I have been on this subreddit for a little over 8 months now and I decided to weigh in. When I stopped making excuses and listening to this advice, I lost 15lbs, I had the confidence to apply to my states Governors internship program, and I tackled my fear of public speaking.
So I say again what is holding you back? Have you honestly taken a serious look at yourself and ask yourself “What is it that is holding my back”, Is it a physical barriers that is keeping you at bay from doing what you want to be doing? If not then that is a bullshit excuse. I always see many of my friends, and family make excuses on why something cant be done. When in all honesty it can, because the only person that is holding you back from being the best thing you can be is yourself, If your mind, and your body are aligned, and you are building up your masculinity, you are already miles ahead of the crowd. If you take that extra hour to read your book instead of playing your xbox you are ahead, if you go to the gym for an extra hour instead of watching your show, well my friend you are ahead, if you get up and do the damn thing, you are ahead. That is the beauty of it taking simple action, pushed you ahead of 90% of the population, and not because of some magic elixir, or some magical pill, it because you challenged yourself that day to be more then normal, to push yourself, to see how far you can go. One of my favorite twitter accounts is a Man named Veritas and in his bio he says “You must declare unceasing war on yourself.” And it really didn't resonate with me until now, whenever your push your comforts, set boundaries, build up your irrational confidence, and say “No”, you are challenging yourself, you are challenging the boundaries society has placed on Men, and your are pushing forward.
TL;DR When you take action you are challenging the norm, and you are getting the edge to help you become the man you want to become.
Edit: I did not expect my first TRP post to get gifted with gold. Thank you!
bacheloritis 7y ago
Recovering from a traumatic sports injury & having a hard fucking time finding my footing again. Happened when I was at college away from my family, year before graduating and landing a very solid corporate job. It was so traumatic, physically, that from that time until very recently (a span of about 3 years), my friends and family and strangers probably thought I had turned crazy.
Since then, the "actions" that I knew I had to take became less straightforward simply because there was always that injury I had to work around. If I think about the struggle too much I really feel like either curling up in a ball and sleeping for 3 days straight or smashing a fucking wall. Crazy thing is, my first 3 years of college, made a HUGE transformation through massive action. Went from chubby high school nerd who went directly home and played World of Warcraft after classes, to lifting weights + basketballing 3-5 days/week outside of classes/study, building up social influence and a very large network, and being offered multiple internships + offers for jobs straight after graduating. So I did what had to be done to get myself further and beyond, and then I hit another major obstacle in that injury.
It was like that scene from Inception, where Leonardo DiCaprio and that Juno girl were in the car and out of NOWHERE that train came and smashed the car into pieces. Injury happened outta nowhere. Nothing I can do, though, except go ahead. What I've chosen to believe is that I'm stronger for continuing on through the difficulties. I'm more mature mentally and emotionally because of it but I know I still have a lot of work ahead of me.
MortalHades 7y ago
Cursed denial.
Even when I succeed, no one would accept that I changed. Thus, whatever I do is completely useless.
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energyinmotion 7y ago
Avoidant personality disorder.
Need2LickMuff 7y ago
I'm too far behind for my age, so I just say fuck it and instead give my observations on other people, hopefully helping them out where I've fucked up.
OneRedYear 7y ago
How old are you? What is it you want to accomplish? Are there other people your age or older accomplishing it?
I'm also older also. But my goals are simple. Create the art I want to create, make some extra money. Have a couple of plates. I don't plan on trying to bang hot co-eds or 20 year olds. 30s plus will do.
Need2LickMuff 7y ago
I'm 25; I'm too far behind everyone to even bother trying to catch up. We're not talking just in one aspect of life where I'm being melodramatic and just need a fire under my arse, we're talking things that people should already have nailed down at 18.
That sounds like a dope lifestyle, and a refreshing perspective in the sea of Blizerian wannabes that post on here.
[deleted] 7y ago
I have the phobia of experiencing happiness. Usually if I am happy which is fleeting, I will feel a sudden shift in my emotions and mood to severe depression, worry, paranoia, and extreme boredom.
In a sense I live a masochistic lifestyle that leads to failure or negative outcomes as misery and discontent feel like less painful states than what I experience immediately after happiness.
I seem to have a cognitive distortion of never celebrating my minor accomplishments or feeling happy about them. I always feel that if I achieved something, it is never good enough and there are many examples of people doing to better.
BachelorPrime 7y ago
Podcast coming up on this subject tomorrow. check out trp.red for updates!
1Maverick1 7y ago
https://www.trp.red/podcast/111
[deleted] 7y ago
Fear of failure is why most. Men self sabotage
[deleted] 7y ago
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OneRedYear 7y ago
No excuse. My buddy has severe ezcma on his arms and legs. He wears long sleeves all year long, never wears shorts. Banged a bunch of club hoes back when we were rave promoters and has a hot wife now. Seriously.
tempjewman 7y ago
Approach anxiety.
I have a tough time approaching strangers. I can approach people if I need directions. I can approach customer service representatives if I have a question. Hell, I saw this guy with a cool laptop case and asked him about it. Had a decent convo with him.
But, I'm too scared with approaching women for the purpose of gaming. I can't bring myself to call a girl cute to her face and ask for her number. Flirting feels very unnatural.
I like to blame how I was raised for this one. Being a black guy with shy immigrant parents, from a country where the people are generally shy and quiet, living in Canada where being polite is right, there was a lot of pressure for me to lay low. I went through school too scared to raise my hand. Too scared to speak up in class, and shitting my pants during presentations. My parents put me through all-white schools, which caused me a lot of anxiety, to the point I probably do have some sort of anxiety disorder. I could only relate with the other immigrant students.
I'm glad I discovered TRP though. I was able to put steps into changing who I was into who I wanted to be. Without medication, I tried dealing with my anxiety. I began speaking more, raising my head, smiling, meditating, and most importantly consistently exercising. I put conscious efforts to stop that voice in my head concocting unrealistic outcomes of different actions. I cut out the toxic friends which caused me to doubt myself. Stopped smoking weed too. Weed with friends made me insanely self-conscious, to the point I became noticeably quieter.
So even though today I'm much better with social situations, and much less anxious, I still have enough approach anxiety to stop myself from meeting women.
TupacTyson 7y ago
You'll get out of it. Believe.
icouldhavehaditall 7y ago
For me, it's probably all the weed I smoke. At this point even going a day without my fix makes me feel absolutely depressed and miserable and angry and bored. And then I smoke so I just eat/sleep/listen to music till I get high next. Not like I was really productive before but still... i should be fucking studying and working out but the hole I've dug myself into by fucking around for so long seems too deep to even make it out now :/
SlyAM 7y ago
Don't know how long you have been smoking but I smoked for a year, almost every day, constantly. When I couldn't get bud or just couldn't smoke I'd have panic attacks and just be super bi-polar. When I finally quit, it sucked super hard for the first couple of weeks but now I barely miss it. Cannabis is great and is definitely one of the safer drugs out there but if used, it should be used in moderation, for special occasions or every now and then. Some people can smoke every day, all day and I just don't know how they do it. For me it was great but the withdrawals killed it, got to a point where I wasn't truly happy unless I was high. I know it affects every person differently, but if I was still smoking like I was before, I'd still the scrawny unmotivated kid I use to be back then. Take my advice and just try to ween yourself off of it. If you are smoking on average a quarter a week, cut back to an eighth a week, and a half an eighth the next, and 1 gram after that, etc. It'll be hard but I wish I could've done that, I had to quit cold turkey and it sucked. Before you know it you'll be off it and on the path back to who you were before. Good luck brother, and stay red.
Glassland 7y ago
You have chosen to get a literal high from your drug. And now you are addicted to the artificial stimulant. If you want to be independent from it, you must walk through the pain and agony of hell, so that its flames will purify you once again. Never try to escape suffering. It doesn't work, not in this life.
icouldhavehaditall 7y ago
Fuck, that's really profound man
NuclearTruthBomb 7y ago
Autism + bottom-of-the-gym-class genes. I've yet to see the sperg Lord whose gone from 3/10 to 8/10. Self-improvement is coping, just focusing on my finances.
Snazzy_Serval 7y ago
Expecting failure.
And when I do take action, it fails 99% of the time.
So it's a big dose of why bother.
caP1taL1sm 7y ago
You just need to approach life logically and understand that your current mindset (Thinking you will fail before you even try) is just illogical and holding you back.
Just view things in a risk-neutral perspective and practice outcome independence. So what if you fail 2 out of 3 times (probably more realistic to you anyway). You just work on improvement and you will approach 50/50, and then, you will start to succeed more than you fail.
And that's the inflection point bruh.
SetConsumes 7y ago
Expect success, accept failure as a possibility.
Your beliefs and expectations shape your future and actualize your reality.
TheGovernorPR 7y ago
That's a cuck mindset. It doesn't matter how many times you failed. I've failed more times then I can count, but what does count and failing and not giving up. Keep pushing, if you would like to talk PM me.
Snazzy_Serval 7y ago
I can't be a cuck if I never get a woman.
Don't mind me, I'm just a depressed smart ass.
Aaronindhouse 7y ago
There is always a woman out there that is willing to be with you. You have to be real with yourself. What women can you score right now? If you haven't lifted, if you haven't worked on game, if you haven't improved your working life, then you are going to be stuck with the bottom of the barrel man and go look there for what you can score. If you want to improve your chances with women, then you have to improve yourself.
[deleted] 7y ago
You can cuck yourself. You can be the one fucking everything up in your life and be passively watching. Failure is apart of it, and moving yourself to not give a fuck about failing 90% of the time for the 10% of success will improve your life.
I used to be a depressed, drug addict piece of shit. I've failed myself, family and friends more times than I can count. For three years I've known I need to quit, people from here helped me get the motivation required. Now I'm working on my drug problem, been into the gym for two months, and working on my career. There have been many setbacks to this but I'm still going forward. I'm not the most experienced poster here, but I feel as if this rant is worthwhile to contribute if it'll help someone out. I've never felt better than when I'm working on myself.
purplecabbage 7y ago
Right on dude. Keep it up, your future self will be so fucking glad you stuck with self improvement!
[deleted] 7y ago
my bad habits. food,porn, internet, addiction developed from childhood insecurity. i'm only 17. it's the hardest and most fucking depressing thing i've ever tried to cope and deal with. really trying to take control. nonetheless, i have improved, its just that my consistency is shit. I ate like 100grams of nutella today. fuckin hell.
TheGovernorPR 7y ago
I have my moments as well, but don't give up man!
Huskimbo9 7y ago
Procrastination is my biggest enemy. Following up is being consistent.
wiseclockcounter 7y ago
I'm reading this book right now called "Your Own Worst Enemy". I have a huge problem with procrastination as well. But slowly I'm learning to shift my mindset. Check out the book, it might help you too.
[deleted] 7y ago
Ugh, I'll follow up tomorrow!
valdirtheblue 7y ago
I've just had major surgery so lifting is out for me for about a month. I am however reading and doing non strenuous activities. As far as excuses go, its a fairly good one!
[deleted] 7y ago
If you're doing what needs to be done, you're in the top 10% for that day.
[deleted] 7y ago
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Arrys 7y ago
I respect your honesty. Your ability to think introspectively is remarkable. Best of luck to you man.
SetConsumes 7y ago
Did you learn to recognize the pheromone high?
[deleted] 7y ago
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SetConsumes 7y ago
Yeah, and romantic love feels so so good. But without our species would probably not procreate enough.
TheGovernorPR 7y ago
Can you elaborate a little more about the Pheromone part?
[deleted] 7y ago
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metalhead4 7y ago
That's natural and it's strong as fuck to keep the species going. I have it too but I usually get over it after a few days. Time heals that shit only.
twatbutters 7y ago
Weak men will always find an excuse to not do what they're supposed to do. Unless you have a debilitating illness, you should be working on your physique, game, and career every single day. The truth is that difficult behaviors like eating healthy, working out, and focusing on your goals take away from the pleasurable dopamine-releasing behaviors like drinking, eating junk food, or sitting around like a fatass-- in other words, things that modern society says are OK for billy the beta to do most days of the week.
Just remember fellas, you're either the guy who's fucking Beta Billy's future wife, or you're the fatboy putting a ring on her.
[deleted] 7y ago
Rings true. I, telling you bro one of the scariest things is seeing these fucking guys with these supposed wives that you just know have been dawged the fuck out, and i mean pounded the fuck down into the core of this earth. Shitbag store manager at some fuck ass place like publix or some shit with a fucking absolute dolled up cumdumpster cuntbag for a fucking wife. Serious. I guess the power of the pussy is just that strong, who knows.....
I lok at some of these fucking animals that have a shit ton of children, and I get disgusted.
[deleted] 7y ago
The worst is when you see the "aftermath" of a woman who has riden the cock carousel and she's still in college. I knew a chick like that who just by looking at her, you could tell she probably gets passed around a lot. She didn't even graduate college at the time and looked like she hit the wall.
[deleted] 7y ago
See these hollowed out bimbos quite often bro. Any bitch who has dyed blonde hair, spray tans, has a look at me type Facebook with her wild thigh and ass all over the place, smokes, etc.... yea she is definitely more than likely not a rookie if you know what I mean. Some of these girls are really and I mean really good at what they do. Quite a few of these girls know if they give some sucker ass motherfucker a little of bit of pussy, she will have you, and you will wife her up. Is it what it is.
These fucking guys fall in love with pussy so quick. Girls posting picture of themselves pretty much f butt ass naked on social media when they have children, etc..... Shits ridiculous.
See alot of these shitbag cumbucket julioetta hispanic girls that have ben dawged out by julio bros, Treywinkle, JDM driving types, etc... and, lol just lol. Quite a few of these girls where getting slutted out since high school, some even some middle school believe it or not. Thats why I'm like whatever now. If a girl really likes me, she can make it obvious to me, and let me know that she likes me. Otherwise she is just a piece of human shitbag meat to me that has been tenderized by hard dick multiple and mean multiple times and can get tossed off a fucking mountain.
godfatherchimp 7y ago
The Thousand Cock Stare is always the biggest giveaway. It seems like somehow every dick a woman encounters makes her hit the wall sooner than she would have.
[deleted] 7y ago
The thousand cock stare. I saw a link, where they showed the face of what a man and women look like after 20 partners. The man looks confident like "Yeah, in the shit", while the women looks empty inside. I saw this comment somewhere regarding what the thousand cock is and it's so true.
EDIT: found the link I was talking about. https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2014/08/27/the-difference-between-promiscuous-men-and-promiscuous-women/
[deleted] 7y ago
LMAO AT THUSAND COCK STARE.
RedditAdminsSuck_88 7y ago
The last line is truth.
There is another message board I have been posting on for years. Women and game and sexual strategy and all that is always discussed on the off topic board. I never mention TRP directly but when I contribute to those threads the angle I go with is usually just basic red pill principles. And everyone loses their fucking minds even when I simply state the basic shit(I.E. its possible that women can date/marry men and not be attracted to them physically, being skinny fat is bad, the wall, why not to pay for dates, etc.) to where I am becoming pretty hated.
I think deep down everyone knows the shit we say is true. I mean you can't deny basic shit like AF/BB at this point. So when people get mad, its because they are struggling about it from within and feel if they scream loud enough that its not true, that they will convince themselves its not true. But deep down they know its true. Don't hate the player, hate the game. The game isn't fair, but that is how things are, so you might as well adapt to it.
I pretty much said your final sentence word for word today on that message board. You have two choices, you can be the man women desire sexually, or not. That's reality so you might as well choose which one you can be, there is no in between.
twatbutters 7y ago
You can bet on this. Want to know the best way to test this out? Just see how people attack men and women when they don't like them.
The biggest weakpoints to pick on a man- he's spineless (no balls), he's sexless (loser neckbeard who doesn't get laid), he's done nothing with his life (deadbeat loser working at mcdonalds, retail, or as a server).
The biggest weakpoints of women- she's a slut, she's ratchet, she's so old, she's ugly, look at how fat she is, she's a bad mother, she doesn't know how to cook-- the list goes on and on.
[deleted] 7y ago
Yep. I'm still friends with my last LTR, and she is screening hard for providers. She fucked me at 19 when I was a 39 y/o loser riding out the recession in college. Now that she's 24, I'd stand no chance with her, even though my shit is way more together these days.
Unless I nail her between boyfriends. She wants to keep her N count low. But I'll tell you what, the lessons I've learned from her are entirely consistent with TRP.
I think she's somewhat annoyed that I haven't turned into Capt'n Save-A-Hoe. Yeah, no. Not interested. I like the pretty young things. I have no problem fucking Beta Billy's future wife.
godfatherchimp 7y ago
The truth drives people insane, they absolutely hate to hear it and recoil in fierce denial because it challenges their weak worldview.
I learned this lesson big time when the Republicans refused to nominate Ron Paul in 2008. He told the truth 100% of the time, but people do not want the truth. They want to be fed a bunch of bullshit because it makes them feel more comfortable.
SasukeDOXXED 7y ago
The wall is considered red pill? Hahahaha
RedditAdminsSuck_88 7y ago
Ive seriously had guys on that board argue with me that women age like wine instead of milk.
Ivabighairy1 7y ago
When wine goes bad it tastes like vinegar. When milk goes bad it gets sour and lumpy.
Both are apt descriptions.
godfatherchimp 7y ago
That's embarassing. Even in my bluest of blue pill days I still recognized that the average women peaked at around age 22
twatbutters 7y ago
As a general rule, it's definitely true-- women age like shit, they lose their fertility and become hags rather quickly.
But there are genetic exceptions-- some women age pretty well and look hot at 40 or even 50. Granted, they don't look nearly as hot as they did when they were 20.
RedditAdminsSuck_88 7y ago
Thats the entire concept of the wall. Yeah a woman may still be bangably hot in her 30s/40s, but she is past her prime years. The hottest a woman can be is in her early teens/early 20s.
The men I argue with say that women's peaks are in their 30s/40s. And use celebrities as their examples.
[deleted] 7y ago
Celebrities are such a rare unicorn example because once they start making money, they can use so much freaking shit to make themselves look better.
I'm not saying she's hot, but look at Kathy Griffin before and after makeup. The difference in how she looks is absolutely stunning and she's not the only one who looks drastically different.
[deleted] 7y ago
You should probably edit this to say "late teens," as opposed to "early teens."
[deleted]
Alpacash 7y ago
What if the child consents tho?
[deleted] 7y ago
Still, late teen is not bad either ahaha
Toussant 7y ago
This is the most common reason: https://www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/index/the-comfortable-life-of-the-undersexed-male
CallMeHaseo 7y ago
I'll keep it 100 dude, im tall and I lift but I'm ugly ????
SetConsumes 7y ago
Women don't mind ugly men that don't look like they have signs of retardation. You'll make her look even more beautiful next to you.
[deleted]
Toussant 7y ago
This is the most common reason: https://www.goodlookingloser.com/laid/index/the-comfortable-life-of-the-undersexed-male
[deleted]
KidWonder101 7y ago
I live with my narcissistic single mother. I have no car and little money. While I'm attractive to most females, I just don't put a lot of energy trying to fuck girls when I have no money no car and living with an annoying parent.
It's like an insecurity that I have and then I'll run into performance anxiety when I'm ready to fuck the bitch. For now, all I can focus on getting more money, getting a car, and moving out.
[deleted]
fur10us_falcon 7y ago
Living with my grandparents. Plus still in college and no end in sight.
KV-n 7y ago
I do everything trp suggests (and not just becoz trp suggests it) except for chasing women.
[deleted] 7y ago
Human Inertia - "I know what to do but, alas, I don't do what I know"
I really like the way you've framed self-improvement as not only a huuuuuge time commitment but rather little efficiency exercises here and there...the fundamental part of meaningful change is building better habits.
Good post on it's own - great post for first attempt. Good luck with your future pursuits.
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PissedPajamas 7y ago
Chemical imbalances in my brain leading to extreme sensitivities have set me back drastically, but I still go out of my way to socialize and be the best man in the room. It takes much more work for me to do what a normal person does, but I'll be damned if that's gonna stop me from living my life at 110%. If I take two days a week to relax it can offset the days where I'm out and about
And it works out pretty well, during my down times I set some space between myself and a plate. They're thinking I'm out banging other chicks when I'm actually home preparing some coffee, catching up on school work, fixing guitars/amplifiers and supplementing the right vitamins and minerals to recover
atticus77 7y ago
What kind of imbalances are we talking about?
PissedPajamas 7y ago
Active B12 and folate deficiency, biotin deficiency, B6 deficiency and zinc deficiency all thanks to polymorphisms in my genes. It ain't some bs, hypochondriac self-diagnosis, I've gone to 4 different naturopaths specializing in genetic disorders and I've tested positive for all my deficiencies thanks to those errors in my genetic coding.
Energy levels and mental functioning take a dive if I eat something I'm intolerant to, and my list of reactive foods is pretty large. I can't supplement these vitamins and minerals without fixing my gut flora because they remain unabsorbed. The gut flora lining is upset by stress, and I have a stressful job + full time student. It's a vicious cycle, so having some social cool-off twice a week is necessary if I wanna live a happy life.
pezzaperry 7y ago
How did you come to the conclusion that you needed to be tested? And who did you go to for the testing? Sometimes I wonder if something is amiss because my energy levels just seem so low, but I'm probably over thinking it.
PissedPajamas 7y ago
You start noticing that something's off when you don't have the strength to form a coherent speech or even think logically after eating certain foods. First I went with a my23andme genetic panel and it confirmed my suspicions about my genetic problems. Then I searched genetist and naturopaths in my area. Now I'm living a relatively normal life, but I appreciate it more than a person who's never had a problem so I try to take full advantage of my energy
Hltchens 7y ago
Well right now the nuke coordinator isn't getting my shit processed for acceptance into the navy. Dragging his ass.
[deleted] 7y ago
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fcmcmvii 7y ago
I think you both missed OP's point AND exemplify it.