I'll be honest; prior to college, I was bp as they come. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18(I even asked her before I did it if it was ok), was cheated on by my first kiss/gf, dumped a year later by my 2nd gf and practically begged her to come back. I'm not happy about those past experiences and all that wasted time, or what I tolerated.
My sophomore year of college, I was dragged to a swingdance club meeting at my school. I can't tell you how uncomfortable it was touching a stranger and then failing miserably trying to dance. It broke me down. Still, I came back each week because I figured it can't get any worse. There were 30+ girls at these lessons, most unattractive but a few babes. You would try a move out, then after 2 minutes, rotate to someone new.
By the end of the second month, touching girls felt like second nature, mostly because now I knew what to do. I identified as a lead, and knew that given the right signals, my follow would have fun and feel secure. By now (graduated senior) I have danced with hundreds of girls, and have no doubt what to do. It taught me to think on my feet, create my own style, and best of all prevented "oneitis" because everyone shares follows and it's a plutonic environment.
I am more confident with girls overall due to dance. In bed, I used to ask my partner what she wanted. Now during sex, I do my thing and respond non verbally. The girl who left me wouldn't do anal, or let me finish in her face ect. Acting like you've been there before radiates confidence, and most girls won't call you out when you know what you're doing. I've done everything I've wanted and have taken charge. I have no doubt to the loyalty of my follows because I perform my role as lead.
I've tried telling all my friends to try taking any dance class, to no avail. They complain about dancing with 'ugly chicks'. Take my advice, men. Learn the skill, take a dance class. I can personally attest that it has greatly improved my life.
Killer_Wolf 10y ago
As someone that has taken a dance class at college, I agree with you said. I have only one thing to add, self-defense class at colleges are even better.
CallmeKraven 10y ago
THIS. Everything about dance will only help you on your RP journey. Just think about all the times you see someone thats impressive at dancing, whether at an event, party, club. I'm pretty sure no one ever said, "Man she didn't sleep with me because I was too good at dancing". The same reason being red will help you stand out among the ocean of blue, you are improving a skill that many people don't possess.
herewehoagain 10y ago
Probably a great way to be forced to interact with them. I love yoga class, but the interactions are limited.
Thanks for the input.
RealRational 10y ago
The one I take is so calm the only person who even talks is the instructor. No socializing at all, so that aspect of it isn't available to me either. I just focus on the forms and do me.
kaspell 10y ago
^^ This has been my experience with yoga over the last few years (in terms of social interaction). The way I describe it to my friends who ask is that Yoga == self paced stretchy fun-time with strength training and a bit of cardio depending on the instructor and your body on a given day. The scenery is sort of the cherry on top; if your having an eyes open day.
In my experience, the vibe is definitely traditionally against picking-up unless you're teaching the class.
That being said, I would recommend yoga even if it was just guys. I got a cervical injury a few years back and it wasn't bad enough to require surgery, and I had no money or insurance for non invasive therapies. Eventually I said fuck it, I need to get back into the physical side of life and sort of found yoga. It's done wonders for my neck, and general flexibility. Now I use it to balance out the cardio and leg work I get from 3 days of soccer a week, and fight the physical entropy of changing to an engineering career, which tends to park me in a cube farm most days.
In closing, yoga, like anything will give out what you put into it, but in my experience it is nothing short of great. (and it's the method that gets me closest to the ever elusive 'meditation' state I keep trying for)
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barmaleo 10y ago
+1
There's also few other thing swing dancing helps with:
Leading. No leading - no dance. There's no such thing like "would you like to swingout? If you comfortable of course, I'm not insisting" You make a girl do a proper move when you need it, no arguments, no compromises. If you're a good lead, girls will enjoy dancing with you and enjoy how you lead them. You can take this attitude to your daily life and it will help a lot.
Eye contact. No one will have fun dancing with you if you awkwardly look behind her shoulder. Look at her, smile, hold contact, etc
Also, if anyone wants to take it a step higher, check out tango, blues dancing and kimboza. Unlike swing they are quite sexy each in its own way. Also solo jazz it will help you dance better in general anso you discover where some of the modern hip hop moves come from. Actually all above will make you quite a desirable dance partner in any dance club. Chicks dig good dancers and with so many men either afraid of dancing or can't dance well it can be a very benefitial and relatively easy exploit in dating world.
BhiQ 10y ago
I definetly need something like this :x
Too bad swing dance isn't really a thing in my country I think? Alternative suggestions?
capt_behindsight 10y ago
I'd say any one-on-one dancing style is great. Id even recommend a karate/Krav Maga or similar self defense class as that too is about power and breaks the touch barrier
tangman 10y ago
Just wait til you dance bachata or kizomba.
Dylan_Tnga 10y ago
Playing music / being a musician works wonders too. It's almost my entire angle when picking up girls.
I don't know how to dance though, never have. I just hate dancing for whatever reason, probably from being a BP male in highschool and being unable to get a girl to dance with me, so now it's like "fuck it, I'll just supply the music instead"
I should probably learn dancing, it sounds pretty useful.
TomilloDanup 10y ago
You should try it. I've seen musicians become good dancers in less time than the rest of us. I think i'ts because people who can make music are so used to hear timing and rythms in songs that it becomes second nature just to match a foot step with something you already do efortlessly
AbioticFountain 10y ago
As others have said, I can also confirm this. I've been swing dancing for three years now, and it's a lot of fun. it's also a cool party trick, if you know someone else can swing, builds rep while also being a ton of fun. I would highly recommend it t anyone looking to pick up a random skill most places are really cheap and from my experience there's almost always a good turn out, with more girls than guys.
//end advertisement for swing dancing.
Invalidity 10y ago
The corollary is that ugly chicks are a stepping stone to bigger and better things. If new guys don't like ugly chicks and want to jump straight to attractive women, they must be able to offer something of value to compensate. Most guys don't have a good track record at all.
The reason why most guys have "no luck" with women is because they can't handle attractive women. They THINK that they can, but in reality, if those guys haven't had any success with the women they've been targeting, chances are, they wouldn't have any success with uglier women either.
As a guy, you either build up a strong portfolio to start off with (muscular, fit, attractive, high-status, etc.) or you start from the bottom up and make your gains from there. You don't jump in to the fray expecting the most, because you'll easily end up disillusioned by the failures and you'll ultimately end up settling to preserve your withered ego.
ragnar_graybeard87 10y ago
I agree. One of the things my dad used to tell me that I never paid attention to was "You gotta start somewhere" anytime he pointed a chick out and I said she wasn't hot... Oh well I was young at the time.
CreateTheFuture 10y ago
Ah yes, Ladder Theory. That was my intro to TRP before TRP was a thing.
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Temptationn 10y ago
I was going to make a thread on this earlier but decided not to. This is true after finding out about trp a year ago when I was 19 I didn't want to date a hot girl in the future and screw things up, so I dated a ugly clingy girl in secret for 2 months before I got tired of her and just had to no contact, but that is what really made me not even want a gf anymore no matter how they look, it's just so annoying always having to be there for someone at times I forgot I was dating her until that "i love you please reply its been days" popped up on my phone while at the gym.
freethinker34 10y ago
Now you know what women feel like when "nice guys" are professing their love to them.
dicklord_airplane 10y ago
i had the same experience with free swing lessons in college. i still remember the basics, and knowing how to spin and dip a girl is very handy. they love it. girls are dying for more guys who can dance. i'm beginning to think that dance lessons should be a mandatory part of kid's upbringing to stem to rising tide of awkwardness, anxiety, low confidence, and lack of dominance in dudes. clearly, guys won't just know this stuff from instinct. men have to be taught and trained to be men.
The_BeardedGentleman 10y ago
That one was KEY in swing dancing. Its probably why I liked it so much. If you don't force the female to go where you want her body to go, shes going nowhere. You have to make her spin, make her move left, make her arch out and make her come back. Its perfect for helping build dominance mindset.
And every time you fuck up. You have to suck it up and do it again. Just like trial and error when meeting chicks.
renzy77 10y ago
Can confirm. I did salsa during and after college; it's a great way to meet girls and the competition is lower since most guys shy away from dancing.
Evolved_Red 10y ago
My main account on Reddit was massively downvoted a while ago, about some video that had a guy dancing. Redditors were calling this guy 'a fag' and 'dancing is gay'.
I told them that whatever they think, guys in dance get massive amount of pussy thrown at them. Hivemind didn't like the truth, and mass downvotes occurred.
I was in a LTR with a dancer for 7 years, I saw that shit first hand. Dancing gets panties wet. Too bad most men lack the confidence too see it. No I am not a dancer.
TheWaterTemple 10y ago
This is the result of laws restricting the Japanese porn industry. It's funny how this has become a thing to look for in a women. To each is their own I suppose.
zuk1 10y ago
This has been a thing since porn pretty much. Nothing to do with jap porn specifically.
TheWaterTemple 10y ago
After doing a bit of reflection and light reading, I came to following hypothesis:
Coitus interruptus has been a thing since it was discovered as a form of birth control, and Japanese porn industry regulations created Bukkake culture.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coitus_interruptus
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bukkake#History
monsieurhire2 10y ago
Another great thing about dancing is that it teaches you about how to read and send body language. You can tell just by looking at the available crop of dancers who wants to dance with you, who thinks you look creepy, and who is on the fence. You can then act warm and friendly to the people who signal interest, freeze out the people who prejudge you, and win over some people on the fence who haven't done anything to offend you. All without saying a word.
Planner_Hammish 10y ago
Dancing is also a great way to learn about holding frame.
RosewoodPill 10y ago
One time on a cruise I (embarassingly) danced to Grease with the hottest girl in the club.
There werent a lot of women there, just a boatload of guys making fun of me and laughing at me from a distance for hours.
I made sure to send them a wink as I left with her sopping wet.
Temptationn 10y ago
Don't take it as wasted time, take it as a lesson because if it didn't happen it wouldn't have opened your eyes to see how women really are.
moose_war 10y ago
Genius idea. I have no interest in swing dancing but it sounds like a great way to meet women too. You automatically have an excuse to touch her, so all you have to do is make her laugh a bit and look the part (be fit, wear tight clothing) and there you go. I imagine women don't have their defenses up the same way they would in a bar.
Prattler26 10y ago
I've been dancing for quite a while now. While it does help, you can still be a great dancer and be massively blue pill. Just like you can be super high status and massively blue pill.
It certainly helps, but it won't solve your problems without other more important work.
CreateTheFuture 10y ago
This is the key to much of being new to TRP. Once you've actually been there, of course, you don't have to "act" anymore.
criveros 10y ago
Taking salsa and bachata classes has opened a lot of doors when it comes to my social life and women.
zpm-j 10y ago
This is a good idea, but I am hesitant. Is it too creepy for a 30-something year old man to take a dance class?
Bulldog44 10y ago
Who gives a fuck? Too creepy for whom? What does creepy mean anyway?
There will always be some people somewhere that think you are some way or another. If you want to take a dance class, take a dance class, anyone that doesn't like it was furnished with their very own asshole they can fuck.
capt_behindsight 10y ago
Not at all man. There were people pushing 40 at my college. As long as you joke around and have a good attitude it's all good
SWALLOWTHISPILLBITCH 10y ago
Here's what it looks like when a good salsa lead hits a club. These women have surrounded him and are DROOLING. Not only that, any women in the vicinity sees all of these super-hot women wanting attention from him and want him as well, his SMV is off the chart!
TomilloDanup 10y ago
He's dancing bachata, not salsa. And women surround him like that because he's the two time bachata world champion (along with his wife). But you're on point, a good lead will have some girls drooling over him. Altough not as many as Daniel Sanchez.
TekkomanKingz 10y ago
Square dancing in High School was awkward as fuck and I was a handsome young lad and the bitches were fine. But they had a bad attitude and I wasn't really interested in those types.
I had no problem copping feels in other ways at school but dancing some old people shit when you are 15 years old is the quickest way to dismantle a boner.
capt_behindsight 10y ago
You don't know swing, man. It's really not boring at all, look it up on YouTube. Also there's a huge scene in almost every major city. Think Frank Sinatra, that's dude is classy
Eagle_creek 10y ago
Its not the dance itself that improved your life, its your devotion to it.
Eagle_creek 10y ago
For example, if I will devote myself to surfing, I will get the same impact ad dancing
Movonnow 10y ago
To each his own, personnally, martial arts did the trick for me.
The_BeardedGentleman 10y ago
Can confirm. Took swing dance lessons at a local college a while back and it massively helped me with anxiety issues. Plus there were lots of good looking college chicks there and almost no males to be seen except the old instructor and some kid there with his gf. It was nice to say the least...
bsutansalt 10y ago
Now get good and teach those swing dancing classes and watch your world explode with college pussy! Status in an area of life chock full of hot ass is where it's at.
henry_k 10y ago
I started less than two years ago to learn salsa, a little after i discovered game. At first it was awkward as hell; i couldn't touch the girls, i couldn't follow the teacher in his moves, i couldn't lead the girls properly, i was a push-over by the girls that were more experienced. But i persisted. And i started practicing more and more while gaming the women at the same time. And i got good. Really good. A year later i started organizing salsa workshops in my work campus - in my first class over 100 people came. Since then i am teaching salsa on a weekly basis. I am not the average guy any more, not even the guy that is good in salsa; i am the teacher
The amount of validation and attraction you receive just because you are a dance teacher is incredible. Being a scientist, with a PhD and numerous publications, earning a very good salary comparing to the average European and it all means zilch. But be a teacher and suddenly you are amazing!, attractive!, hot! in the eyes of the common people.
Of course there are rules on how you attract people from your classes, and this is true in all class environments, not just salsa. If there is enough interest i will expand this to a separate post but until then, AMA.
TL;DR: I can confirm /u/bsutansalt/ post, i am a dance teacher
iliketurtlesdurr 10y ago
how exactly do you get laid doing this...?
The_Real_BenFranklin 10y ago
Ehh, I always found dancing to be an easy way to hook up with chicks. It's great for those times where grinding would be socially unacceptable, but you're looking for a way to increase physical contact.
cleftscout 10y ago
Like u/bsutansalt posted, status. They will see the teacher as the leader because he is the leader. He is the one who knows what he's doing and holds all the cards regarding what is and is not taught in the class. It's also something physical so it will keep him in good shape and on top of all of that, he can take a girl away from her male counterpart at any time for any reason , whether it be to demonstrate a new dance move, or because he wants to. Bitches love a man with control and bitches saturate that man with pussy.
Modified_Hackware 10y ago
I've had girls whom I knew genuinely disliked me...
Host a few parties, draw a crowd, suddenly I'm their best friend. With women your sexual market value tracks closely to your social market value. Teaching something, anything, automatically grants social proof which equals sexual proof.
It could be tennis, tying knots, starting fires, lifting weights, how to spit like a man... How many ugly professors get hit on? Lots. It's the power dynamic.
Edit because I'm a spastic. /u/iliketurtlesdurr
iliketurtlesdurr 10y ago
So he gets her number after class? I'm curious how the actual conversion happens
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iliketurtlesdurr 10y ago
So he just gets her number after class? I'm curious how the actual conversion happens
8Js 10y ago
you just mention that you have something going on later and you invite them to join you, it's not that hard to meet with people outside of class/work, you just need to ask while talking to them about other stuff.
rpscrote 10y ago
Dancing is one of those things thats obviously very good for game, but I just hate doing it. I found taking classes that I was horribly bad but the chicks still respond if you are unfazed by it; laugh it off.
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cmiovino 10y ago
For what it's worth, the 'pickup crew' I used to hang out with years ago does Salsa classes. The one guy is really into it. They others only do it to help with interacting with women in general.
TomilloDanup 10y ago
Yes!!! This!! I'm taking dacing lessons, Casino style salsa and Bachata. It has been a very rewarding expirience so far. Just as you said, dancing with many different girls, geting used to a bunch of them being solid 9's and geting desensitized to their beauty and just leading them.
Many of the benefits of dancing have already been told in this thread so I'll just add one thing: A man that can really really dance, can make any girl shine on the dancefloor and that kind of status can't be beaten.
And there's a lot of RP wisdom in dancing. I love It. To me I'll never stop lifting and I'll never stop dancing.
817682 10y ago
Good article.
I think you mean "platonic", and you're using it to mean non-sexual; I would disagree, it isn't (or shouldn't be) completely non-physical and non-sexual, but it's an environment where those desires and urges are controlled and channeled predictably and productively.
capt_behindsight 10y ago
Ah thanks, and yes that's what I meant. That is true, They say dancing is like sex with your clothes on. I meant it more in the sense that there is no expectation to hookup like when at a party or club, there was for sure a ton of dating within the group
dennislang 10y ago
There I was thinking you were learning how to dance on Pluto.
felipebarroz 10y ago
I would take dancing classes in Pluto.
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SociaIAnxiety 10y ago
I tried the dance thing and the instructor went way too fast and I felt like an idiot not being able to keep up. All the girls looked at me like I was a colossal loser. I felt horrible and regret going there almost as much as the time I tried aerobics.
CowardlyPetrov 10y ago
Stop being a pussy. You will be bad at EVERYTHING at first.
capt_behindsight 10y ago
Everyone goes through the clueless stage. Don't take it so seriously, remember you're there to learn, not impress. Most women find it endearing if you make light of your mistakes. I think you should try it again, it makes a strong statement
SociaIAnxiety 10y ago
I actually went with a date to the class. It was supposed to be fun. I watched as other admitted amateurs caught on like wildfire and I was the one that got burned. Maybe I should start slow - maybe start with a barrel roll down a hill.
zuk1 10y ago
Think of it like starting a new job. You are clueless and make stupid mistakes to begin with yet after only a few months you are one of the regular employees and there is some other new guy starting.
TomilloDanup 10y ago
In dancing If you don't make the mistake your body wont learn the correct way to do the movement or step. You fail, and then try again and, again and, again and when you finaly master it, you move to the next more complicated step or pattern. It's like lifting you lift heavy and heavier over time. It's like with girls, you fail and practice until they become second nature. I'ts like TRP you may start as a massive blue piller and eventualy little by little you turn yourself into a RP Alpha. No one ever said dancing is easy.
Edit: a word
SociaIAnxiety 10y ago
Maybe I should have kept at it, but at the end of the first day I felt like I still hadn't gotten the very first step sequence. Of course everyone else figured it out and the instructor wasn't going to slow down for me, so I was lost the entire time - faking it as they say. You can fake it till you make it in most things, but not a dance room full of people.
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Zamarski 10y ago
Yeah, I concur on the dancing thing. I took some Latin dancing lessons years ago and then my second ex (Venezuelan hottie) helped me relearn. It's served me in good stead.
austrologi 10y ago
I took 6 months of salsa and bachata lessons... walk into any club and can own it.
redpillbanana 10y ago
Partner dance is a great cure for hover hand if you're not used to touching/handling women.
One of my old comments:
So many aspects of ballroom dancing (or any sort of parter dance, really) are reflections of the real world.
Here's a great quote from Data on Star Trek:
As I see it, I need to maneuver my partner around the dance floor, taking care not to bump into anyone or anything, dancing to the music, spontaneously choreographing a changing and pleasing series of moves, all the while maintaining light conversation. . . . My, this is difficult, isn’t it?
Note how difficult it is for the lead (who is usually the man) - the lead not only has to choreograph the dance in an entertaining way that is appropriate for the music, but also make sure to watch out for other couples and make sure the follow is safe. The follow just has to follow. The lead is also usually the one to approach the follow and ask her to dance.
This all corresponds directly to approaching a woman in real life - the guy has to make sure everything goes well regarding conversation, timing, drinks, dancing, push and pull, cockblockers, wingmen, etc, while the woman just has to sit there.
Another parallel - there's a pretty famous graph in the salsa community called "The Salsa Hell dance graph": http://www.addicted2salsa.com/dance/the-famous-salsa-hell-dance-graph
Note that things are very easy for the follow and very difficult for the guy at first (because of everything that Data mentioned). Beginner follows often dance with more advanced leads because the lead is responsible for judging the level of the follow and designing an appropriate dance, and also because a follow with some experience can guess at what the lead wants even if she hasn't executed the move before, so it is fun for both people. Advanced follows, OTOH, almost never dance with beginner leads (unless they're nice) because it is really boring for them and they can't stand it. So leads have a tough time, not only because they have so much to learn, but also because the advanced follows don't want to practice with them.
However, if a lead is willing to put a ton of time into his craft, he'll eventually surpass the follows in skill (since there is so much to learn) while the follows kind of top out and have to resort to extra styling and such to increase their skill level. These skilled leads are extremely valued in a dance community and generally have their pick of follows, in fact they usually have to turn down dances because they're in such demand.
Sound familiar?
Direct link to salsa hell graph: http://www.salsafs.com/wp-content/uploads/learning_curve.jpg
RealRational 10y ago
Life is too chaotic now, but dance classes are something I've wanted to do for a long time.
I still really like the image of old school (aka real) James Bond. Proficient with small arms, unarmed combat, knows poker and reading people, familiar with wine types enough to pair them, dances with confidence and masculine grace. Exercises critical thinking skills in split second situations, etc...
Dance is the only one I'm really terrible at, excepting slow dancing which is so easy it doesn't count.
anarkodarko 10y ago
I never even thought of this. I should totally do it. Thanks man.
peoplearejustpeople9 10y ago
I do contradancing due to my hipsterish background. A lot of physical touching, plus there are like three times as many women who come as men.