When she thinks of him as letting himself go, she gives herself permission and moral justification for doing what she wanted to do regardless. So it is true to her - we will never know if it's true or not and frankly it doesn't matter.
When she wants to cheat, she'll find some excuse. He doesn't make enough money, he doesn't spend time with her, he's not emotionally present, he's let himself go, he's X, he's Y, etc. And her excuse will be 100% true TO HER, which is all that matters. She'll selectively tell people about it who she has prequalified - aka she knows they will agree with her - and when they agree with her, it becomes even more true. This thread has degenerated into TRPers arguing about her justification / who is to be blamed etc, but it really doesn't matter because she is always going to feel justified in doing what her hormones & social programming tell her to do. Maybe he's in good shape and a successful, studly man - hypergamy is still true, and hypergamy still wants more.
antariusz 7y ago
Hypergamy means that if he was the best she could do, she'd not be hanpstering ways of getting fucked by Chad.
The problem is, her hypergamy instinct is telling her she could get pregnant with another man, and hide it from her current boyfriend and he'd stick around.... she knows it, because she has already tested the water and he didn't drop her. This is human biology. This is hidden ovulation. This is hypergamy. Textbook AF/BB. Doesn't matter if her boyfriend was alpha bucks to her at some point, he is currently her beta bucks.
She brought up an open relationship. He said no. He should have said, sure, I've been working on a couple girls already. This was his beta mistake. If she brings up open relationship, the relationship is already over.
FREEDNA 7y ago
It could be the way he drinks coffee that she's going to rally behind to justify dumping him for other cocks.
juliusstreicher 7y ago
Exactly. "No self-respecting woman would let a man abuse her with his horrible coffee drinking ways!" -Hamster
SasquatchMcKraken 7y ago
Yep. Familiarity gradually breeds comfort, comfort sooner or later breeds boredom, and boredom rapidly breeds contempt. She's looking for any excuse to play the field before her dreaded Thirties arrive.
Dragon_Garoo 7y ago
SO much this. And men do it too. You start to get annoyed as she pulls away her comfort, gets a bit bitchier, and you become shorter/harsher. Soon you notice that thing about her body that never bothered you before, and looking going.. "hmmm why won't she stop eating or work out or whatever." Only thing, women plan that shit ages in advance and then when ready, blammo.
harsha_hs 7y ago
Sure, but you can't have the cake when you eat it.
TangoZulu 7y ago
Exactly. If you read her comments, she starts hamstering even more reasons why it's his fault. Started with gaining a little weight, then dresses poorly, then he sits around too much and she likes being active, then he doesn't have a drive to succeed. By the time she dumps him, she will have convinced herself and everyone who will listen that he was emotionally abusive. Anything to take the guilt off of her.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
At least when men cheat it's because "I wanted to fuck another woman", not "the woman I chose to be with isn't perfect enough today".
harsha_hs 7y ago
yes, it's pretty rare to see selfish men. most always try to admit their mistakes eventhough it's not theirs.
Do men go to heaven in the end?
blackedoutfast 7y ago
who knows if he actually let himself go and turned into a fat slob, or if she's just telling herself that he has to justify fucking other dudes. if he was too disgusting they wouldn't still be fucking every time they see each other.
my guess is that he is probably about the same as he has always been without a significant increase or decrease in SMV and she has just gotten used to him. even if he is a solid RP dude and only slips up and shows beta weakness occasionally, after 6 years she has seen a good bit of it.
LandoChronus 7y ago
Absolutely. If he's stopped caring about taking care of himself, its natural to start thinking about something else.
Until she cheats: then she's a shitty person
xeneize93 7y ago
Yeah I feel that too, you gotta keep up appearences. At the end of the day we like to be with someone that looks good, if I had a girl that let her self go while I still look good and got attention from other girls...I'd probably cheat honestly
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xeneize93 7y ago
You're right, but I've been in positions where the temptation was too big, the girl too fine to pass up so I've cheated and broken up right after but still its cheating. Its a shitty feeling after you cum and you realize what you're losing cause the guilt is too much at least for me but its things that happen
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xeneize93 7y ago
Its not like that. I wasn't happy, she got wayy too comfortable with me. She gained weight, things were stale, the sex was boring, you already know you won't last even though shes a good person. I told her bluntly she needed to lose weight after hinting it so much. Yes I was young, I should have ended it when I was unhappy instead of letting it drag, at that time I was afraid of being alone since I've jumped from girl to girl since I was 13. It happened I did learn alot and I know now I can be alone. That was the only time I cheated but this girl was too fine to pass up, I had to
RPmatrix 7y ago
why did you post this OP?
what's she's talking about is called hypergamy and we discuss it all the time
AWALT
and this is also the reason virgins make terrible LTR's ,, they get curious about what they're 'missing out on' like this chick, even though this chick has had 'a couple of' other fucks before this guy, they were her first 'two or three fucks' -- and nowhere comparable to the sex she's learnt to have since in her LTR
and now she wonders if "that really hot guy just might be better in bed than the ols bf .... hmmm?And once thaqt seed has sprouted there's not much left to do but watch
DigitallyDisrupt 7y ago
In western society, when exposed to other slutty women. Otherwise research has shown, these are exactly who you want to marry.
Sebassbacchanalia 7y ago
I posted it because it is such an amazing example of AWALT, hamster action, CC and hypergamy all wrapped up for us in one common little package.
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slickdevil1 7y ago
According to science, women with 1 or no sexual partners prior to the relationship are actually more likely to stick with you.
The more guys they fucked, the less likely they are to bond with anyone. That's human nature, according to science.
RPmatrix 7y ago
"according to science!"?
to which 'science' are you referring?
Certainly not Masters and Johnson
juliusstreicher 7y ago
I hope you've been reading more than just M&J.
RPmatrix 7y ago
like whom? They were just the first name that came to mind
slickdevil1 7y ago
I'll try to find the link and post it here. This was discussed a while ago in this subreddit. The higher the n-count, the less likely women were to bond with men and divorce was more likely. With men, it didn't matter nearly as much.
RPmatrix 7y ago
it's not that simple .... and I speak from personal experience
find the link, stop using an 'argumentum ad populum' to justify your comment; e.g. "*everybody say so ergo it must be" aka "logical fallacy"
DigitallyDisrupt 7y ago
Bro, do you even Google? Lazy fuck
http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00444.x/abstract?userIsAuthenticated=false&deniedAccessCustomisedMessage=
RPmatrix 7y ago
Bro, I UTSFE like a boss!
From the link you provided
Indeed, the findings are consistent with the notion that premarital sex and cohabitation limited to one's future spouse has become part of the normal courtship process for marriage.
You were saying?
IMHO TRP makes some naive assumptions sometimes and this is one of them
Perfect-Practice 7y ago
I like how everyone in this post is mad at the girl, she didn't cheat and her boyfriend is the one letting himself go.
juliusstreicher 7y ago
Yes, that is EXACTLY what the post was about, in toto. /s
slickdevil1 7y ago
He's letting himself go according to her.
She basically already "cheated" on him when she had a hot dance with another guy she'd love to fuck.
She also talks about how perfect her boyfriend otherwise is, caring, fairly good looking, stable, regular sex and whatnot.
But she is still looking for excuses to not have to break up with him (because of all that he provides) and still be able to fuck other guys.
If she was a good person, she would've either broken up already or at the very least talked to her boyfriend about it. But she is a typical woman, blaming others for their shitty feelings and decisions instead of taking responsibility. It's not her fault, because her BF gained a few lbs -- sure honey. She is just hamstering, trying to find bullshit excuses to cheat and not feel bad about it. She wants the beta bux and the alpha fucks at the same time. That simply makes her a slut.
[deleted] 7y ago
You can actually hear the hamster running.
trollreign 7y ago
True story. She should be a writer! I see the hamster if I close my eyes!
RedPillHanSolo 7y ago
I wanted to mention what /u/Thotwrecker explained pretty well: it doesn't matter if his flaws are there objectively. It's true to her, she wants a dick, end of story.
What I didn't see being mentioned however is strategical error of a guy:
You don't say that ever. It's the same as with newly met sluts you vet: stay "open" to anything. Deflect these questions or straight out lie, because these are red flags that eventually will surface later.
SAPPHIREAURA 7y ago
I reflect w this as a male though you get tired of the same thing. Esp with something long term when they start letting themselves go out of comfort. Monogamy is unnatural. also where was this pulled from?
slickdevil1 7y ago
its from the r / sex subreddit
Andrew54321 7y ago
This post follows another post on here about emotional volatility really well.
Watch what she does and not listen to what she says.
She is making a change. The boyfriend's solution is to change himself.
I noticed a lot of folks here lately have this defeatist attitude. Stop it. You're men. You take what is and mold it to what you want it to be since the beginning of time.
ECoast_Man 7y ago
I could have stopped reading right there and knew where this was going. This guy is toast.
nazis_are_socialists 7y ago
I could have stopped reading after her first paragraph when she starts off talking about how great of a guy he is to be in a relationship with.
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exit_sandman 7y ago
I don't buy this post.
Not that isn't possible or just unlikely, but the whole writing is fishy as fuck.
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Sebassbacchanalia 7y ago
It came from Reddit/sex. Probably still there if you feel like searching.
exit_sandman 7y ago
That it's a submission in another subreddit doesn't mean it's not a troll post.
chim_city 7y ago
Hey Op, what medium was this posted on?
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Sensei_Hensei 7y ago
She's in the track and field ready set go position to ride the cc...its already a wrap for homie
Daddie0 7y ago
Why should she be smacked, or the boyfriend?
20 - 6 is fucking 14, he was probably her first.
EDIT: I stand corrected:
Now like any normal person male or female she is wondering what it would be like to sleep with someone else. It's fucking natural.
Sounds like the boyfriend set some boundaries with her, and she is keeping them for now, and feeling guilty on top of it.
So again I ask, why should she or the boyfriend be smacked?
This was a dumb ass post.
HighCaliberMale 7y ago
I was confused about that part, but figured out she meant that she started dating him just after turning 20 and is now 26. She also said she
so, I'd guess that means 12 or so (lol).
I'd smack the guy for "letting himself go a bit" and needing his woman to lead him into dressing better and improving himself.
But, yeah I can't really fault this girl for having the totally natural feelings of wanting the CC. She is being honest and open about her desires (well probably not to her boyfriend) and I'd suspect she will eventually cheat on him, but she hasn't yet, so its all good.
Daddie0 7y ago
So I stand corrected again. LOL
That makes more sense. I thought it was one of those relationships that started when they were in High School, and then into college.
So yes I'll admit I was wrong there, he probably does deserve a kick in the ass for "letting himself go". Her? AWALT, the wall is approaching fast at 26!
mubee94 7y ago
I saw this thread on sex sub and I wanted to kick her
PantsonFire1234 7y ago
Well a six year relationship is insane. Also this girl actually feels bad for the shit she did and her hamstering is insanely low. However, she's also just 20 so might go down hill.
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washington_breadstix 7y ago
If some people ''just aren't bulit'' for monogamy, then they shouldn't lead their partners on and waste years and years of their time.
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RunawayGrain 7y ago
So she was probably sexually active for about five, or more, years before meeting the boyfriend.
Uh huh...
There's the trickle truth starting.
This is also why marrying a young doesn't work nowadays. They see their friends having fun on the CC, and decide they missed out. Then the same logic this girl is using kicks in.
Phoenixtorment 7y ago
Glad you pointed that out, was the first thing I was laughing about.
Erik_216 7y ago
This is also why marrying a young doesn't work nowadays. They see their friends having fun on the CC, and decide they missed out.
This. Then she goes off to "find herself" while riding the CC.
trollreign 7y ago
Exactly. She goes out riding cocks, comes up with some retarded hobbies, takes up painting or knitting or cosplay or yoga or some shit to pretend to be a unique personality and a happy single woman, she keeps doing this and riding until she's 35, when she starts looking for her "soulmate" and the "one", who will marry her and give her stability and support her. But it's too late by then... Or at least I hope it is.
twisterxk 7y ago
I saw this post and facepalmed hard. She tries to justify the fact she wants the CC by writing this irrelevant wall of text. AWALT
FREEDNA 7y ago
So all the things women claim to WANT in a relationship actually dries her pussy up... and just reading that made me cringe for the guy... he does ANYTHING SHE WANTS.
red_matrix 7y ago
She's been getting a lot of attention from attractive/hot men and now she has that burning feeling between her legs. I give her 6 weeks before she cheats. In her mind she's already decided - that's why she is looking for approval from Reddit...if just one of her friends gives her a green light her relationship is over.
Sensei_Hensei 7y ago
6 weeks? Shiiiet I give her 6 days after the post was made. She's primed and good to go.
7thAnvil 7y ago
I give her until her next ovulation.
red_matrix 7y ago
She's primed all right...damn. At that club it sounded like all that guy had to do was make a move and she would have capitulated....she was just waiting for an excuse.
Drumcode-Equals-Life 7y ago
Just waiting for plausible deniability
panzerknack 7y ago
This is a dumb attempt at revealing some purported female behavior. Just think of the same story written from a guy's perspective: "I've been dating a girl for six years, she's let herself go, I've tried to hint at her to work on her appearance, but I find myself noticing hotter girls on the street now, curious about sex with hotter girls, and when I was out at a dance club, a hot girl invited me to dance and I did and so wanted to have sex with her but I didnt."
Dude really? I'd say this level of faithfulness is commendable, most guys would just act on it instead of thinking it over.
segagaga 7y ago
She isn't thinking it over, she is posting to fish for justification of her excuses and reinforcement of a decision she has already taken, to cheat.
WallyHotvedt 7y ago
she already knows how to get a hold of hot guy, he's part of the circle of friends. The moment she gets approval from the hive mind her legs will spread
panzerknack 7y ago
Ok but for both of you, can you honestly put yourself in that situation? Your girlfriend's let herself go, and there's another hotter girl who wants you in your friend circle.
How long would you be able to resist, honestly?
WallyHotvedt 7y ago
dealing with this exact situation over the last 60 days. My ex girl was told repeatedly what was needed in order to make me happy, after she herself put together 2 lists of "I will do these things", 64 items in all, and presented them to me a few months ago. A past girl was waiting in the wings even though nothing was going on between us other than the occasional phone call, but she'd been wanting to rekindle but I wasnt really interested. I got fed up and told the current girl that we were done since she clearly didn't want to do the work or follow my lead any longer, a shitstorm ensued but once clear of that drama the past girl (hotter, younger, better) offered to come out and "take care of me" 2 days later and flew out on her own dime to stay with me for 2 weeks. Me: sure. Ex gf had everything she needed the dumb bitch, she just didn't want to/wasn't capable of stepping up her game, so I had to let her go. I seek exceptional, unwilling to settle for a bullshit effort. Now I'm back to harem building and enjoying my life, wish it was different, put a lot of time into the ex, but my turn there is over.