Becky and I have been together for 3 yrs and although we love each other, trying to get her to cook anything during that period has been akin to pulling teeth.

Beckys parents did everything for her so she didn't know how to clean or take care of any other chores either. She still doesnt clean anything the way I'd like but she has gotten better at it and has been making an effort which was more important for me.

But at the end of the day, she hates chores, hates cooking and if she had it her way, we'd live off take aways or preferably eat out all the time and would be using single use everything to reduce clean up and chores.

I have recently got a great job offer with excellent benefits and salary thats about 3 hours away from my gf and initially I didn't want it but she has been encouraging me to take it. We talked about what the plan would be and we decided we'd give long distance a go since I'm not really planning on staying there for longer then 1- 2 yrs - its purely to gain a rather rare experience and extend my skills.

I also have a job offer close to us but the salary or the opportunity isn't as great as the other job.

Recently though Becky has been bringing up that she might move with me which I was very excited about. Then she mentioned wanting to just stay at home instead of looking for a job. Becky hates her job and despite my efforts to get her to reconsider her job/ find a different role etc, she has a strong mindset that she will hate any and every job she gets into so he'd rather not try. So shes been telling me that my job is enough to support us both (true), so she wants to be a stay at home partner.

She wants to do the cooking and cleaning and looking after any kids (we talked about wanting them one day but we havent talked about having them any time soon ). When I remind her that she hates these things too, she says she hates working more so shed rather learn to cook and take care of the house full time instead. Although I trust Becky normally, I dont trust her with this promise. I just dont see her enjoying these things or doing them properly. But she says shes miserable working and wants to trial this for a year and see how it works ?. She says it can be like a gap year. but shes in a competitive field so if she takes a year off, her ability to find job later on will be greatly effected.

I want us to both work and put away some savings, thats one of the reasons why I wanted this position but I feel selfish for not wanting to support her through this considering she has been very stressed and miserable about her working arrangements. but she hasn't exactly supported me through my degree, I worked and supported myself and we split everything 50/50 even though she was making 4x more then I was. She felt anything other then a 50-50 contribution would be unfair. Now that I have a proper job, she wants me to take care of everything on my own which seems unfair?

I dont know what to do. Part of me thinks partnerships involve supporting one another, there shouldnt be a division with yours mine etc however the other part remembers how stingy she was with her money and his desire to keep everything equal.

I also dont think she will be able to pull of the stay at home business properly. We dont have kids - what is she going to do all day ? clean and cook sure but that doesnt take all day. For me Id rather we cleaned together and worked as well.

Where as for her, she thinks since I can afford to support us both comfortably why do I care if she works or not ? she already has a lot more savings then I do too.

Id like some unbiased advice on this if possible. Is this a good idea ? Ive been considering not going at all and taking the offer at the closer location to avoid making this decision and I dont know what to do

tl;dr: my gf wants to become a stay at home mother but we have no kids so instead she just wants to cook and clean for a trial period

Oh, one thing... this was originally submitted to the relationships sub, written by a female about her bf. I changed it to be a male writing about his gf. The responses are? "dealbreaker" "no fucking way" "lazy" "needs a reality check".

What do you think the responses would have been if it had been posted the way I (re)wrote it above?